DCS is a damn simulator dude, don't compare it to it. Both great games just not comparable.
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The wingman does do
something. After the entire level you'll see he might have shot down 1-2 or maybe even 3 aircraft! i know its not a lot, but its mainly about you ay? Because you used alot of missiles if you were out of em! ;P
I agree with some things, but the three kinds of different missiles is something i really like about it, they all have a different way of how to use them. And for me, the settings do save so i guess you have multiple maps with data or something. ;P
Flares are already in the game - H
If u press Leftclick there is a cannon.
I don't know about the other stuff, but hope you will play some more and understand it a bit more!