itch.io

A wonderful ride beginning, middle, and end.

The closing sequence was spectacularly composed, and a great effort was made to bring it to a very cinematic end. I enjoyed the music sequences and think they added to the entire VN feeling like it was lovingly crafted.

I think the protagonist is unlikeable–but in all the intentional ways. The author has a clear vision of what it was like to be Ash, to be that age where you were confident in the things you said, while not truly knowing. And that too resonates with me in all the ways that displeases knowing what I was like at that age. So regarding that matter, I think the character is an earnest and very thoughtfully rendered.

There’s also an amazing amount of thought put into the presentation of VN. Of note, the conversation with Mike where all we see is their reflections but slightly distorted as a great metaphor for the things left unsaid between them.

I applaud how the theme was worked into the medium as a whole.

Bravo!

I enjoyed my journey with these charming characters. There’s a lot of great chemistry among them. As well, there’s a wonderfully crafted setting for them with intriguing lore woven into it. Definitely feels like there’s lots world-building spread throughout to be uncovered.

I found your approach to the theme very satisfying. I do wonder if there could be a stronger push on the leitmotif of ‘listening to tales of old to help guide you.’ Admittedly, that might be hard to do for a gamejam story. Structure-wise I believe you sort of have room for it, since each generation we encounter have their own stories.

The stage direction of the character sprites were outstanding. It really helped tie a lot of the scenes together. I think your choices of sprites fit your characters especially well.

Terrific world-building; a great cast; fantastic use of the medium; I enjoyed my time in your story!

A beautiful story that explores what feels like a long ago era. The characters are well written and very thought out.

The artwork is fantastic and conveys their emotions wonderfully.

I do think some of the initial time skipping could have stronger tells, a different font maybe specific screen transition, however, by the final scene it feels a lot more natural.

I think you’re on a pretty good path, I see the building blocks there.

And it is quite a tightrope to write nuance into characters in a very short amount of time. Especially when trying to weave in subtext.

Despite the hitches from the engine, that sequence of thoughts I think is well earned and shows off your creativity, and it’s the thing I’ll remember most about your entry.

The game drops you into an adventure game like environment and I'm not sure that was intended--looks neat though in that it makes it feel like a play and you're looking behind the scene. Also Ehrain's rig/skeleton breaks frequently in very alarming ways.

The mood is lovely and you can feel that in the atmosphere. The rapport between the characters feels casual enough with something deeper beneath. The writing is clipped in a way that make following the progression difficult for me, Moments where there should be additional lines between them.

The sequence of inner-dialogue is very creative and especially well done.

A deeply dark and terrifying scenario.

I enjoyed the world building of the settings and peripheral details like that of the MRE and its contents--never really considered that the 'treats' were their own light in the darkness.

The story can use a stronger inciting incident to cause the characters to break out of their established ways. I think there's a lot that can be done with the premise that can pull several components together. I do really enjoy framing falling into each other like being their own kind of gravity.

An incredibly atmospheric journey that often reads like poetry. The mystery is alluring and I enjoyed reading it.

We catch glimpses of what the protagonist is thinking, but it was a little hard to grasp how he feels most of the time.

The act 2 imagery is evocative and accompanied by lovely prose.

Thank you for the continued interest! There's a few CGs that are in progress, and the writing is 90% complete for the Alpha.

Thank you for the interest! It's being reworked from the ground up from the original files, so it looks and plays nothing like the first version.

Geni's and details will be there in the final pass. Though they'll probably end up serving more of a role as character ref for the CGs.

I'm planning on making three main romance branches, for now, the number may increase.

I realized the tools I was using was not as conducive to the way I write, so I'm going to refactor it with something else... then I got a little backed up with some other work. I'll be coming back to it.