itch.io

Great idea, but oh so brief. The layout is perfect, the writing to the point. But this is barely a sketch of a mission.

Evocative art and writing. An interesting mission, or rather, a dream-like vision of a mission. Not particularly cyberpunk, in my opinion. It reminded me more of Itras By than Cy_Borg. The miniature depth crawl is a nice idea.

Of the submissions I have seen so far, this one makes the best use of the theme "Love 2.0" by placing the companion squarely in the centre of the scenario. However, being unfamiliar with the rules, I find it very hard to rate.

Clear and well-structured layout. Could do with a map, though. The writing is not always as clear as the layout. I stumbled over a few odd choices of words. You use several expressions, such as "bioroids" and "analytical clones," which are never explained. I don't understand "boot from LAN & destroy ice-breaker," and I am not sure what Dr. Bahi is working on, either.

So, my recommendation would be: try to make your writing easier to understand, and either (briefly) explain the concepts, or link it to some published system that explains them.

Interesting premise and location. The layout isn't great, though. I found the monotype font with random paragraph breaks hard to read. I am unfamiliar with CBR+PNK, but I assume the clocks/tracks are an important asset. However, I found them a bit distracting. Better layout might help. One small nitpick: having robots (which can be hacked) transfer data between air-gapped systems is somewhat self-defeating.

Very clean layout, but not a lot of substance. The map, in particular, could do with some work. As a player, I would not be very hyped about a quest for loot boxes.

I am not a fan of the side quest. It seems to be completely unrelated to the main quest, and appears to be the only way the player characters can find out about the police raid, which is essential information. In effect, the player characters are getting punished for focusing on the job.

Great ASCII art. I really appreciate the page numbers, which make reading a trifold much easier without printing. The writing is good and concise, the premise interesting. However, I think it is a stretch to say you used optional themes. A few drones don't make a drone war and while a corporation is being fooled, the plan is not being prepared by the players. One remark with regard to "realism": you can't replace a fresh corpse with a corpse that is several hours old without anyone noticing. The brother's body would need to be kept alive.

Starforged and Dead Planet also contain derelict generators.

Thanks.

The link to the Design Primer seems to be dead.