itch.io

ahhh thank you so much! i'm touched that you find the story and characters interesting since they were kinda self-indulgent eheh😳 i definitely had a larger narrative in mind, but thought to explore just a piece of it for the sake of the jam's brevity and see how it turns out haha 

i would be keen to consider expanding this in the future (however long and distant) so thanks again for playing, it rlly means a lot! :)

 (p.s: i love your game, 'Making a Monster' too!!) 💕

aww thanks for playing! i'm rlly glad you enjoyed it as i wanted to try giving a different script-like feeling ^^

wow! now that you mentioned it, you are right!! this is exactly like gratitude journaling, except that instead of catharsis, it makes you inadvertently feel sadder haha (i did try journalling and would say that it works a lot better than making a happiness jar 🤭)

awww yes you described it wonderfully! ^^ thanks so much for reading and making sense of my sporatic musings haha i'm glad you liked the experience even with the dubiously shocked face xD

(also it's great to see you again bucketfish! hehe hope you are doing well💕)

haha thanks for the small note! i was initially debating between the original black and purple BG colour, so now that you've pointed it out, i've switched it back to simple black so hopefully it's easier to navigate now :) thank you for playing!

Wow this is soooo adorable, imaginative, and well-put together! I thoroughly enjoyed being a silly socially-awkward frog out to get milk. I loved all the endings and the graphics really added to the interactive experience. 

The colour of the cashier's dialogue is a little too dark which made it hard to read, and I wonder if the experience would be even more impactful with music/sound effects. But nevertheless, I can tell the effort and passion for this simple yet sweet game. Excellent work!!

Looking forward to what you create next!  :)

One of my fav parts: "I'll just eat bread" "But I really want cereal" - that hit hard...

😊 Haha thanks, it’s nice to know that the team is receptive and takes feedback seriously.

Oh, that was what I meant by padding the textbox, but it was also just off the top of my head, my suggestions are only just that of course, it's up to the team to decide what works best in the end! :)

When you mention that you’d be seeing how to fit dialogue and narration into one text box, I can’t help but wonder, why not give them their own spaces in individual text boxes, rather than trying to cram them both into one most of the time? Not to create an entirely new text box each for dialogue and narration, but that dialogue can be more reserved for the text box with arrows that points to the character speaking along with the name tags, and narration used more in the text box without the arrows. 

The instances where the prologue demo did this (such as Regular Textbox: [Narration only] >> Arrow Textbox: [Name tag] + [Dialogue only]  >> Arrow Textbox: [Name tag] + [Dialogue only] >> Regular Textbox: [Narration only]), even if it’s rather few, were the most immersive moments at least for me because reading flowed well alongside the character expressions. This is in contrast to instances like “Regular Textbox: [Narration about Eri jerking up] >> Arrow Textbox [Saki’s Dialogue] >> [Saki’s Name tag pops up]”. The Arrow textbox merging with the prior Regular Textbox feels incongruent with the starting narration of Eri which now has Saki’s name tag at the top. It may be better for the player to take in the narration of Eri jerking back in its own regular text box, and then encounter Saki’s dialogue next. There are certainly a lot more nuances that go into this, each moment would be different according to what is needed to convey their effect, but the most important bit is discerning the tempo of reading through textboxes and how it affects the player’s experience (which is why beta testers, or anyone really, who can see how all these elements come together might be handy). The game just needs to spread out the dialogue and narration text to prevent clogging up a single text box.

Nevertheless, I also completely understand the limitations of what can be done at this stage given that the release date is drawing near and I definitely don’t wish to add more to the plate. I get the sense that the text seems fine on paper, but when translated into visual novel mode, it becomes tricky to mold it into the game's design. Understandably, the comic-panel style of TWBD doesn’t fit in the ‘traditional’ VN model of standard text box at the bottom for both dialogue and narration so it’s an extra challenge. Indie development is tough, so if there isn’t enough time to fully consider everything, it’s alright if the game’s textual format stays as it is (I only hope for at least the option to have the text be consistently at full opacity as it gets harder to read over time). Thanks for considering my comments, and hang in there!⭐

I've been looking forward to this game since the Kickstarter and am very excited to see its progress! I absolutely love the art and direction, and wherever the game is going to go, I’m in. That being said, I have some concerns after playing the Prologue (I didn't play the previous Legacy demo so I will be solely focusing on the Prologue demo):

Firstly, without paragraph indents, spacings, or breaks to ease the eye, the written lines accumulate into an unwieldy chunk of text in each text box, hindering the reading experience. I enjoy story-heavy and text-based games tremendously, but the clumping of long lines makes the words difficult to follow and digest. With each click revealing a line that adds to the preceding bulk of text, the eye feels like it is weighed down without enough space to rest. I can tell the effort that went into the writing to provide immersive descriptions, but the presentation of the text box UI works against it. 

Perhaps each new paragraph can be indented like a regular book format, or blocks of paragraphs can be spaced out more, or more padding can be added to the text box UI, anything that can direct the eye better. Having long lines in a text box is fine, but it is more about creating a certain rhythm and pacing of reading with the form of the text. 

Another concern is the use of opacity to differentiate between the dialogue and action lines. I understand using this approach to distinguish between dialogue and action and give them some flavour, but as the opacity of the action lines was too faded, over time my eyes were strained in trying to see them. The shift in opacity between dialogue and action text becomes more jarring and distracting than fluid, I could read the dialogue more clearly simply because they were more opaque than the action lines, and it felt like a test on my eyesight sometimes haha… 

This is also not to say that opacity on text shouldn’t be used, but it should be used for effect. Lower text opacity can, for instance, give the feeling of quiet and distance. It makes sense when there was a “new voice” speaking, such that the translucent text aptly feels like it came from somewhere distant, or when someone is trailing off, and so on. But otherwise, to use it throughout the story in normal situations, the effect feels out of place. When combined with the aforementioned clumping of words in a single text box, reading overall became quite strenuous. Even if the text effect and UI remain as a stylistic choice, perhaps there can be an option to consistently darken all the text for better visual accessibility. 

Another side note would be to have clearer button feedback, such as giving a brighter highlight when hovering over a clickable button in the main menu, or even a sound effect. Such interactions can better inform the player of their input as well as give the game more ‘life’ as it responds to the player. 

On the narrative side, I find the prologue to be an interesting direction in setting up the main story, though I’m left with a bit of mixed feelings. This is mostly because the prologue is a small piece of the whole pie so I can’t judge the whole yet, but then again it’s also the beginning piece that frames the rest of the pie and sets up expectations. I enjoy the use of outsider perspective in stories and it is great to see how Eri develops apart from the main narrative, realistically showcasing how the threads of one person’s life can be both entangled with and stray from another, all while building up the main characters. The ending of the prologue provides intrigue as Eri’s tiny arc ends while the main characters’ concurrent stories are yet to be explored. 

While I enjoy this narrative approach for the prologue, I wished for a little more hinting at the main narrative and characters. When interesting tidbits regarding what happened to the main characters apart from Eri’s narrative were dropped at the end, the narration swept by it and continued to march on towards Eri’s conclusion. For instance, rumours that Sakai threatened Ashikaga with a knife? That sounds both badass and distressing! But for something that holds much emotional weight, the game brushes over it, circling its trajectory back to Eri, seemingly in haste to wrap up Eri’s story. While I like that the prologue didn’t overstay its due, there wasn’t exactly a strong sense of what the main narrative is about, and I left the prologue feeling like I know more about Eri and her small journey than the main characters due to how little we see of them and their conflicts (which are supposed to be the star of the game). Because it is so detached from the main narrative and self-contained, the prologue feels more like a side story than a framing of the larger story that is to come. It’s like seeds of the main narrative, conflict, and characters were planted sparingly, and then the narration pulls our attention away to focus on the growth of a distant plant. Yet again, because this is a demo, maybe the full game will be able to transition to the main characters’ perspectives and tone smoothly, and introducing Eri’s mini-story first will make sense in the overall narrative even if she may or may not appear again or be relevant to the main story. Maybe Eri would wish she had reached out to Ashikaga after all even though they had only shared small moments together, I don’t know, but I hope such opportunities for emotional impact can be expanded upon more, and I hope it works out as I believe in the team’s creative direction.

I raise these concerns because the game has great potential to play with the medium of visual novels and provide a stunning experience. The art is, as always, an extremely beautiful and eye-catching feature. Nevertheless, the ease of reading is a crucial make-or-break, especially for a heavily narrative-driven visual novel. I want to recommend this game to people, but I can also understand if they may be initially put off by the clunky appearance of the text at this point. Moreover, for a game that very much hinges on its storytelling, perhaps beta readers/testers can be used to check and ensure the quality of the narrative experience. I really hope for this game to succeed and be the best version it can be, so thank you for your hard work and all the best! :)

oh gosh i didn't expect an entire walkthrough haha it was a really nice surprise! your video also made me realize how different the feeling is without the camera movement of the cursor, thank you for this! ♥

thank you so much for playing even now!! :)

glad you like it! thanks a lot ^^ 

hi, i have marked the downloads as executables accordingly, hope it works!

/orz that's what happens when one picks a little generic piano BG music from youtube haha but thanks for playing!

ahh i'm very glad you liked it! since it's a super small story, i didn't want to stretch it with multiple endings so i went for a kind of bittersweet tone haha but even though they have accepted the future, MC and Mirror will have each other~ ^^

oh wow i didn't realise that the length would be impacted by the fairy-tale influence like that! haha a bit of a coincidence but it did make me feel better for having to keep it short :') thank you so much! ♥

true! i agree with the struggle of working within the rules though that's also the fun part haha

i think it's great that despite O2A2's limitations, you have put out the story that you intended to convey so congrats on that! i also think it's wonderful that you feel the need to flesh it out, such as for Maria's POV, it's something important to you and i'm sure it will help a lot of people who can relate to it too, so if it brings you a sense of fulfillment or relief to see the characters through, you can go for it beyond the jam where you have more room to expand and tell the story you really want to share, but take care of your own needs first of course, and remember there's no pressure, you've already made a great game :) all the best!!

ahh thank you for your comment! there are a lot of things about the story that i would go further with now that i've looked back, but i'm glad you liked it even so :')

i've just played your game for O2A2, 'A Day of Her Life',  and i absolutely love it too! it's so impactful and touching, thank you for making it! keep up the good work ^^

hi, thanks for the video!! i understand how it must have been a surprise at the short length if you didn't know about the game jam beforehand haha, this is by no means a full-lengthed vn due to the nature of O2A2 so my focus was more on the interaction however brief it may be, i did intend to go a bit further but had to consider the jam's limitations ;;

i appreciate your interest in wanting more nevertheless! if this idea is ever picked up again i will certainly expand on the characters and experience ^^

aww thank u! my goal was to make Mirror conniving and pretty so i'm rlly happy you like her design hehe thanks for playing!! 💕

Good spy idea and art that fits the theme well! But would like the gun weapons to have faster cooldowns or at least a visual timer that indicates the cooldown, and weapons that have more AOE. I also prefer to shoot using the mouse rather than the spacebar. 

Overall, there's potential! Good job! :)

oh sure we can message each other through discord! 😳 my handle is scion#5011 but i also notice you have a little cute bucket discord group on your profile haha i would love to create something with you too tho i hope it wouldn't be anything too much on your plate if you're busy with your current games or school ;;;😣

aww you are so sweet honestly thank you so much for your comment!!😊 back then i was exploring interactive fiction and making a few of them as a sort of phase haha but i'm so glad you gave this a shot and enjoyed it 🥺 i made this as my last piece of IF for a while and haven't tried it again for a long while ahaha ;;; so to hear you say to keep creating cool stuff gets me emotional 😢😭 thank you again it means a lot 🥺💖

hehe i've peeked at your games too and they are really so cool and amazing with your adorable art style!! ✨ i'd love to help in your games in any way if possible haha either way i'd be supporting you as well! ^~^

ahhh i'm so touched thank you🥺!! i wonder how you discovered my little interactive fictions out of curiosity haha but thanks for playing even now, i really appreciate it!! ^~^❤️

ohhh wow that's so cute and sweet!! i'm glad you have such memories, thanks for sharing!! ✨

thank you!! i'm glad you enjoyed it too ^~^ i don't think i've heard about letterlocking before but it sounds rlly interesting!

Thanks for playing! :') It's heartening to see you find this game and enjoy it, especially now looking back at how it has been a few years since the game was made, so I really appreciate it! 💕

aww this was so cute! I loved exploring the different areas and possibilities of being an egg :')

I went half-way into the 0.93 ver and rly liked it! it was fun and humorous in its own way so I was excited for the 1.0 ver haha 

I got all 3 endings and my favourite one is where Junia got close to Owen but still chose to stay. It was a lot more emotional and I enjoyed the heartbreak ehehe

also I initially thought you can choose between Owen or Marcus oops haha. But I get it cos the focus is on Owen and Junia, tho mb there could be more development for Marcus even as a side character so there'll be stronger reasons to stay and it'll be harder to choose

overall, great work!!

Yes, I'll definitely be in contact! Thank you very much, it's a great honour!

aww thank you for the lovely comments! i’m happy my little game could do that for you haha

yayyyy i'm glad to have a companion in paper fortune telling hahaha thank youuu for playing Kaja!! <3

thank you!! it means a lot hehe ^-^

Thanks! I would say that this is my first completed Twine game haha

That's so awesome that you create your own music! I've listened to your soundcloud and your tracks remind me of retro pixel games which is very cool! It would be wonderful to hear your tunes for the story, maybe guitar might complement but it's up to you! Thank you for reaching out ^^

Thanks for sourcing the error! I'm not well-versed in the technicalities to be honest haha, but I'll try to find a solution! Thank you for playing the game even without music ^^

Sorry to hear about the music (no pun intended)! I didn't notice as the music works on my Mac (Safari and Chrome), may I know which browser you're playing it on?

Thank you very much! ^-^

Thank you so much for your comments! I'm really happy that you enjoyed playing and could relate to it! Makes actually finishing the game worth it ^-^

I'm glad you like them to be together or meet again haha, I did think of such a fairy tale-like ending for them but I decided to go for a more real approach cos it's life and they're still kinda strangers, but who knows ;)

As for music,  since the main character frequently goes through different moods, I initially thought it might be jarring to switch between various tones of music so quickly, but thanks for your consideration! I might add music if I find any suitable ones haha

Thank you for your help with finding the typos! I really appreciate it! Also, is it too late to ask which ice cream flavour you chose?

The beginning scene, lack of music and the primary use of green gave off this kind of dreary and unsettling atmosphere and throughout the entire innocent quest for bacon (until the ending), I was on the edge of my seat expecting some dark twist haha (like how it usually is with these kind). Then the ending happened and I was pleasantly surprised that it was just a cute and simple game. I like how the occasional swearing and character depiction contrasts with the cute art style. The lack of music somehow fits and made it unique. I think this game despite being very short can stand on its own. Would love an extension but anyways good work; for once something that started out as somewhat unsettling turned out to be simply sweet!