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Then good work if your only motivation is that you enjoy doing it! It's hard to find driven writers. Most want fame/money/recognition/legacy...etc Go ahead and ignore any advice and follow your own heart; you are already doing quite a lot that is impressive. Honestly, the furthest I have gone is trying to use Windsurf to teach me Ren'Py and write some code examples so I can learn point systems, flags, and if/and/or choices...etc It didn't exactly go well haha.

Let me know what model(s) youre working with. I am trying to learn more about renpy code. It was too difficult for AI to teach me +1 year ago. Maybe things really changed since then :)

I like the idea of people using AI to create their own projects like this. It shows you care about the overall quality and want to serve something you cannot entirely do on your own. That said, the advice below is solid; less people will read this because they have a bias against it AND we are entirely taking your word that the text is original, which is always going to be taken with a grain of salt because of this (and thus, on the lookout for "AI" flavors or unconsciously judging everything as slop).

Keep in mind, ANYTHING made by AI cannot be copyrighted. Honestly, I haven't seen AI art that good before... I guess I haven't been keeping up with everything that is possible. Yeah, there are still inconsistencies, unusual textures/brush strokes, and things that don't make sense when you look closer, but that's all expected. So keep in mind about people ripping some of the art files.

The menu/gui/font is polished nicely. Far better than +90% of VNs I have read. I wouldn't be surprised if AI helped you out with that too. It looks awesome.

I have 2 visual novel ideas I've been meaning to bring to life. It's just that art/coding/sound isn't my forte. Having a template, like using AI, would be an excellent start before hiring actual artists, coders, and sound designers. Look into that as a next step.

As for the story itself... It felt.... different but familiar? It definitely reads more like a novel. Some of the stuff and word choices/label names felt weird. Granted, Moontouched felt weird at first, but I warmed up to it a lot faster. As for the pacing with those 30(?) scenes... It's alright on a scene-to-scene basis. As for being inside the scene itself, some parts felt a little too rushed. It doesn't read as a Pilot or first arc... Feel free to take up more time. Add some nonesense between things. While you do add characters for that, it still feels too rushed? Just a feeling. Perhaps it is my preference. Usually, my advice is to cut all unnecessary fat and you have done that... But how about adding in more stuff, but which isn't fat? Because it just reads weird, or maybe I am suspicious because I am carrying a doubt on originality, but all the big reveals or rising tension had like... zero suspense. It was boring :/  Interesting AFTER the fact, but maybe a 25-50% on the "Surprise!" scale... Ive read fanfics and SCP files that kept me on the edge of my seat, so this was a tiny let down with how Grand its promises and even art are... So that might be one factor... audience having very high/low expectations; If you dont meet the high expectation they don't like it. You cannot control their low expectations, so they are always in a state of underwhelm instead of being invested.

Where update? :(

Please don't pressure yourself. If you hear that voice in your head telling you to speed up and apologise to your fans, tell it to go suck a lemon.

Your agency belongs to you and your enjoyment of the craft and it can wait. We will wait, too.

I know exactly how burnout is... You feel pressure to produce, to give into other's expectations, to perform being a good person who keeps his promise...etc It whips you with shame and guilt. When it is time to rest and recharge you can't, because a nervous, almost uncontrollable, part of your psyche is still whipping you for relaxing instead of being productive.

You won't feel energized if you keep whipping yourself to work. All your energy is being spent hurting yourself. You do have time and energy, but currently it's being used against you. Nobody should apologise and be defensive in every single paragraph they write for a production update.

You're right to self sabotage and not put as much energy and time into RYT as you use to if it is ruining you. Trust your unconscious even if you think it's working against you in this. It's actually protecting you right now. Probably protecting your passion or agency... If you notice any pressure at all, any amount of forcing yourself to "act" for the other's sake (audience approval or whatever) that's how your unconscious puts the breaks on. Willpower won't be enough to recover from burnout. Perhaps you wrote RYT in the beginning just because you had words to dump. Go back to that, whatever it was. Tear down those high expectations if that's what you built as an excuse to turn what you viewed as 'trash' into 'gold'. Putting out 'trash' again is how you reclaim all that energy.

For low energy I'd also recommend changing up your dopamine intake. IDK if you have too much or too little, so I will ask it in an easy to understand way... Do you think you're jerking off too much or too little? You know what you have to do.

Since I also identify as a writer, I know what going through these periods are like. I only discovered this about 2 years ago, it helps, but it isn't a cure-all if you're severely burned out. Give it a try. Be present in what you are writing... Maybe a paragraph, maybe a chapter...etc Give a clear cut off period, maybe until you feel a sense of satisfaction. Remember the feeling. Then go edge yourself. Don't finish. Instead of wanting the bliss of the orgasm, want the sense of satisfaction you felt when you were writing. You might feel sexually frustrated for the first 5 mins but I find it restores TONS of energy for me and I am back to writing day and night again without feeling like I am performing for somebody else; the process becomes the enjoyment. Edging is the only part that demands willpower though. Abstaining from porn helps a lot during those sessions, even if it makes the session longer/boring; the only thing you want to think about the feeling of satisfaction when writing. And yeah, it sucks not being able to climax for a few days while needing to also edging yourself... But I find it is worth the trouble. It gets easier in terms of willpower and feeling the sexual energy turn into motivational energy that is 100% your own agency and passion... Freeing yourself from the whip of guilt/shame is exactly what you need if that's what you've been using that to motivate yourself to produce. This little method will help, but you also need to work on the cup you choose to fill. 

In Kung Fu Panda 2, Shen was also trying to fill a cup he cannot fill. He felt that if he finally had his parent's love he will be whole/fixed/complete in some liberating or healing way. When he couldn't do that he thought conquering the whole world will heal or liberate him. Parents love... Owning wealth/land...etc these are arbitrary objects the psyche chose at random... The intense desire for healing is the illusion. The nonsense object you might be chasing... money, partner, fame...etc all promise to fill a hole, but they wont. The cup/hole is bottomless. Once you realize that, you will stop whipping yourself with guilt and shame. You were using those as energy to chase the object that promises to fill you. Once you realize you will always feel like you are missing something, and accept and grieve that, you will stop working yourself half to death because of the pressure.

Sorry for bringing weirdness into your comment section. I was worried because you're currently my fav writer who posts frequently and you were acting as if you owe us all an apology or something. You owe us nothing. We're just glad to stumble upon what you're doing. Nobody here means to work yourself into burnout, nor should you pressure yourself into that for our sakes, or for some promise of feeling like the fame/wealth/accomplishment will "fix" the hole you feel at the center of yourself.

I keep coming back to this VN every once in a long while. It's put together so well that the beauty overwhelms me and I have to just walk away every 10 minutes and calm myself down.

Can't wait for the next update. Keep up the good work.

Can't wait to read this release!

Thank you for keeping this project up. It has also helped me in some (important) ways. It is a really good VN with a vibe and mood I crave and can't seem to get it anywhere else, so I am really glad it is still being continued.

Keep up the good work. Love reading your style!

Take your time and enjoy the process. I'm really looking forward to reading what you have to offer.

I took your advice before you gave it lol.

Im criticizing the readers in this one, so I have to explain some decisions the creative team made, and how it might differ from the standard/what is considered normal practice.

More wuffs plz UwU

I dont think we'd be disappointed if you took your time to color in what you need to. Amazing progress so far! Can't wait to experience it!

Since I got -11 downvotes I think it'd be best if I explain what's going wrong. Again, not doing this in the spirit of disparaging a fellow writer, far from it! They either have poor planning skills and are showing their characters future personality traits too early, or they are suffering some kind of prefrontal cortex damage or autism, making it difficult for non neurodivergent people to follow along. 

How does one go wrong with that they are supposed to write? Well consider the medium of Visual Novels. Suppose a CGs shows a lion hunched over scratching his chin. The writer need not write that in "The feline lowers his body while fitting his paw in his chin..." And yet this is what happens. As a writer, you have to consider your reader's time and entertainment level. Cutting is an importing tool in your editor's repertoire. And if a writer can't self edit because of their ego telling them not to judge themselves, then.... You kinda have a crappy writer who is never going to be capable of improving. It's all downhill from there and doubling down any time someone gives advice.

As for entertainment, well let's go back to when they examine the watch again. The MC does an examination of it and then declares it a mechanism. So far, all it does is display "0.5%". A button exists, but none of the characters so far can interact with it. / Immediately, as a reader, this sounds like a 0.5% survival chance and the big button is supposed to be some kind of kill history? As a rational person and not someone who goes with the flow, I am constantly making assumptions. It feels great to get things right. It feels anxiety inducing to get them wrong. It feels generally uncomfortable if my expectations aren't met. It feels too boring if I can see where this is going. / Let's move on... They encounter (supposedly friendly?) people who are hostile and trying to kill them... Okay... This feels boring because I saw this coming. Can't you as the writer redo this so the foreshadowing isn't ruined? I don't really count being descriptive during the mysterious watch and thrilling confrontations as entertainment. That's too surface level. If you exclude the spelling and grammar, even a 6 year old can evoke a sense of mystery in an unknown mechanism or a thrilling confrontation with a bigger person with a weapon trying to bring an innocent smaller defenseless person harm. But we are +18. It takes more to entertain us than just making things more mysterious or making the weapons/species more dangerous. Sadly, this is the part where no one else can help you. It's up to your imagination and craftiness.

I don't know where to begin with their broken rationalizations... The whole thing is like this. Whenever the MC takes a moment away from studying or introspecting, we find him in situations he shouldnt be in. Just imagine yourself a bird looking at things unfold. It seems random. Never mind some of the internal stuff going on relies on some leaps of faith. If we go back to that watch for example, when the MC is studying it, trying to figure it out, he then declares it (not assumes it) is a mechanism. That implies there is a gimmick or more to it than what we can see. And he got it right, when just a moment ago his best guess was it was a watch with a TV screen. Now where did this divine providence come from? Does the writer say the MC suddenly remembers seeing something like this? No. Opposite in fact. These anthros might not even have their version of an Apple Watch. Which is why it is strange and confusing if the technology wherever they are appears to be advanced. Advanced enough to even give them amnesia. The whole thing feels like a cross between Hunger Games and Saw with a tech gimmick. And it tries hard to be that without first giving the proper logic/exposition. Part of the entertainment is ruined because I can see where this is going before it is even explained. Im not interested in the lie because everyone so far is murderous and I probably know what psychopaths would want to lie about. You have not given us the time to bond with whoever is "ours" in Our Shared Lie. Both together, I don't even think this VN was written for someone like me... Or for most people... Im down for some drama and discovering the shocking truth the MC has been hiding... But ya kinda made me uninterested and presumptive with the poor planning of how/when things got revealed. Take Echo for example. For someone playing it for a first time they'd never guess the MC was a murderer until the last 8/10ths of the game, perhaps it might even skip their head. It almost did with my first playthrough (Leo). Looking back it all made sense. But I never expected them to take that direction. I was always pleasantly surprised (even if it is shocking). The pay off was worth it. There is no pay off here because the writer refuses to build it up before thrusting us into danger or making us guess what the lie is. No one randomly appears on an island with killers because theyre innocent. But a reunion gone wrong due to paranormal activity? No one would guess the MC deserves that until they uncover the truth at least half way into any route. 

Maybe... But I am not interested in this project if they keep that level of writing.

Thanks for entertaining either way. As for those media, except for 2 episodes of Owl House? I did not watch. I didn't feel like commenting on something I knew nothing about. My focus was on Adastra and the concept of free will, how it ties to "controlling parents", and the morals of either blindly going against them or going with them. Especially when the writer has a history of portraying literal parents (mothers/fathers) as detrimental to their child's mental and physical well being in Echo (and now in Arches).

As for the rest of your comment... I didnt get because I can't. I never watched those... And I prefer to hold my tongue on subjects I don't know. I'm only bothering to comment because I think you can benefit from looking at things with a new perspective. Hazime made a valid (yet unpopular) point. You lacked the context to understand his point and insisted it was untrue. I gave extra context from my perspective why I think it might be true. Im not looking to argue but to hopefully clear things up and broaden your perspective. Take it or leave it after you consider all the perspectives. That's all man.

Hate to butt-in.

Like we all know: Everyone has their unique perspective and opinions. Our whole life experience gives us a way of looking at the world that is different to all the others. We cannot be arrogant and assume our perspective is truth.

What is true is what is consistent across multiple perspectives.

Hazime makes some valid points. You need to entertain some thoughts which may go against your values/beliefs, but his beliefs are quite common and rooted in evolution and utilitarian morality. Terribly bleak, but nonetheless consistent enough that it has truth to it.

My unique experience, besides learning about evolution and utilitarianism, is also psychoanalysis. This is not the first time the writer has a negative association with "parents". Chase, in the beginning of Echo, has a bad relationship with his parents. So does Leo. So does Jenna. So does Carl. My gut is telling me they associate parents, even the cosmic ones, as something negative. They may have had a bad childhood growing up in order to form such an association. But I caught onto it.

That's why I think Hazime is onto something and shouldn't be dismissed so easily. It is understandable that you have your version of reality, but others have theirs too. No ones is 100% correct. You have to give them just a little credit and also be willing to try on new perspectives to see their points. Its uncomfortable putting down your version of reality, even if it is just for a moment, but I promise you it wont harm you in the least. If anything, it broadens your horizons and you may learn something new.

Hoping for the best with your project!

The prose in this VN is pretty average. For something so beautiful, I expected more from the writing team.

A lot of things happened that didn't make sense, and no, I am not referring to the situation the characters find themselves in. I mean their emotional and rational reactions and thought processes.

I mean no offense, but is the writer (or at least the one planning the scenes) autistic? Or is the MC supposed to be autistic?

It is extremely frustrating and uncomfortable to experience the story in his POV and none of the characters are acting normally. So I have to assume the writer is the one at fault, or it was intentional because they want us to experience what it is like being in an autistic person's POV.

I recommend you take a BIG step back and put on the shoes of your characters when writing them, their motivations, and so on. This feels like a single person who doesnt know how people normally interact is playing with them like dolls.

Well pacing is just how much time you spend describing things, feelings, reaction...etc in a certain scene/moment. My advice, if a thing/feeling/reaction is important to the plot, you need to spend more time on it in order to provide all the context and make sure the reader is feeling the emotions you intended for some future plot point or scene.

It might be hard to balance pacing with storytelling properly since some scenes aren't really important to spend time on. Once again, after the party James mentions he had a bath at Dylus' house, however that never happened in your writing; he only wiped his sweat off after exercising that morning. If you can go back to that morning, all you need to do is give 1 sentence mentioning he had a bath before trying on his new clothes. Then again, he often exercises and also mentioned baths are good for healing, so if you like, you can draw a background and write some scenes. It's probably not important to the story, but it gives James an excuse to be in privacy and think about his role in the new world, so maybe readers would like that as we know what's going on inside his head. Then again, this might just be too much work for you or doesn't help with the story. You need to decide if spending more time on certain scenes will be important for the story and for the readers. As long as you are not leaving any holes (like the mysterious bath he took without us knowing) then your pacing will be fine.

I understand.

If you change your mind send me a Hi on discord, Dingo1716 or an email to thefoxyhunter@hotmail.com.

I'll just edit the dialogue lines in the ren'py code so you can  paste it into your active project's script.rpy. It'll only take me 2-3 hrs so I don't mind at all.

No need to thank or even talk to me afterwards. In a way you've helped me and I want to help you too in any way I can, so I respect your wish if you don't want it, just know I appreciate you and your work.

Aren't you that same guy that was saying the MC of Moon Touched was ugly and woke?

I'm fine with polishing things up. If I am not mistaken, he writes the script then implements it which is pretty astounding and fast! You go fast, you make mistakes... But you also have a consistent train of thought which is more important IMO as it allows you to be a better storyteller. I stopped painting on canvas because I could never mix in the right colors the next day. It is the same for my writing. Draft after draft after draft +6 times just trying to polish a chapter or string of chapters to settle a plot point neatly and tie up any loose ends or set up the right emotions for the reader... I do regret wasting so much time and effort, and in the end I still feel ashamed to show what I spent 100s of hours on. I only pass on hard advice I personally learned. Some people get polishing just right, but I see CryptidDog falling for the same perfectionist trap I struggle with, and having nothing to really show for it except taking a risk to fix something that isn't even broken.

The new Marrowyn sprite has different facial and slightly different torso proportions that it looks like another artist trying to copy his style might have drawn it. When it comes to having a variety in love interest choices, there are 4 main personality types: Melancholic, Phlegmatic, Sanguine, and Choleric. They also have recurring (archetypical-fitting) body types. Whether intentional or subconsciously influenced, Marrow fits the sanguine type, at least until the new sprite rework which introduced a touch of choleric, which totally doesnt fit his personality unless he is genuinely suffering from dysthymia and just acts all concerned. TBH emo doctor is a quirky fit, especially for a "saint" bernard.

In a little more detail, old Marrow had eyebrows at eyebrow level, but now they are much further up like some kind of receding hairline, and he lost that fluffiness at the top of his head, the larger baby-proportioned ears, and eyeglasses that seem way too small on him now, rather than everything being cutely proportionate, almost baby-like that we take sanguine types to be. Even the neck fluff has turned into a constricting boa of fat that you might associate with a villain that overindulges. I personally couldn't take it and pasted and replaced all the old sprites into the new marrowyn sprite folder. It doesnt replace every single one, but I really went that far over it.

James couldnt assume it was Benignus that will be kidnapped nor Harobes who was afraid of blood.

One of the downsides of a fast paced story is that the author has to leave out a lot of details that provide context. That is where your skills as a reader have to come into play. You need to start assuming things the author intended without getting it wrong. If done right, it can make for a good experience rather than a frustrating one, unless you hate mystery genre. Kur pulls it off, but once again you need to rely on some of your own wit. IDK if it is intentional or not, but things slip out after the fact (eg James wiped himself before meeting Dylus outside, they came in, and he got dressed for the new queen's coronation party. Only after the party does he mentioned he took a bath sometime between coming in and getting dressed. So Kur gives us some warnings that extra stuff is happening in the background, but we just dont have the time to experience it and take in the full context).

I believe the king was interested in martial arts rather than fisticuffs. The choke hold James uses is impossible to get out of if properly executed. A similar one is called rear naked choke hold, where the trick to it is ruining the balance of the person being choked. To them, they are too focused on their balance that they cant fight the choker. To a spectator it seems like theyre just sitting there taking it like a moron and wasting precious time. James wanted his job to be a martial arts tutor, so I guess he got what he wanted in the end. You just have to let it go and accept that the king fulfills the role as job-grantor in the narrative for James to like him a bit more. It's not perfectly logical, but it is great storytelling if youre willing to suspend some disbelief, as one usually ought to, coming into a world of talking animals XD

@FwdKur I'd like to fix up the spelling and grammar if you're open to it, no strings attached. Let me know if you'd like that.

Not to get too critical here, but the slower pacing in the beginning matched the mood of being locked up; I think it was artfully (and intentionally) done, was it not????

It may be hard to see this as the artist, but your older sprite work looked fine. Yes it was simplistic in a sense, but it was well executed to match (once again) the mood and voice of your writing, the some-times stale backgrounds, and the ambient yet melodic resonating songs were all woven together perfectly to set a really great mood which was matching the setting, circumstances, and scenes.

I don't know what you have planned plot-wise, but I am lacking confidence since the recent "polishing" has wiped away parts that use to fit neatly together, eg the few amazing artworks and pleasant surprises are like rewards, and the only way to make a reward feel more rewarding is to make the audience earn it/not expect it; so if we are cutting the pacing by a lot in the early parts it will impact those "wow!" moments in the future for the worse. Your fans love this VN because of those hard punches and overall harmony of pulling off the story as you have done was artfully executed. Ripping it apart to appease a perfectionist's ego won't go down well with the people who already love, respect, and support what youve made. At least wait until the end of your story to polish it up so you know your next steps and know what cracks to fill in without slipping or regretting the effort youve put in so far.

I'm loving the sounds and visuals, they really go well together. The art is bright and reminds me of my innocent youth, which was also filled with fantasies of helpful anthropomorphic animals. I'm not a "jolly" person, but I haven't always been this way; I am glad to come across this VN since I got to feel deeply happy for the first time in a long while. It has been therapeutic in a way, so thank you so much for making this VN!

Spelling and grammar could use some improvement. The sequence of events are perfect and mostly logical, the characters have solid motivations and personalities, however some moments pass much faster than others. I think your pacing needs work. This is definitely not meant to be a great work of fiction, made with great spectacle and intriguing plots, however what it succeeds at is storytelling and giving the audience a chance to perhaps relive a moment in their past in order to do/remember/wish things happened differently (the way James thinks/acts is commendable. Yes, kicking the poor Wolf's knees is not very nice... But he is a fighter, something I think all devout people are at their core, unless they are religious out of fear and just want peace in the afterlife. So yes, still a commendable character).

It's not for everyone, and some have reason to detest religion altogether since it has been used by the masses, an angry family member, the pope, or some psychotic person to justify hurting others and cover up their hatred. I'm of the mind you dont need a church, priest, or pope; your journey is between you and Christ. You can be upset with him, or depend on him at times. This VN helps to reconcile all those moments I was upset about someone dying, getting sick/hurt, losing a good job, needing to start life from scratch...etc So even if it is not a "great" VN, I am still giving it a 5 star. I needed this.

Heyya. If you read some posts by Minoh (especially the older ones) he gives some examples of logical reactions.

Taking that context, we are a powerful person who can do whatever we want to Asterion. He fears us and is very suspicious, to the point of even doubting any good intentions. For example, instead of helping him, let them take care of himself. Later on we will learn that all masters, even the kinder ones, have been strict. He thinks it improper for a master, even a kind one, to show too much sympathy.

Do not send Asterion out if you want to have good relations with him.

While Minoh takes care to think about the logical consequences of your choices, and I happen to agree that they are coherent, if you dig deeper down to your shadow, this is a very disturbing VN.

I'm a zoomer and don't particularly like this boomer version of gay portrayal. Just banging people because they happen to be gay rather than getting to know them first. Too freaking promiscuous.

And despite it all, we are still in a position of power over Asterion. I get the disgusting taste of white savior complex.

I think the story started out great. We don't get to learn more about the MC and why he remains in the labyrinth instead of going out sometimes. Surely he has a life and needs to let someone know he isn't a missing person case right?

A lot in this VN can be cut out and have no negative impact for the reader. MC and Asterion were discarded to explore new characters, but we explore them way more than MC or even the Minotaur in "Minotaur Hotel". The guests were great, but not the new character you choose or the peacock. They get a longer story than the gryphon or dragon... Sadly I see it as the mark of a bad writer if they're writing things that have no impact on the themes or story. We could easily keep them separate and both would be good stand alone, but these extra characters being heavily invested in ruins 'Minotaur' Hotel in my opinion.

This was a pretty good chapter. Caelan is pretty much untouchable now. We still have to figure out the language trick and arcane within him, or at least find a good excuse to remain mute in front of the chief who will probably try talking to him in Tigerii.

Kael, IDK if you already know this, but you have an amazing talent for writing. I know you do the art and direct the music, all of which fits so beautifully together, but no other writer comes close.

Many others use great descriptions, but none use so many thoughtful phrases. Your writing is clear, easy to absorb, and not at all out of rhythm or touch. If often takes me a while to get comfortable with new authors, quite like finding a comfortable position to sleep in, but you on the other hand make the feeling come on instantly.

There is only 1 other writer who I can read for +12 hours in a day. What's more, I absolutely love the setting and concept of this VN. Ive been a huge fan of English, Irish, Scottish, and Welsh culture. It feels homely in a profound way, as if my soul was born in those lands. The language you use, the way the character speak and interact with each other, and even some of the art/concepts make this VN feel as if I am really living among such a culture/setting. Many jokingly say Mad Max's setting is relatable to the world we are living in, but I say it with all seriousness: FBTW Really feels like a cloth of history covering my eyes, and is my perfect escape.

Im looking forward to monthly releases.

I think I am pretty done here. I don't like defending Trump because I dislike his temperament and the types of people that attracts, but I absolutely detest Kamala.

Megalomania: Noun. Obsession with the exercise of power.

Kamala was a District Attorney for San Francisco and then Attorney General. She has done terrible things during her tenure. She also applies the law differently for different groups of people. It pains me to see Americans not wanting to talk to the other side, and actors like her worsen the rift.

Take a look at a few of these youtube vids:

MDx_tGeY1nA / a2HZdUK8OF0 / GxHORNMWPmg

Trump's most megalomania moment was the "muslim" ban. In actuality, it was legally passed, and only banned travel from troubled countries dealing with ISIS/Terrorism and not countries like Indonesia or Egypt which are the largest muslim countries. A close second is pulling out of the Paris Accord, since I feel like he has no right to do that, HOWEVER if you read the details carefully, it is not enforceable. Countries like China aren't doing their part. It does nothing but put a shackle on countries that are more ambitious with their pledge. I personally think a moron wrote and signed the US' pledge. It sounds "nice" but it is nothing less than an attack on amerians prosperity when you realize all the sacrifice it takes to, for example, get net zero carbon emissions by 2050 and 50% by 2030. Since 2015 it is only down 6% and not because of a lack of trying. A big portion of that was due to covid. Youll have to force people into worse living conditions and make them eat the bugs to make progress on this front. Governments in europe and US have been bullying anyone they can. I am particularly concerned with the farmer situations. Farms in efficient countries are being closed down, but it is not like that means people can handle eating less. We will simply import it from somewhere else, that is less efficient and causes bigger environmental damage, all for the sake of virtue signaling that they reached their goal and are now clean innocent angels.

My concern with Kamala is that we have seen what happens in countries where Judges/Attorneys take control of power. There is something very fishy about someone's personality if they have taken sadistic pleasure in locking innocent people up, letting guilty people go, and being very tough on young and non violent offenders, and then still seek even higher power. She got ahead in her Attorney days by getting favors from criminals she didn't pursue, like Steven Mnuchin. Compare her rise to Donald's. Not anyone can turn a small loan of a million dollars into what he has right now. And before he even announced running,  Trump was regarded as a hero. First they made jokes about him, then they panicked and slandered him, and then tried framing him. For someone SO HATED I want to know why. Him being a Russian agent was a hoax. It got debunked. Clinton paid a Russian agent to make up fake dirt to be able to spy on him and have access to all his emails, calls, texts. They couldnt find shit and they had access to EVERYTHING. 3 year investigation went nowhere. In the mean time he was straightening out NATO, warned Germany relying on Russian gas was stupid, lowered tensions with N Korea, slowed China's aggressive fake island expansions, brought back good jobs, and negotiated better trade deals. US and the world was much better under him, and the establishment (most democrats and the rhino/lincoln project republicans) wanted him out. No wonder. He got shit done and proved it can be done. They are the swamp fearing they will be drained. That's why I think he is slandered so much. And yeah, some people eat it all up. Yes, you are right to say he has a potty mouth, I am not blind to it, nor am I blind to his shortcomings YES. I see it too!!! But I just think that is the lesser evil. And to my way of thinking, now that all these things have been debunked, he was almost assassinated, and he has nothing to gain from running, it makes me wonder that maybe all this slander is coming from evil people trying to manipulate my opinion of an effective leader.

They said he'll do bad things if he wins 2016. He didnt. Far from it. Now they say it again. I just dont believe it.... I dont have the memory of a fish. If you want to read about his exploits go right ahead. Tell me he is a racist. I still think he is by far the lesser evil than what is going on in the shadows.

Again, a matter of perspective. All I care about is deeds, not words. Trump doesnt exactly fit the bill... Unless you know little about both him and Kamala. And im not saying he is a saint either. He is someone that can win, that is actually the republican nominee so we cant vote for another.... Id love to vote in someone else who isnt a buffoon, but they dont have what it takes to win. At least try to find some humor. Biden wasnt the horse I bet on either, but I found him hilarious. I dont get the animosity towards the other camp at all. We're all trying our best to move forward and do whats best for each other. Cast your vote for who you believe will make things better, it is as simple as that.

Id love to vote for someone else... But no one else can win... As they say... It is a choice between the lesser evil, and we all have our perceptions.

Not happy with his progress on healthcare either. But in terms of economy and some foreign policy, I can get behind. Since I feel like the US is in a bad place economically, and there is a lot of tension in the globe, Id say put Trump back in and let him try to fix it his way. Biden/Harris had their chance and things got worse under them. Again, IDK if it is their fault or something more vague, like coming into office on a bad chapter... But theyre in office and things havent been great. I dont see how I can vote for it again.

I don't think trump is a megalomania. He gets criticized, shot at, and loses money. A megalomania would have quit by now and spared their ego. Kamala buys fake supporters, plugs her ears at criticism, and her networth quadrupled since she became VP. She thinks she does an amazing job when putting in minimal effort, but Trump keeps trying to push policies and goes the extra mile, as if he thinks he hasnt done enough yet. --Not because he feels like HE is missing, but because he feels like the AMERICAN PEOPLE are being cheated. He is crass, but at least he fights in our corner. Id like a strong man in that case, even if he is rude, disrespectful, and makes people hate him.

I have knowledge about Harris... I just didnt feel like posting it all. But there is a concerning amount of backtracking with her. It is no secret, she takes donations from private people and companies. She can be bought. Trump cant. He's never walked back on policy. We know what we are getting with Trump. We cant be sure what we are getting with Kamala.

Trump getting things done: Takes out ISIS in to time. Bringing back manufacturing jobs that Obama said would never come back. Lowest unemployment rate for +50 years.  +30 moths straight where more jobs opened than people looking for jobs. Many records shattered, eg +30% GDP growth in 1 year. A lot of things he did with the economy helped minority communities especially. Even before he was president, he was doing so much for them. Rosa Parks, Muhammad Ali, and even Trump were awared Ellis Island Medal together. More than that, USA was respected eg China backing off the trade war, europe engaged in better trade deals, and redistributed a lot of food to struggling communities.

I will give credit to Kamala for handling some of the medical crisis in the US. However, I am overall not satisfied with what they promised and what they delivered. IK I can't demand Biden keep his promise of finding a cure for cancer, but they could have at least tried harder, especially when everything else is going to shit, they can't get 1 thing right when they said they were going to focus on it. Instead they are buying out votes based on groups like student loan debt relief or more recently no taxing on tips, WHICH KAMALA PASSED as the tie breaking voter in the first place!

I think you are right about voting for the lesser of 2 evils. And it depends on personal preference what you find is unacceptable or acceptable. I dont want Trump as president. Not unless he shuts the fuck up, but then again it is that crass personality that won the US many trade deals and negotiations. But I dont think the US can handle any more loss... Virtue signaling isnt enough to pay the bills. When people dont know how theyre going to afford their lifestyle they get anxious. If theyre already poor they have no choice but to resort to crime. Of course we all have some sympathy for criminals because they arent fully responsible for their situation, but the radical left needs them in order to virtue signal and scapegoat the bourgeoisies, and thats all the policy I see from the democratic party... It scares me to vote for the side that wants to plunge the country into hell so that some people can feel morally good about themselves. IK feeling good about being materially rich is no life worth living either, but tell me who that harms???? The jealous. That's it.

Kamala has a seriously BAD history. She strikes me as a megalomaniac. IDK what she has done as VP. That's is the bad news... No damn impact. I want to see progress and change for the better. She hasn't shown anything. That's a red flag to me. IDK if it is the global situation, or caused by her/biden administration, but the US is facing a lot of challenges. IDK whether to attribute them as their fault or blame something wider/general.

Let's talk about Trump too. He strikes me as a crass loud mouth. I'd hate to invite him with my friends, but if it were just the 2 of us shittalking? Yeah I'm down! He lacks all the decorum and respect I expect from someone who is supposed to be president, let alone in government. However he gets things done, that I can respect. In terms of peace and economy, he is the greatest leader the US might have ever had since WW2-60's.

I dont give a damn about identity politics or the sins of our ancestors. Black card, woman card, slave owner, rich businessman, or unfaithful cheater. Show me your competency and track record when running a country. I don't hold you accountable for things youre not responsible for. I dont give you credit because you got lucky/unlucky being born to a good/bad family. Just show me can do the job and you'll get my vote.

I'm not woke and I think the MC looks ok. Not all gay people are femboys. Some, unfortunately, even look like you. I meant on the inside...

I had a feeling! Poetry is my main calling as well. You're doing everything right, so don't sweat it! (I just realized you're a one-man studio after writing my previous comment. I am so impressed! And a little ashamed to dare criticize? But we only have 1 life, and I am sure none of us want to live with regrets, so I'll speak my mind XD).

There are a lot of guidelines out there to help people write well, some of which are incompatible with each other, so you have to take any and all advice you hear with a grain of salt. I've a foundation with poetry which helps me when I construct my own fiction writing.

I try to score myself on cadence, rhythm, syllable stresses, assonance/consonance, imagery, thisness, subtext, exposition, foreshadowing...etc Some attributes are poetic, some are for a satisfying 2nd reading. If a sentence doesn't help with my story I just rip it out and write something that will. Unfortunately a perfect score is impossible; you have to just deal with lowering the quality of one or more of these attributes to raise the others.

I will show you what I meant in my previous comment about some descriptions.

"I happily chew at the bread, the smoke of the now-doused fire at the heart of our little encampment fluttering between us".

Smoke, now-doused. -- Really great use of assonance. It just glides right off the tongue and is very easy and pleasant to read.

Imagery is really nice, and I think the varied length of the words also add rustic charm.

The rhythm of that sentence is off though, like a palpitating heart. It was the first thing that I could point to and criticize, and it came after quite a while of reading perfection. Try tapping your finger for all the syllables you read and speak the capitalized syllables a little louder, they will be the stressed ones:

"to BE or NOT to BE, that IS the QUESTion"

"I chew on the crust of the bread as the smoke from the doused fire floats in the chill of our quiet camp".

"I CHEW on the CRUST of the BREAD as the SMOKE from the DOUSED FIRE FLOATS in the CHILL of our QUIET CAMP".

Imagery remains, we add a detail about the bread (though it might even be moldy if they've been walking for weeks XD) we get some consonance that also mimics the sound of crunching on a crust of bread. We keep your beautiful assonance while adding a little more to it.

I doubt there is any more we can do to spruce that sentence up. But like I said, we lose some things... All these words are short, no more than 6 letters.... A variety of length can go a long way in keeping things interesting for the eyes and mind. This version is like a lullaby. Pleasant to the ear, but might put the readers to sleep if that's all you give them. And I am sure you already have an eager audience waiting impatiently for the next build... You can't be nitpicky with absolutely everything. So far these out-of-rhythm sentences are few and far between. Otherwise everything is just -MUAH, perfection!!!

I know the smaller font size it was intended, but it is just a little too small. Had to lean in to read it. If we're talking about breaking the 4th wall, this makes us pay more attention rather than less. I think reducing the transparency might be a better option, right? Just a thought.

This is the fastest I rated a game because I am so sure of what I have experienced. 5/5 stars.

The visuals are the best in any VN I have seen so far! Nothing comes close! An EXCELLENT JOB!!!

The writing is also top notch. It matches the quality of the visuals. I love the exposition! We barely started and I already feel part of that world!

If there is anything to criticize negatively  on, it might be the slight overuse of descriptiveness; Lyrically, the extra clause spent describing some things (eg smell of a damp fire) creates a bump in the reading rhythm.

It's not to say you have Purple Prose or poor execution of Thisness, The added descriptions does serve a higher purpose with immersions and shouldn't be cut, but when I compare it to this:

The scene opens to wind whipping flurries of fresh snow in a dark, kinetic, forest, with the first text that reads "When brought to the eroding edge, most cower in awe of its expanse. Brought to their knees by its pinning and left to flee back to the surface, where the hunger is but a whisper".

When I imagine wind, the air as it brushes snow, and sounds of bending and creaking wood, I hear it in the words of the opening scene. Soft plosive sounds and gentle cracking and creaking...

"when brought... cower... knees... pinning... left to flee... back.... surface, where hunger.... whisper" You can see what I mean by the soft plosives resembling the sound of wind, and even creaking wood with the word "pinning" and its long N sound.

I have no idea if it was intentional or not, but I tip my hat to you!

You should use sound and lyrical devices more often, especially when ruining the rhythm to describing certain things with the extra clause. Your writer has the talent for it, I am sure. And even then... You don't have to listen to me. It's still wonderful work regardless of my nitpickiness. 

Let's see what else... I've noticed you put some good flaws and are already setting up multiple conflicts already. I'm sure we're ready to see what happens with the monsters, if the MC is ready, but I am very glad Anoam is making a journey to face his fears. I can see how he coddles the MC a bit too much eg lending the MC his own clothes to warm up. Like I said before, your exposition of showing and not telling is remarkable and I am already invested in his growth.

The tooltip regarding lore/worldbuilding is also neat, even if others may think it ruins the exposition. It is better than leaving us confused. It certainly cleared a lot up when meeting the Matriarch and our friend Ki. Please don't remove it or feel the need to add more info, it tells us just enough without ruining the mystery. Thank you for coding it in!!!

Some of the text is too small though, and I have a large monitor... Mind taking another look at that one scene?

My issue is he looks more feral rather than cartoonish/cute. I get the ick from him now.

Your profile pic is of the old sprite lol