i just played this and i am obsessed. it was very Real, but also cozy and fun. the character writing is immaculate and the incorporation of the polyamory is very well done!!
note: my feelings on this arent as detailed as id like them to be bc i rushed through the game in an hour, roughly, in between some other things (it was a run where i romanced everyone). so theres a decent chance i leave some other comments later.
anyway. i keep wanting to open my mouth and say "and i related to - the most" but the problem is i cant say that bc i related to them all. so hard. theyre all such realistic depictions of people trying to be kind in a fucked up fascist system that it rends my heart. also theyre all hot as shit but we will get to that.
the polyamory was really well written and incorporated. im poly but not particularly experienced in relationships, so take me with a grain of salt, but i rlly like how the mechanics naturally lead to me thinking about how i balance time with everyone and tend to their individual needs. in particular, the characterization shined. everyone had the same reasons to be concerned and stressed, but different reactions to the concern and stress, and it therefore felt real. and near the end, (day 24) i had romanced the pilot and the rebel, but not the modder. so i took them out thrifting, discovered their relationship with fashion, and got to flirt. which was nice. then, a few days later, in commons, rebel and pilot commented on their outfit. i found that just really nice. <- compersion fiend.
on characters: the one who immediately caught my heart was the pilot. bc. of Course. i live in a rural area with a lot of old union long haul truckers so i know like a hundred guys like him, im gay enough (bigender she/he) that i wanted to climb him like a tree, and his handling of the situation is Exactly how would i think about it. he thinks hes a privileged coward, he knows he is lucky to be able to escape, and he knows his form of escape has put him in a position of power over three incredibly vulnerable people, and he desperately does not want to hurt anyone. his dialogue always reads with a clean awareness that this situation is terrifying, and i like how his tone changes as he gets to know everyone. hes still considerate, but hes more himself - because he knows he can be. he reads as incredibly emotionally intelligent tbh and it makes him feel the most like the player character.
his personality shines bright and, funnily enough, it really makes me realize how well hes written as an older guy. his affection for a stupid old comedy film that he finds undyingly hilarious, and surely was funnier back when he was young really gets me. his sense of contradicting confidence and also a bigger fear of death than the other two also charms me. he knows his shit and knows he will make it but damn is he scared. the scene where he mentions the small possibility of dying in the ion field(? i dont remember the exact wording, sorry) and says that it stopped being a concern before he was born got me. was it a concern when his parents were young? did his father tell him about it? mmm. Gets Me. and the start of his romance was really nice. the apologies after he pinned you (hot) didnt just read embarrassed, but genuinely guilty, clearly worried he had made you feel pressured. and then kissing him after, was, Well, Pleasant. in general he is just. So Nice.
the rebel was my first romance bc i naturally went to hang out with her and she went "do you want to make out" and i was like A-HA. YES! you get it!! exactly!! and everything that came after was equally fun. shes very happy to be alive, and i feel like any other story would take that to mean she doesnt take things seriously, but i like how it doesnt go that route. she is the happiest to be alive AND therefore, she values life the most. in every situation her rage reads as responsibility with nowhere to go. her rage towards fascism and the way she is the most social/community oriented in the crew going hand in hand are amazing to me. than scene at the first stop where she very subtly signals to a large amount of people that shes with them in resistance, and then the scene with the baked treats. the vendor refusing to take her money (if memory serves?) pangs my heart. it reads like "i know i wont see you again. let me leave you with this." which. ough.
her personality is electric and her taste in movies being exclusively Fascist Killer Simulator Drama. is Fearfully Me. cmon. nothing gives the rush like watching a president die.. the conversations about wanting to go back but knowing it would be the worst choice, and, more than that - secretly not wanting to, secretly wanting to just live - ough. the survivors guilt of a girl that is Incredibly Happy to be here.. i adore her. like. shes always been a rebel Because she enjoys being alive. shes a rebel for the moments of shared understanding in the markets, in the treats, in the touch and hold of another. oh, i also like how its clear she wants to make out and cuddle at first bc she likes intimacy and touch. thats it. and that is not at all seen as a bad thing. sick and tired of monogamy culture where all romance has to be because Your Soulss Divinely Interlinked. fuck that noise. i am a mammal who likes touch, let me experience it!! damn you!!
and. ough. lowers my body into the marsh. The Modder.. i have so many thoughts and no room for them. i like how the modders introversion stays as a genuine personality trait, local modder actually just likes the quiet thank you. and i like how it isnt linked to some secret insecurity or self hatred. the modder does have their insecurities but it clearly isnt hatred of the self, yknow? its just dysphoria for when their body doesnt listen to them. and the reveal that the modders prosthetics and eye were always a choice - ie something they did to themselves from the start. i think i literally made a pog face i was like OH i knew we were REAL but i didnt know we were REAL LIKE THAT. for context - i am physically disabled irl. cerebral palsy right hemiplegia (essentially: my right limbs are partially paralyzed) and just. AUGH. the themes of disability and transness and autonomy interlinking make me FERALLL. people very often feel icky about the nonbinary cyborg/shapeshifter/non-human trope and i do get it but DAMN. its so real. the metaphor never stops giving.
if im reading things right, the modder is trans for the same reason they have prosthetics: this is their body. and they want ultimate control and autonomy over it. they will not live a life they are unhappy with, they will not live in a body they are unhappy with. i feel like their introversion can be misread as a lack of self confidence until the thrifting scene. and then its like Oh. the modder is VERY happy and confident. the modder being the only one who isnt drowning in guilt on the journey; i like that. people often associate guilt and shame with morality but like. shrug. the modder is still a kind and considerate person. even if they arent the most social. its really good.
and the thing that makes this game for me are the small moments. the moments where your crewmates talk to old friends, the pilot bartering with the women over metal scraps, the rebel looking sad but genuinely thankful after she gets her snacks, the rebel and the modder going at each other in a game of oligarchy while you and pilot snuggle. but my favorite has to be the music event. i didnt even get to listen to it for that long, again, rushing - but. augh. the impact and small joy. those orchestra players can not save the world, for all intense and purposes, you could be angry at them for what - still going like normal under a fucking fascist regime?? but. shrug. i cant. because its art, its instruments from across the system, being offered for free, just because they can. just because its kind. often times alt people (and society in general) will tend to position orchestra music (or anything lyricless) as like. morally neutral. incapable of meaning anything. boring. so having all three of the characters implicitly understand the value and impact in it is really cool, and the song itself was beautiful!!
anyway. my Thoughts :). i am ABSOLUTELY buying the full version btw.