While it seems to end with Mona (probably intentionally) there's a set of glitches around the scene. There is no 'back out' option if you don't have the money/uniform, waving at her loops back around to the same options with her ignoring you. If you run out of coins and try to use more during her scene then it loops back around to the original intro text but doesn't change the actual scene, and still traps you. Otherwise it's a good start. Needs a lot of proofreading from someone whose native language is english (or is at least fluent in it) because the grammar is all over the place. But that's a common problem because nobody wants to actually get things proofread it seems - and no this isn't throwing shade at you specifically.

The hotkey for zoom is CTRL for out and SPACE for in. Being used to things like shooters, those aren't terribly uncomfortable keys for me, but I dunno your tastes. Maybe it's uncomfortable for you. 

Don't use the 'first one's free' model and you won't get compared to a drug dealer, it's exactly how they get you hooked on things that will destroy your life. =/

If I didn't have to pay for food and housing, fuck yeah I would. Besides, a lot of games on Itch (at least the adult ones) are free with requests for donation beyond that.

It's nice that you're extrapolating information with at least some accuracy, but you missed what was said. Your model so far makes it look like you are greedy - this isn't to say you are, but you're using the model of a drug dealer here - which would work if you had a finished product, but you don't - in that you're giving people a small taste for free, just enough to try and hook us, but not enough to truly expose us to what it'd be like. Not that your game is likely to destroy lives, unlike Genshin Impact, but it's a decent enough comparison. 'First one's free, pay for the rest' is a common trope used in a lot of very sketchy and very unhealthy business models, both in gaming and outside of it.

That would be okay if there *was* a full version of the game already. Lack of a full version or even enough of a game to constitute a first chapter on the other hand makes it seem like you're overly greedy. =/ Especially given there's a planned second set of girls which, judging by your current business model, you have every intention of charging extra for. You haven't even completed the first set of characters and you're trying to put out a 'demo' for an incomplete game. Demos are for when the game is done. 

This sounds a lot like it's supposed to be Monmusu Quest, honestly, and that's like the first VN I ever looked at lmao. So I'm super down for another Monmusu Quest. Side note, the menu music is awesome and I want a ten hour version of it yesterday.