After reading the devlog, I became curious about this game. So, I immediately downloaded and played it since I relate a lot to the feelings expressed in the log. Needless to say, I am currently in the place of this game, too. I've been tired and want to quit everything, don't want to post anything "incorrect" or "bad" (fanart for instance in this case) and every time I begin to create I think about views, numbers, my account growing or shrinking.
Anyway, my point is (so I don't ramble too much), this game really hit hard. I've been wanting to give up for a long time now and I think this is exactly what I needed. I've never reached the point in the game, I wouldn't call myself a 'survivor' in this instance, but I struggle with the feeling every day.The part with 'motivation/desire' slowly fading in the form of a younger version really hit home.
I apologize I keep going, but as a fellow game dev and writer (maybe author, too, I don't know right now) thank you for this game. I may even keep replaying it. The 'just hit post' really struck me. It really is that easy ... Yet, still scary... The rejection, comments, everything or worse... Being ignored all together. But if this is how you felt writing it, and this is how I feel right now, then there really are people out there who will understand huh? People out there that, even though they don't know me or my face or 'me' (IRL), I hope my work can impact them too.
At the end of the day, it really is hard to create for myself too. Once I lost my mom, it grew harder. I write darker stories, ones that may scare people or not leave them "happy" in the end. It's a reason I struggle to become a novelist like I went to school for. I understand. If anything, I can't stand repeated happy endings. This game was raw, deep and real about how this feels. I feel more things and would ramble all day if I kept going. But they are all appreciation for this piece. Even though I am still hurting, this raised some of that pain off of me.
I hope I didn't say anything too much, my intention isn't any form of "trauma dumping" and I apologize if it's too much. I will edit it if requested (by the dev). Thank u, Meiri. Let's keep creating together and be lighthouses among the sea of those who feel like we do. Let's guide their ships into land and provide them a home. Even if it's a small, small island for a small amount of time.
(Also, yes, I did cry. Even though I didn't think I would for something that reflected my mindset so well.)
