itch.io

That's a good way to frame the story snippets.

Sounds great.  I am trying to resolve the thematic disconnect of moving aimlessly/randomly around between destinations.  It's as if my character has a bad case of Attention Deficit Disorder.  But, I love the game.  Just faced my first lead.  He was a fellow Nomad who was hired by the Old Republic to protect my current target.  I served with him in the Old Republic's Navy before he committed a heinous crime and blamed it on me resulting in me being court martialed, imprisoned, and exiled by my home village.  Reluctantly, to gain favor, I let him live after I fantasized about exacting my revenge definitively.

Can you choose to take two (or more) Destination rolls at the same destination BEFORE moving back to an Explore roll?  Seems a little strange to only be able to do a single destination roll at each destination before having to move on to the next exploration and then the next destination.  Why not just stay in one destination for a while?  Same question but for Exploration rolls.

Let's goooo!

I like the new Ranks!  Much improved, don't you think?  Although "minor" seems a little underwhelming.  Consider Risky, Unsafe, Perilous, Unpleasant, Hazardous, Dangerous, Precarious, Menacing, Threatening, Treacherous, Distressing, Injurious, Nasty, Bad, Horrible, Terrible, Wretched, Ominous, Gloomy, Foreboding.  Trying to come up with a thematic word that also fits nicely on the shorter, easier end of the Rank scale.  Or leave it as Minor if you like that most.  

Page 27 - Quest Ranks - Simple/Standard/Major/Dire - consider - are these to indicate mainly the length/difficulty/complexity of a quest?  If so, Dire may not be the best fit (as much as I like the way it sounds) since it doesn't fit on a continuum with the other ranks because it's meaning is more about a high level of urgency or seriousness rather than distance or duration or difficulty.  Consider words like epic, legendary, monstrous, apocalyptic.  Consider revamping the names of the four ranks into levels of pain or suffering or otherwise tie the names of the ranks into the overall theme.

Pg 10 - Recommended Companions - "and many community-created..." - consider "and many other community-created..."

Page 7 - Optional Difficulty Setting - "However, if your prefer..." - spelling - you

pg 7 - A toolbox, not a cage - "whatever best support the way..." - tense - supports

wow! just wow!

Thanks! I can’t wait to see.  You have a really great supplement here!  So imaginative and useful.  The only other “big” thing you should consider is  creating a more detailed TOC.  There is sooo much detail in here that it would be nice to have a detailed list of everything in order to find it quickly. Even though it is already organized nicely, it will be easy to forget all that is contained in this tome.  Consider it.

Build or Barricade Move box - spelling of 'aand'

I am not finding very much to fix.  I still haven't finished the document.  I was reading the Adventure Reveal more closely and I am still struggling with the Clarify the Text Move and when to use it and how to apply the results.  But that is probably just me.  I did notice a spacing error in the Clarify the Text Move box between Strong Hit and Weak Hit.

pg 95 - Focus Oracle - description of the oracle phrasing.  Clarification.

pg 81 - look at spacing between results in Lasting Consequences table.

pg 72 (1.8) - Strange Landmarks - #17 - phrasing - consider: "A free-standing rusted iron door/doorway"

pg 79 - Encounter Context table - #1 - phrasing - consider: "A hidden threat attacks you."  *Also, you use periods after this table's results but not before this (as of yet).

pg 68 (1.8) - Weather Shift table -#7/8 - Could combine these since it depends on what is happening at the moment.  This would free up a number for a new result.

I love the new Adventure Reveal version.  It is starting to click.

Awesome!

I hope I am not over-burdening you.  I am looking at the Overland Hazards section right now.  These tables seem to work best as somewhat abstract inspirations and not direct suggestions since you might not be on a cliff or in a tunnel or in the hills or swamp, etc. when you roll on them, but I just wanted to run them by you as entries that caused me to be confused by their meaning.  

pg 75 - Human Threat Signs - #7 - A crude trap 'left reset' - clarification

pg 75 - Signs of Ambush - "Indications the 'ground' may be unsafe." - is this the correct subtitle for this table?  consider: "Indications that someone or something has been waiting for you for some reason."

pg 75 - Signs of Stalking - #10 - "Something pacing you 'in forest line'. clarification. How to clearly make this different than #11?

pg 76 - Natural Hazards - #17 -"Rapid fog swallow" - consider: "Rapidly engulfed by dense fog" or "Thick fog rapidly rolls in"

pg 76 - Terrain Dangers - #16 - "tunnel collapse in hills" - very specific situation.  what if you aren't in the hills?  Maybe I just don't completely understand how to use these tables' roll results during a Travel Move other than for somewhat loose application/inspiration.

pg 76 - Terrain Dangers - #20 - "Sudden ravine split". clarification. is this an earthquake?

Ok.  Good to know.  I will check that out as well.

I was going to ask for more Adventure Reveal info.  I find the idea fascinating but can't exactly grok the method.

That's not necessary but if you insist...Thank you! 

R. Pickard

pg 66 Signs of the Undercity table - #6 what is a "rat line" and can they "behave oddly"?  Are they ropes that are moving/swinging more than they should, or something like that?

pg 65 - Rumors & Whispers - #2 "or something wearing him."  - unclear meaning.

pg 65 - Rumors & Whispers - #16 - "no ransom." - does this mean there was no ransom demanded or the town can't afford the ransom demanded?

Pg 50 - check the numbering of the Quick Room Generator tables.  Seem to be missing table #3.  Also, do you roll on table #1 twice (first for size, and then a second time for shape?)

They must like you and/or your work. 

pg 37 - Advancement and Growth - second paragraph - "Each improvement 'reflect' not heroism..." - should be 'reflects'.

Pg 26 - City Rest and Recovery - last word "consquence" - spelling.

Pg 23 - 2nd para - "sparce" - correct spelling is "sparse"

Pg 24 - Find a Location Move box - Miss - "acces" - spelling

I am glad to help.

Amazing content.  Take a look at how the pages are numbered.  Ideally for print, the page numbers should alternate left-right-left-right so that they are always on the outside corner of the book as you flip through it.

You, my friend, are absolutely the best!  Thanks!  I am loving the game btw.

nice recovery.  😉 it’s pretty obviously an error.  Just wondering what it was supposed to be.