itch.io

Charming!

Amazing zine! Tho I do need to point out a small error in it: you mention "intersexuality in spotted hyenas." Spotted hyenas aren't inherently intersex, because intersexuality means a deviation from common sex phenotypes (so no species is inherently intersex :p there are plenty of intersex creatures in nature tho! Like those hens turning into roosters, or that one lioness that spontaneously grew a mane.) A lot of people use the word "intersex" incorrectly, so it's important to be accurate when using it so as to avoid spreading misinformation :3 I'm gonna link you this curated collection of intersex works in case you want to read more on the topic ^^

Fascinating game! Do you think you would ever get around adding sources to it? (Maybe in the game description?) I would love to read more on the topics presented here!

The endings depend on your fortitude on day 9 :3 try keeping more people alive. Or getting more or them killed perhaps.

A wonderful learning ressource. The basics of persian are presented in a simple and understandable way. It's also full of good advice for language learning in general (I <3 grammar). Go learn persian now! It's good for you!

When you extract yourself from your own body which represents something different to you as it does to everyone else so you can rebuild yourself as someone different and free from that skin. Bottom text.

o7 I said I'd personally check every submission of the intersex jam and on god I'm committing to the bit.

(I'm definitly keeping an eye out for Terminal Status btw :3 )

A really cool exploration of how scary relationships can be when one has an unusual body, & how to cope with that. I liked it!

(ps: I believe there's a typo when Intravenous talks about how they learned they were intersex with Suture, I think you meant "neither of us knew" rather than "niether of us knew" ?)

Really cool exploration of the feeling of alienation that comes from being seen as a fictional trope rather than a real person who could exist and have feelings

Prae Obscura is extremely good at surreal worldbuildings & memorable characters, and the painted city features both in spades. As I am writing this review, the game does not yet contains any art, which frankly emphasizes the feeling of the setting to a delicious degree. Do I know what the characters are seeing? Not quite. Can I feel it? Oh, yes, I can.

The depiction of the protagonist's intersexness, and how it affects their journey, from the desire to get their rightful body back to the difficulties of undergoing such a difficult journey as someone frequently subject to adrenal crisis, is so fucking cool and real. That's a real person right here with personal history and desires and opinions on things, who also happens to have intersexuality be a huge part of their life. It owns.

The end of the game hit me like a ton of bricks. It's layered with so many meanings. The use of the video game format to emphasizes the illusion of choices, the removal of agency, the cyclicity of it all is just... chief fucking kiss. Someone will fix this one day (break you out of the time loop) (get god some fucking rest) (stop rampant & systematic IGM) someone will fix this one day. But I'm sorry. Today is not that day.

Anyways I love Curio Curio is now my best friend we are GETTING some medecine for the dog.

A sweet story! Perfect for people looking for feel-good romance about two people who may fuck up sometimes but ultimately care about each other & want to do better.

THIS RULES

hi, sorry i am confused. the game keeps mentioning what happens "on a successful check," but it never explains the mechanics of the check. How are the checks done?

Ok! Good luck! :D

ok so futanari, got it.

Hello! I am doing a list of intersex media. Just checking: does your story feature an intersex character (as in, someone who has traits outside of sex norms) or a futanari one?

Hi! I'm making a masterlist of intersex media out there. Just checking, is that book about an intersex character or a futanari character?

Hello!

Incredible job so far! (Fate/Grand Order as a visual novel has been my dream for a long time haha)

Alright, here is some feedback so far:

• The text appears all at once every time. It would be cool if it happened progressively, the same way it does in the game.
• Sometimes, character sprites appear all at once, and it is a bit jarring. You can use the renpy transitions (like fade) to make it smoother when a sprite appears onscreen
• The FGO text box asset has a "log" and "auto" button. Since they're not functional, it could be a good idea to edit them out.
• The actual Ren'py menu buttons (Back/History/Skip/Auto/etc) are halfway through the textbox. If you can find a way to bring them up by a few pixels, they would be easier to read.
• When meeting Dr Roman (specifically when Fou appears) there is a glitch that makes two Roman sprites appear
• It might be a good idea to add some transitions to the backgrounds too (maybe moveinright would work?)

Also, not a feedback on the game, but on your itchio page: It might be a good idea to add a little description of the project? Like "this is a PC port of Fate/Grand Order." Doesn't have to be fancy, just something that informs people of what it is.

Anyways, great job. I wish you luck & strength in your project. If you ever need help with it, feel free to contact me at versedotgdotm@gmail.com , even if it's just for play testing.  (Though if you want help with the code, I'm also willing to help! I'm not a Ren'py expert, but I can help with simple stuff.)

Hello!

Your project sounds super interesting! Unfortunately, I've already been recruited in another team, so I can't join you guys ^^' 

I took the liberty of talking about your project to various writer friends though, I hope it's alright. Hopefully one of them will get back at you soon!

Best of luck :D

Writer with a knack for dialogue & introspections. Willing to write a script from scratch or to elaborate on an outline provided by someone else. Open to all genres, but I do like to include some horror tidbits here and then (at least in bad endings) so that will be what I favor. Fine with NSFW.

My portfolio.

Edit: I have since joined another team. Sorry!

Really good game on religious trauma & (queer/neurodivergent) social isolation. Also a banger technic-wise, I'm constantly in awe at the camera movements and textbox works and all. Good stuff!!

Hello! Is there english option?

I thought it was neat! Very to the point. Though I think in the future it would be cool to add explanations on each animal need- I could get by because I'd already played plenty of zoo tycoons before, but I figure a 100% new person would be taken offguard by "what does it mean if the environment gauge is down"  "what does the social gauge means" ect.

Oh I love the new update! I like seeing my animals walk around :] the addition of a tutorial was very welcome as well!

I'm eager to see more of it, then! (I've got bad faith + malviolence downloaded rn, I just need to get around reading em :3c )

oh BIG fan of the camera movements here!! It's real good :]

Cute!

Real cute! Took me quite a bit to get the hang of it, but I feel like it's really the perfect length for this sort of games- it felt challenging without being frustrating since all in all I only did three levels (even if I did each like five times).

The chara designs are all bangers, and I'm also a big fan of the music :] sadly I couldn't read much of the dialogue because I was focused on "ARGHGHGHG THEY'RE GONNA FIND ME" but what little I saw characterized everyone wonderfully.

Very enjoyable game!

my baby... my baby......

intriguing!

I AM LOSING IT

Cute and surprisingly challenging! I love the busic btw

Really good game! If I were nitpicky I'd say the UI could be improved (there are a few times when picking dialogues where I picked the opposite of what I wanted cuz the "option selected" and "option not selected" colors are too similar lol) as well as the pacing (that last bullying scene was a bit too fast-paced imo? A couple pauses could have hightened the impact of the whole scene) but overall it's an excellent job that does really cool things with rpgmaker. Love the art. Love Mr Long-leg. Tilly kill yeeeeeey :D

Oh wow that's a full book report of a review! Thank you very much, I am deeply flattered :]

As a rule I try not to weight in in analysis of my works (because I think it's lame when writers are like "THIS is the ONLY correct interpretation of my art ever, NOT ALLOWED to do anything else!!" so I vowed to never be that person) but I do want you to know you picked up on quite a handful of things I'd sprinkled here on purpose, and I'm very happy about it >:3c

As for Agneau's name, the idea I had in mind while writing was that being given the title of "Agneau" basically overwrote any identity you had prior- aka, whatever name the protag had before no longer matters. They're Agneau now. That's their name! That's who they are. That being said, it's never explicitly stated in the game, so feel free to imagine otherwise. It's free real estate!

Nods wisely. I understand everything.

ooooughghghghg.... this one punched me straight in the guts. I only did the good ending (sorry <3 I care about Asher and Kylian too much to do that to them haha) but it's a heartwrenchings tory about... anticipatory grief, or however you call what comes before death. 

I especially have to praise it because when it comes to terminal illness, it is so easy to go for the pity route; look at how sad this person is! Aren't you sad too? Isn't it terrible? But the story isn't that... cheap, if you know what I mean. Yes, what is happening is terrible. No, there are no solution. But while death is an oppressive ghost looming through the entire story, the characters aren't solely defined by it. There's the organ. There's food. There's school. Little tidbits to remind us that these characters are, well, characters, with their own lives and interests and mundane problems, not cardboard cutouts from a cancer pamphlet.

The music is baller, the art is real good (BIG fan of homie's sprite getting more and more tired as the story goes on) and it's a small detail, but I really like how the text box fades to indicate a timeskip, I thought it was very subtle and clever.

Anyways. [thumb up through tears] gay autism real. Let's play the organ brother. It's broken, and that's unfair, but we can still play. By god. We can still play.

Intriguing!