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Taylor McCue

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A member registered Aug 05, 2019 · View creator page →

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I'd like it if we can keep growing and making more works. I've been stuck in a pit of depression lately and it makes it hard to get anything done or function properly. 

I do have something that I've been working on and I'm scared of the reaction I'm going to get but I will release it eventually. 

Within my games I don't really go out of my way to comfort players, it's kind of a flaw that I try to soften with art style. In your games I've had a strong feeling of hospitality and comfort at their core which I respect. Anyways please excuse this message if it's disjointed or has any weird sentences, it's been hard to write with depression. 

This was a super flawed game due to the nature of the jam limitations. I couldn't overcome those limitations. 

I'd actually been considering taking a few of my more flawed games down because I've felt they were too weak.

I am glad that this meant something to you and was worthwhile. It makes me glad I let it keep existing.

-

Btw, I've seen your work around especially yurivania. You're super amazing so it's really nice to hear from you. 

I hope you're doing well. 

Yeah, it's actually legit one of my top trans works here now. 

I just really needed a story like this at this moment in my life so thank you. 

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This is my favorite thing out of all the work's you've ever written. 

It's really beautiful.

Same as steam, just a web version. 

Hi, I am currently really overwhelmed with social situations so I've been taking a break from replying to people until I can get stable again. I read your comment though and it meant so much to me that I wanted to reply.

I wanted to be able to explain to people quickly why the healthcare system was so damaging even if it was done poorly. A lot people cannot understand the harm because to them the entire concept of months or years of your life waiting are a thought experiment. To many people I've talked to it's just a puzzle to think about, not something real.

This has been going on for decades now, where therapists get to control the lives of trans people based on policies made in the 60s. There are exceptions like consent based hormone providers but they're mostly in highly liberal places that cost far more to live in. For people who are poor and trapped where they live you can't just leave and go.

I hope one day to make a game that explains this better than I have now but I'm trying to clear the skill gap I need to do it right first. I am really sorry you're struggling in the healthcare system to get things that genuinely do not need to be a struggle to obtain. I hope some day we can have a more just healthcare system for everyone until then, I hope we can both continue to live as best as we can.

I hope you can excuse this reply if it is a mess. I struggle with mental illness and it is difficult for me to do things like this when I'm out of it.

While waiting for the bundle to launch I decided to play this. 

It was really comforting and what I needed right now. 

Thank you so much.

Thank you, it'll probably be really different from the original but I intend to post the whole thing and once when it's done. 

I hope so, I have a few games I want to finish before I die. I've been in a bad place lately but I think I'm going to be okay.

It's really cool being part of itch and getting to see others floating around doing really cool stuff and getting to meet them. 

I hope we both keep doing what we love, this space is small and we will probably intersect again. :)

Thank you so much. This is such a good comment like idk it really means a lot to me when people actually like the games I make. T_T 

That's all that you need really. Also you seem really cool and my life is a mess right now but I like the stuff you seem to be up to.

Also HEX CODE COVEN seems really cool. You seem cool. 

I'm really tired and my brain is fried but I just kind of want to be like idk hi!

It is buggy in the downloadable form as it is meant for web but if you need a downloadable version I can try to remake the game and make it downloadable. 

Thank you so much, it has a long way to go. I ended up having to post earlier than I was ready for but that's kinda the way it works sometimes. x_x

That's awesome. 

I went from hyper caring to not caring and then back to kind of caring but not in as painful a way. 

I think I've hit acceptance now. 

Thank you so much for playing.

Also I'm sorry about the delay in replying, my life is really intense at times so I get distracted.

Thank you so much for playing my game. I know that parts of it were painful but I think the process of loving you for yourself is a worthwhile thing to try to experience. 

Also I am super amazed you played this game on real gameboy hardware. The nerd in me finds that to be the coolest thing ever.

https://taylormccue.itch.io/do-i-pass

Hi, thank you so much for playing my game. 

I think you played it the right way. Arle doesn't need to suffer and I appreciate that you didn't make her suffer. I feel like if more people were like you then I wouldn't have needed to make a game like this in the first place.

(Also your game Gender Quest is really good!)

I love this so much. It was a joy to play.

Thank you, I know it's not polished but I'm glad the heart came through.

Thank you so much for this comment. This reminds me of why I really love this game. I plan on finishing it but I've been a mess. 


I desperately want to love my body that keeps trying to keep me alive no matter how upset I get and this game was kind of a love letter to that. I'm really glad that you get it, I hope you will play the full version once it's finished, whatever form it takes.

I replied!

Hi, I'm sorry about the delay. I'm a hot mess and tend to not socialize for long periods and then have bursts of socializing. I will respond today but thank you for checking in on me. 

Passing is entirely out of reach which was the point of the game. I once saw a streamer play my game and give up in frustration because they didn't think they could find a way to pass. I'm glad that I could give them that sort of experience in a gentle way.

Also I am REALLY excited about writing Fancy and she's my favorite OC but I have projects that have to be done before I can really get to work on her. I doodle her a whole lot though. But I'm getting off topic.

As far as collabs go, I'm a mess and bad at focusing and tend to self isolate. Under proper conditions, my work can be really strong but otherwise, it can just end up being a mess. I'm fine with collaborations but it would really be a question of scale and time. Right now my time is super limited and I have a lot on my plate. I'm happy to listen to an idea though if you want to email it to me or something? 

It might just be a while before I could commit to anything if I ever can but I'm totally up to hearing it. x_x

(my dev email is: steammccue@gmail.com just fyi)

Life can really suck but please keep making games, your stuff is awesome and it needs to exist.

Thank you so much, I don't really know what that meme is but I get what you mean. I guess I just kinda felt that we have a lot more technology these days but everyone is just miserable and end up feeling helpless. If knowledge is power and we have access to unlimited information why isn't it helping? We are at the peak of access to tech that's unprecedented in history and we're all just kinda flailing around with it instead.

At the same time I wanted to try to learn to love the part of my brain that's fight or flight and look at things from it's perspective as a body mindlessly trying to survive regardless of what I want. Looking at it that way there's something very kind and likable in how determined our bodies and fear responses are at trying to keep us alive. I wanted to write that kind of inarticulate hero(ine)/victim. 

Anyway, I'm at risk of ranting but thank you for feeling excited about the game. I'm glad I can put some time into it's fundamentals, the next release will be stronger? (I hope!)

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The writing in this game is really good, the mechanic of searching for coins is a little hard but overall it's an amazingly written game. 

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I am sorry about the delay in answering your question. The cyberpunk bundle had come out and I needed the money so I was afraid of rocking the boat by saying anything lest I somehow screw everything up. 

To answer your question, among my own kind being seen as a trans woman is passing to me and comfortable. Other times among cis people who view trans women as inferior it isn’t passing to me. For example when I’m the only person in a room who is asked to give pronouns or when people comment on my “tells” such as feet or height or whatever, it’s painful. 

I don’t really pass well all the time but I blend in enough that I’m usually left alone. If I could go without being misgendered again for the rest of my life I’d be happy regardless of how people see me.

The deeper part of this is that passing is not really a thing. It didn’t make it into the game due to scope and complexity but there was a character named Fancy who was planned to be included from the start. She was going to be an actual ghost who was buried as a boy by her family and was stuck haunting the world and filled with hatred. 

No matter how you look, there are systems of gendering in place that exist even after death that enforce gender on us and we don’t always have control over them. I wanted to write about that pain but I just didn’t have the skill as a developer to make it yet. 

I think passing is a painful thing because existing in society comfortably and safely is tied to it so I can’t exactly say “fuck passing it’s bullshit” and ignore it. At the same time chasing passing is ultimately self destructive for me and ends up hurting me. 

I think for me passing is being able to avoid being misgendered while being part of society and having my gender not be questioned and scrutinized. That’s what passing is to me but it’s painful and really complicated. I’m sorry this turned into a rant but I thought about your question a lot and I finally just wanted to answer even if my answer is inarticulate and flawed.

Thank you so much for playing and idk saying something kind back. The reaction this game has gotten has been kind of hard on me.

The cost of therapy, laser, and other various things that weren't covered by insurance were really difficult to deal with. Trying to explain that to cis people over and over again was just so draining. I really wanted people to be able to understand.

It sounds weird to people who have never experienced it but selling your possessions to survive can be really upsetting.  

Thank you so much. I'm always really happy when you read my rough betas, especially your feedback on saving you from yourself 2. It means a lot to me that someone appreciates my roughs.

Thank you so much. I made it in a really short timeframe so I didn't have time to do the prep work I usually like to do. I promise a full version will be out eventually. 

Seeing this on itch was awesome. I'm looking forward to the next volume.

I liked your game, sometimes I feel flooded with the pressure of positive trans narratives when my experiences were pretty awful. 

Thank you for making this.  

Thank you so much for writing this. I get a lot of hatemail for having made this game and sometimes it's really hard to keep writing after reading them. Comments like yours really help to make me feel like I can keep trying.

Whoa your game looks really impressive and your art is intimidating. Please keep me updated on shieldseer. c:

Thank you for clearing that up though it makes me feel terrible for Grace that she can't get hormones in the end. :(

Hi, I've really enjoyed the game so far but I'm having trouble convincing the pharmacist to give hormones. I know it's technically a spoiler but could you let me know what I need to say? 

My hands often hurt and clicking through menus multiple times gets really painful for me.

Thank you, good luck!

Thank you so much. I've seen one other dev (maybe 2?) who are trans floating around doing work in GBstudio. I'm glad to see someone else joining in. There's something really neat about seeing trans people exist in retro gaming stuff in a positive way so I'm really looking forward to seeing what you have planned.   Good luck!

I don't want to pressure you or anything but when you finish your game I'd be thrilled if you let me know. I'd love to have a new trans gameboy game to play.

Hi, you can email me here at: 

steammccue@gmail.com

or post more info here if you would like. I would love to chat with you sometime. Just email me and we can set up a time and format. Good luck with your upcoming game.