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These are very useful criticisms and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Personally, I wish I could have given it more polish in terms of writing but I didn't have nearly the level of robust support as I did on ByD which was good for learning on my end. I do agree with most of these critiques and I will be giving this thing some time to cook before I swing out with something more finished. 

My intention was actually to explore vore as an artistic concept, so the fact that apparently its made people genuinely interface with the interest even if they're not into it or don't even understand it is actually EXTREMELY high praise in my eyes and something I was not expecting coming out of it. Thanks for the wonderful words, Bowser~ I hope to deliver soon!

This is VERY useful thank you! I am planning on giving it another pass for the post-jam update so these things are going to be very useful with fixing some of these issues which can probably be done with a few more adjustments. The dream sequence was going to have actual presentation, but time was too much and I had to scrap the vision for the moment but I do intend on actually turning it into something. Plus, your suggestions are very interesting and I might play around with them in the rewrites. Thanks so much for taking the time to review this with such comprehensive detail. Posts like this are probably the most useful! Thanks for playing and hope to deliver on a more polished final product. ^^

Hi!

So, I noticed there may be a small issue with starting the game up. If you look in the files, you'll see another copy of the game in there which I think is because Github desktop wrote it as such. If your game isn't starting, then try deleting this and see if it works. A bit frustrating but so long as it's playable that's all I care about now. I will be having to make some adjustments in the future though.

great comment gatr but i wanted address some misconceptions you had about the story, namely the fact that its a profound VN rich with metaphor. there are no metaphors or themes in this vn because thats for 8th grade book reports. this is a story about funny plants and cool facts about them.

yeah making the ending feel earned was my biggest hurdle i think and yeah there were def some limitations of artwork i could not quite get over but thank you for playing :3

this right here. dunno why but it may help if youre having issues xp

The chevron butterflyfish (Chaetodon trifascialis), also known as chevroned butterflyfish, triangulate butterflyfish or V-lined butterflyfish, is a species of marine ray-finned fish, a butterflyfish belonging to the family Chaetodontidae. It has a wide Indo-Pacific distribution.

Chevron butterflyfish should not be confused with melon butterflyfish (Chaetodon trifasciatus), three-striped butterflyfish (Chaetodon tricinctus), or three-banded butterflyfish (Chaetodon robustus).

Currently, it's just waiting on art. The entire script for Chapter 2 is complete and I did recently get a job, so I'm hoping to fund it more by getting more artists on board but it's been extremely expensive as is. I am working on something else in the meantime at least that shouldn't require much funds but yeah unfortunately, I don't know. I don't want the project to be cancelled so I'll try my hardest but we've seen how much my promises mean xp... I'm sorry I don't know what to do.

Thank you! I'm really hoping to get some stuff out soon! But the art style's been pretty hard to make work. I'm tryna find alternative sources of revenue to help with this project but things are complicated y'know? But thanks!

Omg same that's why it's always been a passion project to make something like this. NGE's probably one of my biggest creative inspirations and I'm so happy the aesthetic and everything fits.

You can just say in comments! I don't mind much and it's helpful. Thank u! :>

Portraits aren't in yet. We're gonna try for them in Chapter 2 and they're only gonna be in feral shots.

Thank you! Yeah I'm considering posting our storyboards and stuff to keep things up to date.

Android should be uploaded by now I believe?

never describe your snot production around me ever again

 I'm sorry it seemed the novel didn't strike a chord with you. Was excited to see your reaction to it a lot but... Yeah. Anyways, to address some of the issues, I really don't know how else I could've framed it. It was mostly supposed to be a retrospective on a life snuffed out and Memento being present as Mori dies I think would've had some logistical issues like does everyone get a reaper that appears before you before you die or other stuff that I think would've overcomplicated the kind of story I wanted to convey. And, I would like clarification on the second part about Mori's second death being less poignant? I don't understand this section because Mori died once, and psychopomps are beings that take the spirit to the after. It is a "second death" in some sense but it was more the erasure of Mori's soul and consciousness. His first death the erasure of his physical being, the second himself. 

As for the last part, Memento and Mori never had a genuine romantic relationship like long time partners would. It was, a fleeting moment of intimacy between a being that's experiencing it for the first time and a man who has longed for someone to be close with. It wasn't really a romance in the conventional sense, but a romantic experience that they simply shared. 

Shut up, dad.

Yes, thank you! Arcadia intentionally used a limited color pallette and I think it came across very well. The red and black was a pretty strikign color scheme and I'm happy how they turned out. Arcadia deserves all the props for the presentation being as it is. As for the last part, to me at least, it was kind of the point that Memento's confidence in his purpose wavered by the end because he experienced true humanity for the first time. Or at least, that's my intent, and the audience's interpretation I believe is more important but that's what I was going for. But I'm very flattered you enjoyed the deeper examinations. Thanks a bunch!

I'm glad you enjoyed the art at least but this is pretty rough to hear, honestly.  Although, I think authorial intent is usually irrelevant when engaging with media in my opinion, I do want to address some of these criticisms mostly to assess my own skills as a writer and trying to see what went wrong. It seems that the main issue is that... It was sentimental and it felt cheap? Sentiment not Sentimentality? You don't really reference this again so I'm not sure what you mean by this but I'll address everything here...

The first point of Mori feeling detached I do not understand. Being detached from his corpse and showing Memento his past don't seem correlated? Mori had confirmation of eternal happiness which informed his decision to at least help Memento. If anything, he's even more detached from his body because at that point he doesn't really care about the physical world anymore as he, in his mind, believes there's paradise after. It was a choice born of progressing the plot, but I don't see how it's forced or unearned?

And, no, I have never read Discord nor have to made any intentional references to this Neil Gaiman. The framing of a play is more slightly inspired by the performance from Bojack Horseman's View From Halfway Down though it was given a more classical, theatrical aesthetic. As for Memento, I can see how some of his characterization can be inconsistent. Memento understands stuff like a flower or a sunset as bringing people happiness, but Mori describes a more visceral kind of happiness to Memento. Memento's view on it is surface level and it's Mori's lived experience that shows him the deeper nuance to it.

As for Stella, I dont' see where the parallel to Memento comes from, personally. She's intended to show Mori's decaying connections with people and how he pushed people away. She was a dear friend to Mori, showing Memento was sorrow is while alluding to Mori's own past, and also them leaving on the worst of terms with no real resolution making Mori more regretful and truly alone by the end. The rest of that section of the criticism I don't understand?  "She's perhaps being given an excessive response but the burden of caring is sorta with the living, not the deceased" I don't know what this means? She's... Caring for Mori? And she said things that might've been inappropriate at the time? That was the intention of that scene, that Stella had good intentions but it's clear she didn't truly understand. So... I don't know what to make of this section?

Also, Memento doesn't necessarily fawn over Mori. He's just naturally affectionate and kind, as he mentions that he allows dog lovers to give him belly rubs. He wants to be approachable and comforting and the exaggerated expressions are part of that. There was no real way to make their romance a typical one, so I was aiming for Memento actually experiencing these emotions for the first time and it being overwhelming as opposed to it being a legitimate romantic relationship. As Mori put it, it was one last performance together, and he simply wanted to be with someone at least.  Though, caps lock is a mistake on my part and I'll def refrain from using it in the future. It does not seem to be a popular choice. The chase scene was also one I greatly enjoyed writing, but I never really felt the need to make it more than that. I added a moment of foreshadowing this aspect of Memento in the beginning and I think that was appropriate as this is a shorter form visual novel and I feel having three separate instances of it would've reduced the impact of when Memento fully showcases that aspect of his personality. He IS death and he WILL take Mori and, to me, that scene lasted as long as it needed to. It was intended to be longer, but I don't think we needed more explanation from Mori of him running or Memento telling him it's futile.

Mori wanting a dog was more so just a little thing that connected to his loneliness and the desire for someone close to him. And Memento selecting Mori is outright said as just a 'random thing'. Memento says he could've chosen the last one or the last one but he decided this one for no other real reason. Sometimes, we just decide it's time to do something. Memento says reapers evolve over time and it came to the point where Memento had acquired enough human experience to begin questioning things. Mori just so happened to be the person he asked first. I don't think there really needs to be a deeper meaning to his selection. This is Memento's first time actually engaging and trying to understand a person for an elongated period of time. He has seen endless people, but this time he's witnessing it for himself and it's what pushes him over the edge. He's actually feeling a growing human connection for the first time in millions of years.

I hope I did not come across as rude here, but I've seen a lot of criticism that I don't understand or are answered in the text and it's been somewhat frustrating. Maybe I could have made my points more overt but I worry about making things unsubtle which Purkka mentioned was an issue that it wasn't subtle so... I don't know.  I do have a thin skin when it comes to criticism so I guess I just need to toughen up in that regard, but I did want to say SOMETHING at least because some of these criticisms I find hard to understand. Caps lock being bad? Yeah I get that. Maybe I could've made Memento's familiarity a bit more consistent? Maybe showed he does understand some of it, but only at a surface level. But stuff like Memento selecting Mori feeling forced or Stella being a foil to Memento I just... Don't understand. It's disappointing to hear that the sentiment of the story felt unearned. Things being unearned and forced seem like the hallmark of amateur writing so I'm pretty ashamed of myself that it came across that way. I guess I'll just have to do better in the future but thanks for reading and I'm glad you at least enjoyed parts of it.

Fun fact: Originally, his name was going to be Morty so it wasn't exactly Memento Mori. However, upon reading it, Arcadia told me VEHEMENTLY that we should not do that. 

Yes, it's entirely because of Rick & Morty.

I'm flattered by your reaction! And I honestly think your project should be much closer in the race. I for one think the voice acting is wonderful and out of all the people who used the default wolf sprite, I think the one you made fits the absolute best and the character written as well as the performance my lovely okapi buddy Akiba lends to him makes this iteration of the wolf character the one I remember the most. So, c'mon, I think you should pat yourself on the back too man! ^^ Tbh, out of every other project, your guys' one was the one that I thought would give us the biggest run for out money. And yes, please check out After Passion, it's really great with amazing voice acting a very dynamic character movement that brings the whole thing to life!

Yis! I should get a cry counter 'cause a lotta people are crying lmao. Very happy it managed to strike a chord with peeps.

If you think this is good I'm very hopeful you'll love what's to come. Pushing through art is really a struggle but yeah hoping it should be soon! Sorry for the wait lmao

thank youuu EEE... just really trying to get something out at least but yeah

i think i might need to rush a few things just to get things out but im glad people are supportive at least aaa

i hope so! its taking a bit of a new direction and i have a lot of ideas i really wanna execute on. i think i just need to find a way to get things out consistently

thank youuuu sorry!!! aaa

Is it deleted? It shouldn't be? Here's a link to it if you need.

https://twitter.com/MachinaLutrisVN/media

Yis. I haven't posted yet but I did hire a new art director and we're working through the whole thing. It has been a process but he's very good I can't wait to show off what he's done.

I actually have no idea where to put it but I still have them I guess. Could upload it somewhere.

I actually really enjoyed this VN quite a lot which is surprising because I haven't been playing too many furry VNs lately. Mateo is easily the best aspect of this VN since he oozes charisma from his very well-written dialogue. My main issue however is a small but very important thing that can be fixed quite easily. The voice clips are really unnecessary and actually kind of harm the overall experience. I'd say the biggest thing to take away from this demo is to remove the voice clips entirely.

Yeah basically. But well we'll see when it comes out. 

It's mostly just a "while I'm at it" kinda thing. There are a few things I want to change around to be more effective. I mean, rewrites are very common anyways so I don't think it's too out of the ordinary but it will follow the same basic structure set out before.

That's strange. My artist is also having issues downloading for Mac. I'm trying to solve it atm but I'm not sure what's going on.

I'll take that into consideration. Thank you! Going to change the Mode names because it's honestly way too confusing lmao.

It's intended to be a SFW VN. I should probably put that in the description but thanks for asking!

Good to go then?

Made  a few adjustments while lining. The jaw part was lessened and I made the nostrils a bit larger. That extreme drop off was kind of weird to make but I tried to replicate it slightly. Think this works?

Hrm. So this is fine enough as is then?

Uh-huh huh huhhh.

Let me tell ya now.
Uh-huh.
Mmhhmmm.

When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around.
Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd.
But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance was all it took.
Now it's much too late for me to take a second look.

Oh, baby, give me one more chance
To show you that I love you.
Won't you please let me back in your heart?
Oh, darlin', I was blind to let you go,
(Let you go, baby.)
But now, since I see you in his arms,
I want you back.

Yes, I do now.
I want you back.
Ooh, ooh, baby.
I want you back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want you back.
Na, na, na, na.

Trying to live without your love is one long sleepless night.
Let me show you, girl, that I know wrong from right.
Every street you walk on, I leave tear stains on the ground, yeah.
Following the girl I didn't even want around.

Let me tell ya now.

Oh, darling, all I need is one more chance
To show you that I love you.
Won't you please let me back in your heart?
Oh, darlin', I was blind to let you go,
(Let you go, baby.)
But now, since I see you in his arms...
Oh, ha.

Bum, bum, bum, bum.
All I want...
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
All I need...
Bum, bum, bum, bum.
All I want...
Bum, bum, bum, bum.
All I need...

Oh, just one more chance
To show you that I love you.
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!
I want you back.
Forget what happened then
(I want you back.)
And let me live again!

Oh, darling, I was blind to let you go,
But now, since I see you in his arms,
I want you back.

Spare me of this cause
(I want you back.)
Give me back what I lost!

Oh, darling, I need one more chance—ha—
I'll show you that I love you.
Baby, oh! Baby, oh! Baby, oh!
I want you back!
I want you back!