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That was a lot of brain scratching fu

Thank you. Not just for this game, but for keeping on. Alex'll figure it out.. I have hope I will too. Her dad reminds me of my Grandma. It's been a rough time.. but I'm an adult now. And I get to make the choice all my own.

Ever just want to share what's on your mind? Just look for a connection...

And letting a little out seems plausible, but in reality there's no holding back the flow, all aside your own fear? And then it turns into a mental gymnastic akin to crumpling up a ball of paper.

“This is stupid,” you may say, “I'm being stupid. As if there's anything I could or have said that'll change anything. As if I even care what I have to say.” Well.. do you? Any reply to this is rhetorical and predictable. It's besides the point. What are you /really/ looking for? Is it something you want? Or maybe don't want? Was there ever anything at all? What a tangled web we weave ourselves and call our lives.

We can't see the start, or the end. Always the observer, always the doer. But observer of our own doing? That's a complicated one.. Life can't live inside a box. But it can end in one. A favorite quote of mine.. There aren't any bad people, or good people. There's just people. And sometimes people do good things, and sometimes people do bad things. Why though? The why's come after. Or before. Or maybe even during. See, this is a complicated one. No one is ever ready.

Ever had a thought in your head, one you just play back, over and over? And you think about that thought, and make thoughts about the thoughts, and all you can think to ask is why? Here's a thought for one. Ever think about how this is it.. this is all there is? What lies beyond, what could have been, what could be different? Anything. But also quite possibly nothing. This is it. This is what we have. And forward... that hasn't happened yet. There's planning, sure, but planning isn't what occurs. The future is never the present, it'll never be the present. It's just a... thing; to look at from across the hall and wonder. The past isn't much better. Time, or rather, our thoughts or rationale about time are deceiving.

What we had, what we have, what we'll do... It all launches us out of the current event. In the past, things happened. I hurt. Was hurt, did the hurting, whatever.. it is what it is. It is what was. And often, it is still there. What does it mean? (What do I mean?) That's up to you, my friend. That's up to me. It all goes away. It's all a reminder. Think of a you where it's not. What do you think that is like? To never know what moment is now or then, what is that like? To never consider where you came from or where you're going, what is that like? We are always here; until we're not. It's a blessing of ignorance to never see the end. It can be the same to step forward from where you were, and say, “This is where I am now.”

Wasn't sure where on the internet to post this. Or even why. Maybe because there's a part of me howling for a form of expression.

If what I write here stirs something in you, I welcome responses. Maybe it'll help you, maybe it'll help me.

Regardless, thanks for reading. If this isn't the place to post it, again, I'm not sure where is.