This game is fantastic, if you are reading this please consider giving it a chance.
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I have been resting but also working on games, it has been nice.
It's actually kind of awe inspiring how fast everyone moves, you're gone for a couple weeks and entire new games just pop up and they're really good.
This is a good time to be into queer games.
If you are on the edge about buying this, just do it.
I didn't know what to expect but this is a game I wish I'd gotten to play when I was younger.
There aren't many works you can play and then feel that they've become a part of you.
This is one of those really rare games you can say that about.
The pictures don't do it justice, the trailer doesn't do it justice.
I wish I could link to a demo or something but this is pretty much the Velvet Underground of Queer games.
Knowing that what we did will help you continue to be a game developer means so much to me.
I am grateful we both had the chance to be part of something bigger than ourselves.
I hope you'll be able to continue to make games and grow as an artist.
There's still some time left so we aren't fully done but thank you for your kind words.
Thank you for watching this.
I'm going to be honest, He Fucked The Girl Out of Me was originally going to be a 3rd part to Saving You From Yourself but I scrapped it and decided to just write more truthfully and not hide behind stuff.
Arle "selling her video games" ignored what kinda happens when just selling your video game collection isn't enough. Denise was a proto-Sally or at least cut from the same cloth of people Sally was made from.
In the original storyboards of He Fucked The Girl Out Of Me, Denise was Sally and she only mutated into Sally later on after a few rewrites.
When I first got the steam response, I cried for a long time. Each comment I got just really hurt.
This is going to sound really nerdy but I once played a game that had a game designer in it as a character. He said:
"You don't need a knife to kill a game developer, you just need to tell them their game sucks."
I think that is absolutely true to some degree. At the same time, after getting all those steam reviews and crying a whole lot, and almost quitting game dev... I eventually kinda just picked up my keyboard and tablet pen and kept making stuff.
I think now after those experiences, I'm absolutely floored when anyone says anything nice about anything I make. It blows my mind every single time.
I can't say I am immune to being told my game sucks or that mean comments don't hurt my feelings, but I still want to make games even if people think I suck.
I think part of the reason people got angry is that the game made them feel uncomfortable to wield power like that. No one wants to be the bad and I think that made people lash out.
That's kinda why I'm really shocked my most recent game didn't solicit another huge group of people who think I suck and am a terrible person and scum.
I really thought I was absolutely doomed and I just don't get it.
(Also I wanted to say one more time, thank you for being all "grrr" about that guy. I don't want to wreck anyone's careers or life but it was nice to see someone care.
When my steam stuff first came out I had a perfect 100% negative rating for a long time and it was really hard feeling like no one cared so thank you.)
This game was horrible to make because I was allowed a super limited amount of text and art for the game jam rules.
I absolutely got wrecked by those limitations and didn't do the core game justice but I can always go back and try later.
Thank you for being kind about some of my rougher stuff. I'm glad you could enjoy them.
Ending 3 is my favorite ending.
I'm still not sure about my gender fully but sometimes just knowing people are too busy living their lives to really notice makes it easier to just breathe and exist.
Anyways thank you for playing this multiple times to get all the endings.
I am 100% certain there are some people who could absolutely masturbate to this game.
Unfortunately for you, this game is probably something most people will not find sexually gratifying.
Fortunately itch has plenty of adult games, I hope you find what you are looking for.
Thank you, communicating the issues with getting gifts or having relationships was one of the hardest parts about the game to explain. I really wanted to explain those parts because it's hard for people to "get" that sort of thing through just talking.
Games are powerful because there is a doing aspect and some stuff only makes sense after you've done it.
I couldn't get everything about how it changes your relationship with people because of scale but I'm glad I could at least convey what bits I did get.
My brain is starting to melt right now since I'm really tired but the long changes are just idk, something I wanted to communicate. It's not just bad stuff happened but also a change in self.
It was a lot of work to make this game and I felt it was absolutely doomed when I made it. That no one would want to play it, so I really appreciate you caring enough to play it and say something.
Some aspects of this game would have worked better as a graphic novel or essay but at it's core it still had to be a game to communicate what I needed.
Narrative design and game writing are hard so I appreciate your kind words. Thank you for commenting.
You can't install the game on your PC in a traditional way but you can download the .gb file and play the game in any emulator that plays gameboy games.
I mainly used visual boy advance with the real colors setting turned on but web browser is a good way to experience the game too.
I am glad that it could be a healing experience for you.
Sometimes healing stuff can be really painful and that's why we avoid them.
I respect that you were able and willing to face something painful and I'm grateful you were able to get something out of it.
Thank you Nin, I really appreciated seeing your comments on every game and just being really nice to me. (I am absolutely thrilled you watched "saving you from yourself part 2, like less than 20 people have ever seen that. It's a really big deal to me.)
So idk, just thank you a lot for being so kind to me.
Thank you for playing my game to the end. I appreciated thhat you asked before posting this, you didn't have to but it was nice.
I never got to see anyone else play my game ever. To be honest, I think it would be kinda tough to be in the same room as people playing my game.
That being said, seeing parts you got confused at was data I wish I had when making this game. I could've used that to make it less confusing.
I appreciated also getting to see what choices you make. Sometimes I really wondered if people would end up loving Sally or not. I'm glad you could love her.
The strangest thing was getting to see my perspective flipped on me through someone else's eyes. Seeing your own life from a third person view is just idk, I can't explain it.
Anyways thank you for this, I hope you are okay now. Making this game was my attempt to break out of the bubble of shame and it helped a lot.
I appreciate your hard work playing this game.
I am doing a lot better now that my shame isn't that sort of deep "die with a secret shame no one can know" sorta deal.
Positivity at all costs really damaged me and made me have a lot of issues with my stuff. I still think people can have good experiences and make a good living.
I just also wanted to idk just not hurt so badly and be allowed to hurt and feel shame and all that weird emotional stuff.
I'm ranting since I'm really tired but thank you for playing my game, I'm glad you see value in it. I went through some fucked up stuff but at least it resulted in some good in the world and I'm grateful for that.
Nin, I really appreciate you going out on a limb and being like grr to this guy but no one needs to be blacklisted by anyone.
I am fully aware some people feel I suck and I don't want to destroy people's careers or anything like that just because they told me what they honestly think about how I make games.
Honestly their comments are far kinder than the response I thought this game would get. It's okay.
I'm going to be honest, I thought about your comment a lot.
Structurally, parts of the game would have made more sense as an essay, such as the first few minutes of the game. Other parts genuinely would have been better as a graphic novel.
The issue is that some parts of the game only make sense and work in the format of games. There is no spoiler key I think in itch comments. I don't want to spoiler my own game but some parts of it would only have worked in game format.
The vending machine, sample taking, 7-11 scene, the inbox, and the walk home absolutely only work in the context of games interaction. They were verb actions and only work in the medium known as "games".
This work was messy because it combined graphic novel, essay, and verb actions into a broadly based "games" format.
You are right that it absolutely right that it isn't entirely a verb based game like how puyo puyo or tetris would be. I still think it has value and other people believe that as well.
I also want to note, I'm going to keep making stuff however I feel fit. It is not your choice to determine how or what I make.
Thank you for playing my game, I know I say this a lot to people but it really shocks me that people see value in this game and cared.
Making this game was horrible but in the end it helped. I have a lot less shame now.
I am an organizer on the queer games bundle so I am exhausted right now but I am living a really good life.
I'm glad I got through a ton of bad things and got to make games afterward instead of suicide or living silently in shame for the rest of my life.
I can't say I am going to be 100% okay in the future but for now I'm okay and trying my best and grateful to be alive.
Thank you for playing my game, I hope you are doing okay too.
Hi Velvet, thank you for your kind words.
It is really great to hear from you.
I'm glad you ended up seeing a lot of value in it, I enjoy your games and work a lot too. I hope we can keep making games for a long time yet.
Thank you, I felt it was important for me to not timeskip because those parts are some of the things I'm ashamed of and I wanted to combat that shame.
Thank you for playing my game to the end and listening.
I am sorry about the delay in responding to your comment. I am an organizer on the queer games bundle so that's been my priority lately.
I didn't want to demonize the john because to be perfectly honest, he was just paying for something and getting what he agreed to. He didn't really do anything wrong it just happened he ended up with someone not mentally equipped for that.
I didn't want to demonize or disrespect anyone or view anyone not as a person. My goal wasn't to tear anyone down but just get over my shame and this game accomplished that.
It was very hard to write and led to a longer delay between my games than usual because it hurt a lot. At the of the day though, I have a lot less shame now. I can't overstate how big of a deal it is to not to live being like "I'll die with this secret.".
I'm still really exhausted so please excuse this message if it's a bit ranty but thank you for your kind words.
That was short but nice. I enjoyed it, while it was meant to be about the pandemic it could also be used as a metaphor for other things.
There is a real life set of giant pits of water near where I live called Piney Point that recently overflowed and poisoned our local water. It's radioactive and has existed long before I was born and will continue to exist long after I was born. The water levels keep rising and it has overflowed periodically killing people.
I'm pretty sure it's increasing my odds of getting cancer and other conditions. I think though the pale water seems contained it is probably impacting the surrounding area regardless of if it's talked about or not.
I hope you return to this world again. I would like to learn more about the pale water and this world.
Oh my god, you are pretty much the only person who played the epilogue! The amount of people who ever saw that epilogue is so tiny and idk it means so much that someone would look at the whole thing and give me that amount of time.
The steam comments were brutal but at the end of the day I think they toughened me up as a gamedev because now I just mindlessly release games with no expectation of kindness. Dropping that expectation helped me just let go of that stuff and freed me to focus on making games for my own sake.
I think that our medical system with therapists and confirmation letters is not actually meant to help trans people access hormones or surgery but hinder and punish them. That hasn't changed no matter how many years have passed, it's just ebbed and flowed depending on which side the pendulum is on for trans people. I wish I could say doctors and therapists are our friends and allies but I often find they would rather dominate and control and it's extremely painful to be under someone like that.
Do you ever look at a dev and go "HOW??????????" I feel that way
I feel that way looking at this game, the spritework, the controls, and the coding are all top notch. The music is good, this game has everything needed to be a classic.
I am sorry about the delay in contacting you. I was working on another gameboy game.
When I ran this version of GB studio it messed up the creation of my current game so I decided to wait on this for a bit.
If I sent you the files would you be willing to port my game for me to the pocket? I tried but it caused problems with all the GB studio versions and files I have floating around.
(Also thank you for your hard work doing this, I really am sorry I didn't reply. I just needed to focus on my next game at the time.)