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A member registered Jan 17, 2016 · View creator page →

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Very good and warm.

(2 edits)

The story has a great concept and is fun to play, but many endings did not seem to have a return to beginning option? I could just press the refresh button on my browser, though I do wonder if it was not implemented or it's my browser again. It seems that only the restart ending has a restart "button", and all the deletion endings have no built-in way to restart. I personally would have preferred that they both have a built-in restart, just with different flavour text.

A fine example of never judging a book by its cover. I clicked on this thinking it would be another emotional and poetic tale, only to find surreal comedy. Decent writing, though regrettably short.

Some endings are sweet, and the magic is mundane yet powerful, made with sincere love. Some endings are more sinister, and the magic used is hinted to be more controlling and malicious. Some are more ambiguous. Well done.

I really like the presentation of the story. I like how the player should be picking the same choice over and over again until the flashback and the present collide. The text started overloaded with details on the scenery in the backdrop, yet the texts for the two people have significant less details about their location and more simplistic as a whole, so we get to focus on them. Both time and space are presented in this V-shape, in this funnel leading to the end. And I like how when you read the end, the rest of the text blurs, leaving on the the final line clear. Nice work.

Very polished work. Very visceral. I had to stop after the second play due to nausea and resume it two days later, and I gotta say that you executed it the way it was intended to be, definitely fits raw and unfettered. But damn, it is visceral. It's well-made.

The flickering red light and the choice of ambiant sounds are pretty good. It gives this story a very urban feel. There's a lot of details that provided the ambiance, the neon light, the greasy mirror, the descriptions of the body... And despite the abundance of details, there are so many ambiguities that makes the world feel more real and wide.

And then I notice that you made the gender of the other person switch between plays. I got masculine the first two runs and feminine on the third. I'm a big fan of texts that change between plays, I've used it myself in an older work too.

Overall, great work!

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Thank you, it should be fixed now!

This is excellent, and I feel a lot of resonance with the story. Good game!