The characters were a joy to read and the worldbuilding you did here really made the scene, and greater universe, feel lived in. Good work!
HonestOmelette
Creator of
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I admit the theme hasn't been obvious, but I tried to fit it in several places without pointing out. The jaw isn't a weapon, but it's "close enough." Vittoro isn't a Battle Brother, but he is "close enough." Jack isn't a fighter, but by the end he's "close enough." That's on me for not making it more obvious, and I'll completely understand if my rating takes a hit for it.
I greatly enjoyed the character and tone the story had, but I can't rightly say I can tell what happened in the story. The wording and flow when the Professor began seeing and affecting the robots' database became confusing, and the ending was confusing as well. I understood it was a trap, but then what caused the Professor to be incarcerated again? And what happened because of the trap? It feels like you needed a higher word count to really get to where you wanted the story to be, but it is a good story and I'd like to see more of the Professor in other stories! You really gave the impression of a character who's got a long history and he definitely has potential for more!
Overall good work, but the ending did confuse me- and it might just be a me thing
