Wow, thanks for being willing to go through the story again. I'd like to pay particular attention to fleshing Molly out. I feel like she is the flattest character. I want her to have more personality, but still be a main/player character that those going through the expanded version can project themselves onto.
If I do end up expanding this visual novel, I think I might redo the sprites and try to get more custom artwork. I am honestly not fond of using the free sprites and whatnot. They're AMAZING resources, but if I'm going to go into depth on a story, I like to have fairly original visuals as well. What do you think about that? I'd love to hear your input.