病逝这一点其实是开始游戏的最前面那一段，那里的“？？？”其实就是临终的鹿哦！
何安和前男友的那一部分，其实也是有融入一部分个人经历的哈哈哈，会引起你的注意相比我们在恋爱中的表现也是比较相似的吧~
谢谢你的认真夸夸~注意到好多细节，让我感觉当初坐在电脑前急头白脸的时间都值了hhhh
老师做游戏也辛苦啦~顺产参赛真好！
卢筱应
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不得不说这是一个回复起来有些难度的评论！但能如此深挖思辨我作品试图表达的思想，还是让我感觉如获至宝。 那么我就也主要针对你提到的一些点说一下我在设计剧本时是如何考虑的吧~
首先正如你所说，我个人对于这个议题的态度并不和任何一个角色相同，非要说的话可能会更偏向周岩一些——这可能会出乎一些读者的意料。当你提出“在救助实施之前，就尝试判断‘干预’这个行为道义如何（并且还有人以此否定“实施救助”的必要性），是不应该的”的时候，其实就能反映出我们道德观上的小小差别了——毕竟如果我也这么认为，那么显然我就不会有心情在作品中针对这个议题大书特书啦~就我个人而言，我是真的会思考这个问题。
我自认是一个比较乐于助人的人，也会为“某人救下自杀者”的新闻所动容，甚至作品的原型就是我刷到的一个新闻事件构思出来的（搜“天使之吻”应该能搜的出来？）可比较奇怪的是，我在面临有自杀倾向的朋友和家人时，我说不出口希望他活下去之类的话。我的爷爷长期卧病在床。甚至最后那段时间里，他不想让我见到他憔悴的样子，不接我视频电话，也不让我进他房间，最后他也是绝食走的。我的亲人这期间会对我爷爷说各种积极的话鼓励他，让他吃饭，让他想开些——可我却一句都能没说出口过。
这个存在于我内心中的矛盾基本就是我决定写这部作品的缘由了，我试图去理解我尊敬的那些人是如何能做到奋不顾身的；并给自己的“冷漠”找一个符合逻辑的源头。随后我意识到这刚好可以作为作品中的一大冲突，就不断发散~发散，加上一些其他的小议题，便形成了现在的样子。
然后是关于自私这个词的使用。你的分析真是让我瞠目结舌~！！不得不说我完全没有想这么深入，甚至可以说是本着比较随意的态度选择了这个词语。我自己是单纯觉得，一厢情愿地行为也可以算作自私，也就是你所说的“存在私心”；这点私心在生命的重量前绝对是微不足道的，但我却偏偏受其困扰，于是便试着以“自私”为载体，将其挑明。但看完你的评论后，我又觉得自己已经被说服了，只得承认作品中的一些语句实在是言重了些——可能是写的时候沉浸在自己的情绪里了吧！
所以你会产生“画了一个靶子打”的感觉也不奇怪啦，毕竟我自己都还没有弄清楚的问题，却还是在作品中旗帜鲜明地做下定论；并揣测和我观念不同之人的心思，捏出了许文杰这个角色夸夸其谈。但果然还是很开心我这样不着边际的思考会被如此认真对待，谢谢你写下这条评论~不用担心，我觉得你这当然不算较真:P
最后与评论无关的，我想问一下你是非中文母语者嘛？👀你的语言风格让我感觉有一丢丢微妙，有点好奇，如果我猜错了别打我~~xxx
OMG phwog!! Thank you so much for playing and leaving such an incredibly detailed review! 😭 I actually have a huge confession to make... we've talked in DMs on Discord before! I mentioned I was working on a game back then. Since my Discord ID is different from my Itch handle, and I was honestly too shy and unconfident to share my project with you at the time, I kept it a secret ><!! Seeing you find my game on your own and leaving such high praise makes me unbelievably excited right now 😭!
呜呜呜非常感谢 phwog 老师的游玩和长评！😭 在这里我必须坦白一件事……其实我们之前在 Discord (DC) 上私信聊过天！我当时提过自己在做一部游戏。由于我的 DC ID 和 Itch 上的名字存在差异，加上我当时极度缺乏自信，便一直将这部作品藏在手里不敢展示 ><！！此刻看到老师亲自打通了这部作品并给出了这么高的评价，我真的很激动 😭！
Regarding the slice-of-life aspect, I really thought a lot about how to weave my message into the daily interactions when designing the script. Looking back, I might have relied a bit too much on flashbacks—but luckily, the "failboy + charismatic aniki" dynamic worked its magic! Thank god those two managed to carry the somewhat slow early pacing www. To keep things from getting boring, I also put a lot of effort into the sound effects and sprites. The bouncy sprites and the white outlines were totally inspired by 3DTL! Since both of our games have a convention scene, I was super immersed in 3DTL's amazing art direction while reading it, and I wanted to capture that same vibe. For the audio, I referenced icoe for the text-beeping sounds. Sadly, I had to cut a lot of environmental sound effects I originally planned (like crickets in the park, the wind on the street, and the claw machine's mechanical noises) due to the time crunch—even though I had already downloaded all the audio files!
在日常向剧情上，我也在设计剧本时确实考虑了很多该如何把想表达的东西融入日常剧情之中，目前来看可能有些过分依赖回忆了——但好在“废柴男孩和可靠大哥”的典型人设能发挥作用，感谢他们俩撑起了前期比较平淡的剧情www 同样为了避免平淡的处理也体现在音效和立绘上，立绘弹跳和白边的灵感完全来自于 3DTL，毕竟两边都有逛展的情节嘛！而我在阅读 3DTL 时，也因为其出色的美术演出而沉浸其中，所以就立刻联想到并拿来参考了♥。
音效方面，我有参考 一下ICOE ，添加了文字播放时的嘟嘟声；但可惜很多原本设计的场景交互音效（比如公园的蟋蟀，街道的风声，抓娃娃机的机械臂声）我因为时间原因没能加上（甚至我都下载好音频了！）
On the writing side, I actually personally prefer stories that are restrained, profound, and leave a lingering aftertaste. But once I realized I probably couldn't pull that off on my very first try at writing, I decided to just go all out, lean into the melodrama, and torture my characters—though I guess I'm not the most heartless author out there, since I still gave them a warm ending~ As for the final flashback, my undergrad major is pretty closely related to video editing (even though it's technically a literature degree, who knows how that works lol), so I really, really wanted to use some montage editing techniques for the transitions. I tried to jump between different clips based on visual similarities (even though this similarity is way more obvious in movies than in a visual novel). I applied this method to the memory fragments and the final hugging CG. In fact, that hugging CG was basically "the dipping sauce I made the whole plate of dumplings for" (a Chinese meme meaning it was the core reason I made the game!). I planned that specific sequence right from the initial outline, so I'm incredibly happy that you liked it!
剧本方面，其实我本人是很偏好那种内敛、深沉、回味悠长的质感的，但在我意识到我大概不可能第一次写作就写出那种东西后，我就决定放手一搏，大肆煽情和虐待笔下的角色——不过我想至少我还不是那种最狠心的作者，毕竟我还是以一个温暖的结局结束了这个故事的嘛~ 至于最后的闪回，可能因为我本科专业和视频剪辑的关联程度比较高（虽然它是文学学位，谁知道这是怎么运作的）我就特别特别想用一些蒙太奇手法进行转场，靠相似性在不同片段间跳转（尽管这一相似性在往往电影画面中直观可见却在游戏中“不那么明显”）我试着将这一方法运用在回忆片段和片尾的拥抱CG中，并且CG那处就是“为了一碟醋包了一盘饺子中的那盘醋”，我在大纲设计之初就以设计好了演出，很高兴能得到老师的认可！
You hit the nail on the head regarding Wolfy (Zhou Yan)! His initial setting was exactly that—a rational anchor meant to create conflict between the emotional extremes of the MC and He An, and of course, to add some fun banter to the dialogue overall. I actually realized he was getting a bit sidelined during the outlining phase, so the scene where he warns the MC in the bathroom and his conflict with He An (the cat) in the park were actually added later. But when it came to the very end, I was kind of at a loss and just had him watch from the sidelines by the bridge ><. And to be honest, I imagined a ton of backstory for the deer and the goat, but I literally never thought about what happens with the goat and the cat afterwards... well, I guess I'll just leave that to the readers' imaginations~~
针对周岩（狼）的角色定位，老师的观察非常敏锐！他的初始设定就是理性的锚点，负责在主角和何安的极端情绪之间拉扯出冲突，当然还有在全局增进对话的趣味性。我真的在大纲设计时就意识到了他似乎有些边缘化，甚至洗手间劝阻、公园里和何安（猫）的冲突都是后来补上的，但最后的时候我还是束手无策，只让他在桥边围观。 以及说来惭愧，我设想了很多鹿和羊曾经的故事，但是唯独没想过羊和猫之后的故事，well，就交给观众们自己想象吧~~
In my eyes, you are also an amazing auteur who can juggle writing, programming, and art! As for me, I actually used AI to help with a lot of the programming work. Thankfully, I had learned a bit of Ren'Py before, so I didn't let the AI completely take over my .rpy files lol. I probably need to study harder in the future to take back full control! Anyway, thank you again so much for appreciating my work. Receiving this kind of validation from a creator I admire means the world to me. I'll keep carrying this encouragement with me as I continue to create! ✨
老师在我看来也是一位优秀的，能兼顾写作、程序和美术的独立创作者！我的话，其实用AI辅助了很多程序工作，好在之前有学过Renpy，不至于让AI完全掌控了我的那些rpy文件，或许我以后需要更加努力学习来夺回更多控制权！ 总之，再次感谢老师对我的作品的认可。能得到一直仰慕的创作者的肯定，对我来说意义重大。我会继续带着这份鼓励创作下去的！✨
非常感谢老师半夜留下这么长、这么细腻的评论！🥹🥹🥹看到之后真的是开心一整天，抱歉昨天没抽出时间来回复><
其实这是我第一次尝试正式写个故事，写的时候就总感觉自己文笔好差，于是疯狂内耗😭
比如舞台区、签名墙、体育活动区，这些其实在初版大纲中都是和绘画区长度相近的单元。但感觉实在太拖沓，就狠下心全删了，只用几笔带过。
我也很头痛该如何处理描写，我原本在对话间加入了大量关于动作、神态和环境的文字，后续意识到立绘和音效完全可以承担这部分功能，便做了一波大简化（虽然还是在疯狂白描，不太会用修辞xxxx）
虽然心疼，但我想这些都是正向优化，不然想必就不会得到老师“舒适、流畅，不拖泥带水”的评价了吧~
以及回归正题！很高兴故事里的生活细节能跨越城市得到老师的认可！！创作时我脑海中浮现的完全是故乡的样貌，很多背景图直接选用了我过年回家时拍的照片www甚至人名都是刻意参考我初高中同学后，设计出的偏大众化的名字——甚至有朋友跟我说他舍友和角色重名了，计划通！（）
总之就是想赋予这个故事更多真实、平凡的生活气息，这也是我自己阅读小说时特别喜欢的一种气质！
在人物的互动和对话方面，可能因为我看过不少日本动漫，也玩过不少jrpg，所以十分偏爱那种互相吐槽、带有典型“萌”气质的互动氛围，于是试着将其复刻到了自己的角色身上。老师喜欢这种风格的话，我们应该是同道中人了吧~！
关于日常迷思的探讨，老师提到的“提炼成大道理强行卖弄说教”其实正是我极力规避的方向。我是用一种“轻拿轻放”的方式处理的：由微小的缘由自然引入，点到为止，并在观众感到反感前通过吐槽、玩笑或意外情况切断话题。这种节奏控制同样应用在了大部分回忆场景中，以避免生硬的“回忆杀”带来的割裂感。幸好奏效了，耶！o(*￣▽￣*)ブ
接着是“星星”这个意象的选取！这个必须好好说说，毕竟就靠这个点题了（bushi）
不知道老师有没看过《孤独摇滚》，其中《星座になれたら》这首歌可以说构成了我选取意象的原点：星星只要汇聚成星座，便不再孤单。只是我加上了一层“自私“的意味：独立的星星之间即使以光年相隔，却仍然被人们自顾自地用视线连接成星座。或许人与人之间的联系也是这样，需要一点小心翼翼的”自私“才不会擦肩而过。
我便紧接着构思了星野望这个动漫角色，由这位“群星的公主”在暗中连接起文杰、明浩与何安三人，让他们以各自的星光相互传递温度。
同时我借鉴了《葬送的芙丽莲》中”亡夫追忆录“的主题表达形式，以此强化主角的行动动机。安排他在向他人伸出援手的过程中，逐步增进对过去的理解，最终化解心底的某份执念（虽然这部分体现得不多）
期望这番分享不会显得过于啰嗦！收到如此用心的评论，真的忍不住想倾吐一堆想法啦……
我其实很期待你们团队的作品！今晚我也会去好好读一下哒~再次感谢阅读和评论，这对我意义重大！！❤
Hey! I’m a reader from China. I've read about a dozen Novermuck entries so far, but this one is hands down the most interesting one, so I just had to leave a comment. ^^
I love how you used horror and symbolism to explore themes of masculinity and tradition. Combined with that collage art style—something I've never seen in an FVN before—The whole thing feels so unapologetically queer in every sense of the word😉
The grotesque art style hooked me from the very start. It’s definitely not a downside; instead, it really amps up the eerie atmosphere. I mean, I never thought I’d be genuinely terrified by a hot deer's d**k popping up on the screen. ;)
The direction and presentation are top-tier. That squelchy, growth-like sound effect is still stuck in my head. And the text effects during the deciphering scene with Theo gave me goosebumps (I actually checked the code immediately after to see how you pulled that off!).
I’m also a huge sucker for the ending. I’m so glad the story wrapped up on such a warm, hopeful note. Maybe it’s "too cute" for a horror game, but I loved it! It’s obvious Hartland loves Carter deeply. Seeing him hold Carter without hesitation under the millennium fireworks, after everything they went through... that really moved me. 🥹
The side characters are great too—Theo is very cute! I really appreciate how he actually contributes to the game's themes, giving the story more layers. Also, the Theo x Lee ship? So cute!
If I had to nitpick one thing, it might be the text pauses/wait tags? I'm not sure why, but I often found myself clicking to the next line before the current sentence finished displaying. Maybe reducing the pauses at the start of sentences would make the reading flow a bit smoother?
I also had a small idea/suggestion regarding the tape decoding scene with Theo: When I played, I saw the full sentence appear with a "beep" sound playing right at the start. Then Theo mentions the beep happened "somewhere" in the previous sentence... but dude, I heard every beep at the start! It made me think: if there were a voice track (or just mumbled gibberish) with the beep inserted exactly where the missing word is in the audio, that scene would be even more immersive! (Hardcore players might even be able to decode it early that way, who knows~ well!)
Anyway, I must reiterate: this is such a creative piece. I’ve already shared it with my friends. Sorry for the long ramble, hope this makes your day! ^^
Yeah, I totally get what you mean!! Remus's whole storyline was just so heartbreaking, I couldn't stop thinking about it after finishing the game, but damn, it was so well-written too. I think in his mind, he probably did feel sorry for the previous victims, but he must have also convinced himself he was helping them achieve desires they couldn't in reality. I mean, in a way, those guys didn't escape the void like the MC did—they obviously found fulfillment there, right?
And BTW, I totally agree on the Abbet brothers theory, especially since Kieran saw that photo of two guys in Abbet's office back in Chapter 1. I'd totally read any fanfic exploring Abbet and Remus's interactions in the real world, or Remus interacting with the MCs!