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i have an idea, a shop. which sells consumables and upgrades. the shop could be located inside the barrel.
the health restoring consumables could be anything from soda, to an eraser, to a razor or scissors.
for the upgrades my ideas are
faster reload/pumping:allows you to reload all guns faster as well as pump the shotgun faster. "you've got opposable thumbs, why don't you use them?"
piercing shots:shots pierce through a certain amount of enemies "maybe these bullets would be more effective if they weren't made out of styrofoam"
armor:allows you to take an extra hit "stylish!"
stronger bat:bat does more damage and knocks back enemies "aluminum. how robust!"
and those are my ideas. hope you like them.
"i know you're filled with anger, perhaps even full of hate"
"but i couldn't find a way to stop this tragic fate"
"it may make you curse the system, make you cry out why?"
"why is it so expensive to see someone die?"
some lyrics i came up with
"sorry to say this, but theres nothing i can do"
"we did everything we could but we still couldn't pull them through"
"so that's what happened, i'm sorry for your loss"
"but i think i hear some yelling, that might be from my boss"
"wish i could help you, i know how much it hurts."
"and even more so, since he was uninsured"
"i know it's awful, but because he was so ill"
"you have to pay all of his medical bills"