QUESTION: What do you think about the somewhat conversational or poetic rhythm of my Dad's navy story ("Magazine Watch")? Does it sound weird how many of the sentences are incomplete, (this is the unedited original version- how he wrote it). It looks almost like notes, that he intended to finish later, but I'm not certain, because there are some pieces that he wrote in that style which I know he considered "finished". Does it flow, this way? Perhaps I'll do a slight edit with more complete grammar, so we can compare them...?

Other thoughts? Should I beep the "b****" word?