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📝 Proofreading & Style Feedback

Your writing already carries the introspective, sensory tone that works really well in IF. I just have a few light polish suggestions to enhance flow and cohesion. The issues are both in the opening sequence  

  • “You decided to spend this short time…” → should be: “You decide to spend this short time…”
  • “Thanks to them, for a few days, you’re off work.” Consider replacing “them” with “the holidays” for clarity. It reads more naturally and avoids potential ambiguity in a nonlinear or branching context.

Thank you! I’ll take care of that after I fix another bug a player reported. Sorry for the late reply. It's just a bit harder for me to respond to comments compared to the in-game bug reporting tool, which is why I built it.

Oh, also, send me an email (octiwriter@gmail.com) so I can send you a copy of one of my games.