I like this game, not bad for a first attempt! As the others said, it is a little buggy and could really use at least a save function to overcome it. Not something too complicated, something that just tracks what upgrades you got and just spawns you at the statue. You've put in a lot of stuff to do and it's hard to get around to it all without some random bug crashing the game (I got hit by a goblin when I had beanbag-chair-size breasts and it crashed).
Also I recognize your name from The Overflowing Bra and you wrote one of my favorite stories. :D