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this is really beautiful! ive been having it saved to play later for some time, and im not dissapointed. 

ill be real, at first, the narrative didnt get me but then it suddenly clicked and i was like. Oh Yeah. Fearfully this Fucks. 2 lovers left in the wreckage of a prophet of a new age, the sun saint. both of them being magically bound to him beyond words. especially the scene wherein dantes suddenly peaking in on their private interaction and neither of them even care.. its really telling and well written. salvi taking dante breaking his bond as far more of a profound violation than its existence. the constrast between both of them humanizing him deeply by calling him "idiot" and also treating him like a god, letting him watch in on their privacy and just.. accepting it. sorry thats still insane to me.

i always love stories about the people left behind the "main character". the disciples to the grand prophet. and just the detail of like oh yeah theyre killing their saint because they know he has a spine and hes more useful to them as a story than a person with will and motive. kill the soul. thats the type of political drama i LIVE FOR. yesss... 

i took a peek at your patreon, and im very excited for the remake!! i particuraly ADORE divinas new design. i feel like you were slightly limited here by making them a customizable mc but she looks so fucking cool now. i can feel the exhaustion in her eyes.. auwugh. (also HELL YEAH give salvi stupid little glasses. i live for that shit)

one last thing: my polyamory loving heart adores the salvi/dante/divina dynamic pre canon. its so funny. it reminds me of that one tumblr post that goes like "polyamorous triad but its 2 people trying to coax the third one into the relationship like a stray cat. they both get the third guy in bed and theyre like okok he seems calm.. this is nice he should know we love him. while the third guy is like wow i am in love. sucks that they secretly hate me and want to kill me with hammers for no reason." its great. salvi never change you freak. 

this was a delightful read oh my God. it was so fast but.. enrapturing for every second it remained. i especially love the darksouls section - i got to the end of the dialogue just as the music was fading out and i was on the last set of stairs and the near silence and ambiance got genuinely scary. not even just jumpy scary - i was getting slightly hysterical for a second. i felt - as a bitch who loves the out of bounds and runs into every wall for secret paths - like i was somewhere i was not supposed to be. and that this world would consume me. 

and before that, even!! johnnys ramblings really hit me as someone who loves infodumping. i felt very vindicated by the owl finally admitting "Fuck yes." like yeahh boi. it Fucks.

as well, as a transmasc boygirl with (possible) bpd and autism the hooters section like. Hit Me. Hard. just.. every subtle implication of it is sickeningly good. johnnys relationship with the women in his life being tangled up with his own repressed transness. like. of course!! he was never going to confront liv!! this was an internal journey. the fact that the hooters has a lot of sudden camera changes and you get given food you dont fucking want and its loud and intense and overstimulating. Reads So Very Autism. 2 me. thats also how i feel in resturaunts.

i am someone who simultaneously gets very defensive and uncomfortable around egg narratives, like, in general. i am always slightly uncomfortable with how most trans people around me talk about the concept of being an egg. (not a condemnation, its different for everyone and my beef is a personal issue) but the conversation between jenny and johnny is a really beautiful read on it, i think.  like-

i get uncomfortable with the popular narrative that you should be pushy with an egg, and i think the prime directive is a fucking stupid idea, and im not even sure i believe in the concept of a "true gender", if that makes sense. i think transness needs to be abt autonomy above all else. but also. i am someone who once uttered the sentence "i truly believe i killed that little girl, and its ok, because she wouldnt have survived anyway." about myself pre-transition. so jennys dialogue and rage hits me, so soo hard.

(plus her being based off of a cartoon character and linked with hooters, a very.. obvious symbol of like. simplyifing women Compels me. as a trans guy who spent years longing for this similiarly simplified Man (tm). and it also strained my relationships with men)

i especially appreciate johnnys reaction to. Every implication of jenny. im so used to depictions of transness where the protag either meets the realization with completely noncomplicated relief or abject terror. what about apathy and concern. what about who is this self in my skin. is this me? it fucks.

on jenny, i get her. a lot. ive wanted to claw out of my own skin my whole life. not in a self destructive way but in a!! baby i want to live way!! and i dont blame johnny either!! is johnny morally required to submit to this apotheosis? i dont think so. but is jenny wrong either? for wanting to live?

(it reminds of the video essay "6 shapes of god" by cj the x. theres a section somewhere in the middle where he talks thoroughly abt the difference between revelation and destruction, and talks at the point that despite how overwhelming it feels, revelation is something that comes from within. it has really stuck with me, even as an atheist.)

the trio of big johnny, johnny, and jenny also feel.. especially pertinent to bpd experiences. that urge to destroy the self. ive actually had a history of thinking about running away/changing my name that has also been linked with my suicidality and transition thoughts, sometimes. that urge to escape. to change drastically. jenny represents that for me and.. its so hard to tell whether or not shes dangerous sometimes. (big johnny reminds me of depression episodes, and normal johnny makes me think of how often i have to forcibly mellow and even myself to out balance my insane highs and lows.)

her choice to shoot the owl and big johnny at the end, and johnnys acceptance of it.. it feels kind of like a manic episode. kill your depression and your reason, and i will run the show. but at the same time - i cant tell if its really manic, if its a bad ending. for years now, ive been considering changing therapists because sure - shes sweet and listens but she never pushes me to change at all. sorry if thats tmi but it felt relevant. jenny asks the question "is the thing keeping us safe holding us back? at what point does a comfort object become a burden? are we really above water, or are we just drowning slower?" without. saying any of those words. that is some incredibly smooth metaphor and subtext. and like. Oh My Fuck jenny. yeah.

just: at what point does inner exploration and healing without drastic change become a cycle? is the calm and reasonable voice, the one who speaks with a dizzying mix of every therapist youve ever heard, all in one vaguely approving choir - your friend? when do we have to change or we'll die?

uhm anyway. i adored this game and theres also a good chance im going to binge all of siobhans work and percys too. thank you so much for making this!!

OGH STUFF IS HAPPENING.

i havent even completed the game yet but shit i needed to comment bc like. im crying rn. not much but DAMN this game hits like a bullet. ive been in moriahs shoes in the past, the depressed friend whos just a little bit fragile and still doesnt really know how to belong in a group. and seeing all the others try their best to be caring and stuff. augh. my hearttt