itch.io

can you make it downloadable? i wanna play it while in my car

📝 Proofreading & Style Feedback

Your writing already carries the introspective, sensory tone that works really well in IF. I just have a few light polish suggestions to enhance flow and cohesion. The issues are both in the opening sequence  

• “You decided to spend this short time…” → should be: “You decide to spend this short time…”
• “Thanks to them, for a few days, you’re off work.” Consider replacing “them” with “the holidays” for clarity. It reads more naturally and avoids potential ambiguity in a nonlinear or branching context.

can you add more gender neutral clothing options? i know they say that any gender can wear any color but i feel like the masculine clothes are very femboy like

don’t worry. i will wait FOREVER for this game if i have to

If there aren’t any more demo updates in the future then I’m afraid this may harm your business more than anything. Since it’s still a prototype/playtest that will take a long time to complete, it won’t gain much traction. I recommend rather than a monthly subscription, try tips instead where people can pay you if they want to support the in development process. you’ll make $$ when the game fully releases but a monthly subscription to see small updates? It’s iffy. Probably won’t do well in the long run. Try ko-fi. 

(genuine advice from a business/marketing pov)

I honestly think you could settle for dialog tags/tone indicators rather than symbols, you have too much. I get symbols for flirt and friendly options but adding in even more symbols for tone of voice gets complicated and confusing.

sorry i accidentally gave you a gmail that isnt linked to this account so i deleted the comment. i DO have an email but it’s my personal one so id rather not post it publicly. my discord, however, is 1junebug

there’s a few coding errors that occur when i select one choice but the next passage doesn’t match up to the choice i picked. i’m not sure how to explain it but i took some screenshots of the errors.

here’s the first error i encounter.

when i choose option #1 (mc being bigger) the passage is linked to option #2 (mc being smaller) instead and vice versa like below:

images above are shown in order of the options.

+ there’s more but i’m not sure if it’ll fit in this individual comment

likely laziness/no motivation to complete axel's route. 

 in their 2022 devlog, the author said axel's route is delayed because they're working on another project [it's been two years tho...} + they have no motivation to finish axel's route. then without any communication, the author edited the project description in september 2023 saying that axel's route is cancelled.

thank you! i really love the currently chapters so far ^^

do you think maybe you can add tone indicators if possible? i cant tell when im making my character be flirty then when i check my stats i realize ive been flirting with people i didn't mean to this whole time </3

I want to say that I really love how engaging the writing is! I look forward to future chapters. I’ve read, edited, etc… a lot of works: interactive and non-interactive, and yours really stands out to me! I find your book (specifically) to be really unique. Not only is the punctuation, grammar, and vocabulary exquisite… but the characterization, foreshadowing, plot, and story telling are, too! If you don’t already have plans to put a price on the final version, I truly believe you should consider it. It’s even better considering you’re a humble person/author, which we don’t see much of those these days… Based on the comments, it’s fair to say that you did such a great job at pulling in readers! I recommend that everyone should read this at least once. 

is there an explanation between the different paths? (the sun, dusk, moon, & whatever the other options are…) i dont wanna pick to follow a path i know nothing about 

before i buy this, i looked at the walkthrough and what exactly is the “speakeasy” end? more specifically, is the speakeasy end a good end, neutral end, tragic end, etc

hi, just checking in. you said a while ago you were going to update it in august…will this still be updated?

it’s unfortunate that axels route was cancelled i really saw potential there

update: its grown on me 

i dont see the appeal of Ethan x Theo at all

As always, you never disappoint. Also.. the template works fine on mobile, at least for me. it just has to be landscape rather than portrait mode. 

wait i noticed theres a new “update” but is there no new chapter? is it just a revamp

how many ch. will full game be if the demo is only 2

i really like it so far

it says in the game description, recently updated i think. 

“

The game features:

2 Love interests - each with their own struggles to discover.  (Axels route has been cancelled.) “

this game is a still work in progress. it’s not dropped, don’t worry. i follow the author on tumblr, and they post updates, q&as, and snippets of the characters frequently. 

++ interactive fiction is a long process, as they need to write, code and check for mistakes/errors; most interactive fiction authors work solo, so this may be the cause for delays in updates. sorry for the long text. have a good day !!! 

i’m back in your comments again bc i still love this game !!! good luck with the progress, everything looks good and intriguing so far. 

on another note: don’t let the ppl rushing u stress u out. let yourself relax

cancelled 

i cant scroll down on mobile

interesting concept, i like it. is this still being updated?

NO WAY IT ENDED LIKE TBAT PLS HAVE MERXY THIS IS SO GOOD