No, RuneyGames. Thank you. Thank you for such a rich and wonderful story.
Wampyre
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A member registered Apr 28, 2019
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This game/VN was a big surprise for me. I wasn't expecting much, going in to it. What I found was a wonderful world that captivated me and drew me in to its depths.
I personally get a bit irritated by dominant female personas and found those characters a mild displeasure. The real sin, for me, is the alphabet soup regime (lgbtqia++++++++++++) character. With such a fleshed out story, it was compleltely unnecessary, and for many of us, inappropriate, to be playing a male MC having sex with women to then have queer content imposed. At one point, Ezra discusses quitting and leaving. I was thrilled that I could opt out of having that character in the story. But, alas, against my will, MC brings Ezra back in to the fold. Please edit this scene to allow the MC to take the opportunity to get rid of Ezra.
Overall, I enjoyed the game thoroughly. I highly recommend downloading and playing through it. Just be aware that at some points it becomes somewhat convoluted and confusing as to how to progress and you will need to turn on "Fast Travel" at some point in order to progress. Having said that, I do applaud the author for having the forsight to include that option.
Wartribe Academy* is an experience well worth your time to explore and a cut above most on this site.
I do get your point. I even understand why you see it the way that you do. It's your baby and you've poured a lot of time, effort and yourself in to the project. My review was harsh, yes. But, being harsh doesn't make it wrong (for me). Another user highlighted that he did not agree with me and he's not wrong either. After all, art is subjective. It wasn't your 'big picture' that I was criticising. It's what greeted me upon entry which you openly admit is sloppy.
Think about when you start an MMO. People tell you that end game is great, you just have to drudge your way through the first few levels. In reality, a lot of us are just not willing to do the drudgery 'because it gets good at the end game'. A great many MMO lose their customers in the first hour.
To reach a broader audience, perhaps it is worth re-imagining the start and easing us in to the story. Now, I really don't mean to be hurtful or rude but the next thing that I say is going to sting. I promise, I am not saying it to hurt you.
"you're not considering the fact that I'd written nothing before this game, it's growing pains". That's a you problem. What I mean is that you're aware of what I am criticising. You understand where I am coming from. However, It's not up to me to consider. Well, of course, I could; But, I am not obligated to. We all have to start somewhere. I'll give you that. I'll even give you credit for putting yourself out there and making a genuine effort. Perhaps it is worth revisiting the start, though.; If you believe the 'end game' is good. Could you not re-work it to remove the exposition dumps and forced cut-scenes?
Well, thank you for taking the time to ponder my thoughts. I won't download it and try again, right now. Maybe in a couple of months I will take another look.
I appreciate your differing opinion but I don't really have 'bad days'. I actually live a really good, drama free, life. I understand that perhaps you really enjoyed this particular game/VN. I have nothing bad to say about you nor what you like or do not like. I, however, maintain my right to give honest, blunt criticism so far as I see it.
I freely admit that it may or may not have a good story once you settle in to it. However, I, myself, was unable to settle in to it. The point of my review was to highlight, specifically, that it is too bogged down with unskippable cut-scenes and MC 'thoughts' to allow many of us to settle in to the story. It completely lacked natural immersion; Instead relying on heavy-handed exposition dumps dressed up as MC thoughts.
Conversely, it's okay not to fully understand the author's world at the beginning. Let it unfoold through dialogue via conversations with the world's inhabitants. In fact, couldn't you go so far as to suggest that the lore unfolding over time is actually superior story-telling? Thusly also giving content and overarcing reason for conversations to take place; Ekeing out the big picture slowly from start to finish.
To give a great example (in my opinion) of slow delivery on the 'big picture' as I am suggesting, I recommend (or remind you of) Lucky Paradox. The nature of the world is effectively linked to everything and the centre of many a conversation, slowly filling in the world lore; Yet it is sparingly mentioned or touched upon. There are numerous underlying story arcs playing out within the bigger umbrella and, importantly, 'thoughts' are used sparingly. Our understanding of what is going on is built upon slowly over the course of the story.
Anyway, that's just my two cents. I feel that this game/VN sucked out any and all interest immediately. Nonetheless, I do appreciate, welcome and applaud you taking the time to disagree and let other people see that whilst it wasn't to my satisfaction, it may be to 'theirs' (or other's). I respect you for keeping your rebuttal predominantly pleasant. Have a great day.
I do apologise for my long-winded nature. I always feel compelled to be concise and attempt to avoid being misunderstood.
This is absolutely the second best story on this site.
Whilst it does lack any freedom and you essentially are just reading along with the story; The story is great. I tend to prefer to have freedom to decide where to go and what to do. However, when the story is this well written, just go with the flow and enjoy the ride!
Quite probably the greatest story on the site. You must download and play through it.
What more can be said? It is worth every minute that you spend with it. I am not used to praising works; Generally I only bother to write a detailed reason why something is bad, like a deep critique of the failings. Part of me longs for it to be higher quality graphics but quite frankly that doesn't detract from how great this is. It is far better that the author spend his time continuing this great work, as is, than to waste time trying to update or 'improve' it.
Just bad. Really bad. Don't waste your time to download bad.
It is absolutely bloated with unskippable 'cut-scenes' making it extremely, painfully slow to move forward. Instead of learning about the world through intelligent conversation you're subjected to "thoughts", the bane of any poorly written story, which just drags everything out on top of the cut-scenes.
On the topic of "thoughts"; This is just lame and sloppy. At some point, someone in the Ren'Py creative community added it to a story (presumably) because they lacked any skill to write well. Then, a bunch of grubs wanting to try to cash-in on a new concept (whom also couldn't write eloquently) thought it was some writing talent to mass dump exposition as "thought"; Saving them from having to actually write conversations which could impart the world lore in a more natural way. This is an extremely horrific offence to writing. Everyone should make a stand against this lazy writing. Say no to "thought exposition dumps". Whilst it may be pertinent to add a random thought occasionally to clarify the MC's perception; It is outright horrific to dump exposition or NPC thoughts. It is just pathetic.
There are many stories on this site which have far better writing. Go enjoy those. Say no to "thought dumps".