itch.io

Really enjoyed this one - great concept and flow!

Really good flow on this one, and I liked the inversion of the vampire being the prey!

Really liked the writing here, was a smooth read and very economical on the word count.

I do think it could do with having a bit clearer connection to the theme, but otherwise, really strong!

Really enjoyed this one - loved the twist at the end very Ta- I mean Dao.

Only comment really is that I think breaking up the paragraphs would make this much easier to read, and there should probably be some sort of denotation of break between the negotiations and combat!

Really enjoyed this one - loved the twist at the end very Ta- I mean Dao.

Only comment really is that I think breaking up the paragraphs would make this much easier to read, and there should probably be some sort of denotation of break between the negotiations and combat!

I enjoyed the story, thanks for sharing! A few comments for feedback:

- Try to focus on a single narrative thread. There's the history of the planet, the invasion and the destruction of the caste system all in less than 1k.

- Paragraphs could do with being a bit shorter for easier reading

- Some more descriptions could have done a lot to get us engaged with the story!

Enjoyed the story, thanks for sharing!