itch.io

thanks for the feedback, this was my first time using affinity, so I haven’t quite mastered the settings I need to make it for exporting. 

I love your writing. This adventure is very compelling. This is a minor nitpick, but It would be interesting if you labeled whether each of the rumors was true or false. The lack of page numbers made the reading order difficult to discern at first. 

Your art style is a lot of fun, but your headings, especially on pages 3 and 4, are quite difficult to read. Using the tides to change locations is a very novel idea. I love it!

Affinity 3. Everything you need to know can be found with the power of google. I am also new to layout and design, so if I can do it, so can you!

I don’t know about other people, but I understood that the idol was supposed to lose its power if it was moved.

You nailed the old school aesthetic. I absolutely adore the premise; a castle falling backwards in time, *chef's kiss*. This is going in my next campaign. 

The font is pretty small. I had to zoom to 200% to comfortably read it. Mentioning that an NPC can be hired as a porter feels very old school. The salt and slugs feel very fun. 

Nice to meet somebody else who uses magic to move consciousnesses around. 

Fantastic background info. It feels very grounded in mythology. I like that you included the Chinese zodiac in case readers are not familiar. The success criteria feel very difficult to achieve. 

Some very fun encounters. I loved how you tried to sneak Crocus-diles and orc-hids by us. Great puns. I may very well steal the toolmaking totem for my home game. Overall, a great entry. 

Absolutely fantastic design. It legitimately looks like a scan of an old TTRPG book. 

Unique character creation mechanics. Wish there was a little more "meat" to the adventure. 

I love the premise and immediate twist to the adventure. 

I think you have something cool here. You've designed this in such a way that it's supposed to be a booklet, but your intro and hooks would be on the back cover. You've got a bunch of really cool stuff here, but the font has made it very difficult to read. 

Love the cyberpunk approach to this entry. 

I like that you have presented multiple ways to frame and run this adventure. 

The Cover and map are awesome. Your pages of text are a dramatically different size from your cover and map when I view them in my PDF viewer.  This isn't a problem on a computer cause I can zoom in, but may be a problem when printed? If you are going to encourage wandering monsters, you may want to provide a table of wandering mosters that fits the theme.  I really like the fact that you offer ways to avoid combat encounters. 

I love the overall premise. Your layout is good, and I liked you way of calling out GM only information. I don't think your clues actually point to the PCs in the direction you want them to go. 

I love the more modern feel of this adventure.  I love that you don't provide a specific setting, but one the GM wants to choose. I have seen several RPGs recently say something like "set this in a city you are familiar with", so I could definitely see setting it in my hometown or something.

Thanks! It really just came to me. The name was so evocative. 

Thanks for the feedback. It is not numenera; this is my own custom setting that I am writing for the cypher system.  Thanks for the feedback on the paragraphs. I will consider that. 

As someone who has spent a lot of time looking at mythology, I always loved the stories of deals with death, games to avoid death, and other such concepts. I think you put a really fun spin on that trope here. 

Absolutely love the art style. You did a great job of communicating a complete adventure very succinctly. I love the skeleton pirates. 

On a screen, I think your cursive fonts are a bit hard to read. I don't know that they could be easily read when pritned on a5 pages. 

Nice overall look. It would be nice if it was all in one document rather than 3 separate PNGs. Very evocative descriptions, I can visualize the changing of the Beastmen. Very well laid out. 

I really like the vibe of the handwritten font on grid paper, but a printer friendly version might be nice. The gridlines may make this difficult to read for people with vision problems. Overall, I love this adventure. I can see running this as a completely serious or extremely comedic style adventure, so that's fun. Artwork is on point; I knew exactly what everything was supposed to be. 

This cover is awesome. I think overall you did a nice job. The theme is interesting, and felt overall cohesive. 

Love this. I think you are spot on with hitting the theme of the Jam. I really want to run this. 

Very concise. I may very well run this adventure for my players. 

Thanks! Cypher modules can be pretty light, and honestly a lot of my length came from the custom monsters. I know a lot of people don't play cypher, so I tried to keep the module mostly self-contained instead of making people cross reference with the books. 

I  love the concept of the adventure. The fact that you start in media res with the players finding the tomb is great. 

I love that your intro/tagline leads into your title. That's very old school. Overall seems like a fun adventure. 

Ooh. I love your introduction. It sets a good mood.  Love the moon mechanic because it means that the same group playing this adventure multiple times will have different experiences. I love the real-life inspiration and appreciate the references. 

Just looking at it, you made it feel like an old school adventure. After reading it, the vibe matches the theme pretty well. 

Absolutely love your theme. You had me hooked from the first sentence. Well Done!

lol. I remember one of the judges talking about adventures that try to say something. Memory’s decline is something many people fear, and I wanted to imagine what people in a fantasy world would do to stave it off. 

Hello Everyone,

This is my first crack at writing an adventure that's not just for my local gaming group. Hope it's good enough.