I think you did an amazing job capturing each characters voice without over doing it. I could clearly tell who was speaking just by their tone and word choice. Nice work!
Greedfeed
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It was a very digestible story, however I felt more like a setup than a complete story in and of itself (a HUGE struggle to overcome with these writing tasks). Overall great job however!
As an aside, a parent should never answer a child's question with because! It will only encourage them to do the same back! (only joking)
Really well done story! Not a lot of notes for me on this one, it had a good steady plot progression and was an engaging read. Obviously with the one page format it leaves pieces to the imagination that I would have liked filled in with the set up but that’s only because the rest pulled me in so much!
Great read! I absolutely love the perspective shift! With the size constraints it’s tough but I think you pulled it off well. Obviously would have loved to see that dynamic go on a bit more, but there is something there about how abrupt the chaos tone shifts back to calmness I enjoyed. It perfectly captures a car crash. It’s all noise and scary one second, and the next your just laying on the road (or at least that was my experience hahaha).


