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Okie dokie. :)

Many things resonate with me here so I'd like to talk to you. Do you have discord?

I've been playing the game for a while, trying different choices/paths, to get a better picture of it all. And here's my review. For those, who've not played it yet, SPOILERS AHEAD. And, without further ado, let's get to it.

We can start with the main menu. I'm not sure what "011 remake" is supposed to mean but consider changing it to "Duality". I can see a certain contrast in colors in the main menu which I think works both thematically and symbolically. Though the bright colors are dominating for some reason for which there might be some meaning but I could suggest making the main menu more balanced, with the characters in the center. Perhaps even having two sets of buttons on each side which would make it more distinct. Also, I think the characters look much better in main menu than in the game.

When it comes to the game itself, I think a custom GUI was a good idea – makes it look more solid, more professional. One of my favorite parts of the game was the limited color schemes for the backgrounds – made it look more atmospheric, maybe even a little creepy. And the changing font made it more interesting, too. But I think there are still ways the art side could be improved: more backgrounds, maybe some animation to make it all more atmospheric and lively. Also, maybe at least some silhouettes of the teachers, classmates, etc. Moreover, you can consider making separate art to distinguish oral dialogue and texting.

And, at first, I thought it was weird that there is one body but two sprites for the personalities, especially when they talk about looking in the mirror but we don't see mirror with the reflection. I suppose it can be confusing and it does make one wonder how exactly does the protagonist look (especially considering Eva says they both have the same face). But I've come to think that it doesn't really matter how the protagonist's body looks like and this two-sprite presentation actually makes it kind of cool. Also, this gives you an opportunity to eventually show how the protagonist looks like as an additional touch/twist.

The story itself is maybe somewhat niche? It deals a lot with introspection and certain psychological issues. And you could consider giving it relevant tags (e.g. "psychological"). Personally, I like psychological elements in stories and another one of my favorite parts of it was seeing the world through Eva's eyes. I could relate less to Evan and I think that's another benefit that this game has: the opportunity of having, in a way, two different protagonists. This is something you could consider emphasizing/advertising in the game's description. To make the story more exciting, it could maybe be faster-paced, could have more intrigue, more emphasis on things which are not resolved.

Moreover, this one part seemed off. The protagonist on a yellow pill when meeting Melissa for the second time. When they take the blue pill, Melissa goes "Oh, now you're quiet!" Could she have made that judgement so quickly?

I liked that there were many choices and the story could go in various directions. Having two protagonists with different outlooks and ways of handling things made it especially distinct. And I liked the options to check out things in the room without being forced to go through everything.

I also liked the music throughout. It sounded cool, distinct, matched the eerie vibes. And I liked how it would shut off for dramatic effect sometimes. Though going along with the themes of duality, you could consider giving Evan a more contrasting soundtrack along with the contrasting visuals: maybe something faster, more energetic, more upbeat. Maybe even almost jarring and harder to listen to to match his mania.

I also liked that you put some sound effects. And maybe there could be more. For example, there's a part where the door hinges "cry out" – there could be a sound for it.

And I suppose it's typical for visual novels to have a certain mismatch between the text and the visuals. For example, if a character is unlocking a door, the sprite could show them with hands in their pockets. But I personally prefer a greater match. In fact, in many cases, I think you could have easily made it work better. For example, if the character is already outside, the background could have changed already. But the changes would sometimes be "delayed" here. Also, there are other mismatches I kept noticing throughout the game. For example, I think it was Melissa's skirt that was called red but it's more like violet/purple? Another example: Evan looks nervous when telling Melissa off (not looking her in the eye, beads of sweat?). That doesn't look like him. Some sprites seemed to have been also missing. Like when Eva looks at the lamp: there's a message about something missing in the game. Also, at one part, there was supposedly a knock on the window. But it sounded more like a knock on the door (wood, not glass).

Also, I think there seemed to have been a few punctuation mistakes. For example, "No seriously". And strange spacing between words (like two spaces instead of one). For example, I think this was one part where Evan says: "THIS  is MY calm." I can consider the spacing to be a stylistic choice, maybe it can be used as some emphasis of themes of fragmentation but I didn't know what to make of it here. Just looked like a mistake.

I thought it was a nice touch that the game shuts off after Eva goes to bed. It's a distinct way to end a game and I think it went well with Eva's ideas about one day being dead and the fact she's gone to sleep and, as it was mentioned, not thinking about anything when she's asleep. But it ends the same way with Evan. So you could, again, consider making a bigger contrast here: instead of a matching abrupt ending, it could be more like a slow flash of light, mimicking a limelight to go along with his dreams of being in the spotlight or maybe a vivid transition to represent his mania. It could also lead not to the window closing but to the main menu. It would parallel the different mindsets where Eva is constantly thinking about death and Evan is talking about new beginnings.

By the way, you could pay more attention to content warnings. For example, there is swearing in the game and some themes can be too heavy for some readers (suicidal thoughts, bullying, etc.).

All in all, I could tell you I liked the game. It had many cool things but there are always many ways something can be improved. I hope you find my review encouraging and constructive. And I wish you good luck developing it further.

I'm interested in examples. I've send you friend request on Discord.

Thank you for these assets! They were very helpful for my visual novel Buuuuuuuuuuurger! 

Ok. :)

Hello! I'm a game dev, looking for a new project. And maybe I can help (programming, writing, direction, etc.)?

When I read your post, I thought we might complement each other pretty well. Because I make visual novels in Ren'py but one using Ren'py can benefit a lot from Python knowledge. And I just happen to have an idea for a game with themes of the relationship between humanity and technology with strong themes of programming. And I thought Serial Experiments Lain was very freaking cool! 

This line really stuck out for me: "I'm a very responsible person that puts a lot of effort in the projects which I believe in". I am very much looking forward to working with people that are taking it seriously. Because I take game dev seriously, too.

I've found a voice actress to do a bit of voice acting and some royalty-free music which seemed fitting enough.  And, after some polishing and testing, the game is out! 

Buuuuuuuuuuurger! by Borgarlover

Yay!

Thank you for such a nice and thoughtful comment. ^^ I'm glad you had so much fun with it and were interested enough to get all the endings.

You're very welcome! And I'd just like to add one thing. I've played quite a few of the games in the jam. In my opinion, the kiss in yours is one of the best. I liked how the visuals were supplemented with the context/writing. Best of luck to the team.

Cheers!

You're very welcome. ^^

I wish I could give the bard a hug. We all make mistakes, it's all good. Better that all those artists make mistakes but release all that beautiful art into the world than just not make any art in case there are mistakes. Got your back, too, StarJax. Go knock 'em dead, buddy! :D

And, yeah, you can still update your game, make it shine even brighter. 

Cheers!

Cute graphics, nice music. I like how the fairy-tale book vibes were built with the GUI and the page-turn sound effect. And I like how many choices there are. 

Too bad it's still just a demo and there's no kiss... :'c

Cool graphics, cool music, cool atmosphere.

What a sweet little story! 

I found it pretty refreshing how everyone was so supportive of the slime trying to woo the princess. And that part with how they helped the bard holds a special place in my heart. I would have said that's my favorite part but I was especially touched by the part with the gift towards the end (not to mention how intrigued I was about how the gift was supposed to be something for someone who already has everything...) and the finale.

What song the bard could've played is "Oh Dragon Princess, I think you're rad, I wanna kiss you, right in front of your dad..." XD

I guess I was always thinking there's more to the "adventurer" and there's something about that sword but I could not figure it out. The reveal was pretty cool.

And the kiss was sweet. But also, it was so distinct that I'm giving it an extra star.

Other than that, I liked the music and how many choices there were.

By the way, I found a bug. That bug was a moth.

Pretty graphics, nice music, meaningful choices. And I guess I found out how NOT to kill a vampire lord... XD

Ok, thank you. :)

Thank you again. XD

Thank you, thank you, I'm glad you liked it. ^^ 

Yes! Yes, the artist is great! And thank you for the tip. But I don't know how to do a web version. Can you say how you did yours?

You're welcome. And I like the idea that Mika is cursing so much that censoring it all manually is too much work. XD

So I guess you only got the endings 1 and 2? Then you may be in for a treat if you go for ending 3... XD

I'm excited to share with you our entry to the SWAK jam 2026: 

Be Nunner 

(Be Nunner by Borgarlover, shrimpdreams, seangle, samueldarknight)

It's a short romantic comedy VN about a nun, who kisses a succubus, and tries not to go to hell (or not).

I know, right? 10 points to the artist!

Thanks. ^^ This all may come in handy. I'll save it for reference. Also, lol at the "try dying more next time!".

What more could a dev ask in game jam comment? :D My goal was to make people laugh and make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm glad to have met such a good team!

Thanks for the nice comment. ^^ By the way, which endings did you get?

You may have forgotten to upload the file?

The sprite work here is top-notch!

You're very welcome!

1. Aye! :D

2. Heh, that's not the way I meant it. In my game, there is more than one way the protagonist could die. And I thought I could make it somehow a challenge to get all those deaths... I'm not even sure how you did the death counter, especially when Eulogy says the number. Care to share how you learned it?

4. Oh snap, I think I'm falling for the barista more than Eulogy. An idea for a spin-off: dating the barista! :D

5. Oh yeah, that may be it. And I think it makes sense to experiment with fonts. But I'm saying I liked how it looked here.

Eh, I don't think your game is THAT silly but I'm glad you appreciate my comment so much. X)

I like the character designs/sprites. The graphics overall were next-level. And I like the humor. I liked the "bench pressing the entire altar" line, then the part where Severin said "I beg your pardon?" and the part where Severin talked about the implication of him exploding. 

Other than that, all that cursing from Mika was pretty amusing. In fact, I could even say I found it inspiring. :D For me as a writer, that is. And I've tried the "censored" version, too. That was interesting. But it made me think: wouldn't be even more amusing if the cursing was replaced with some creative euphemisms instead of random phrases?

I like goth girls so I thought this might just be right up my alley. But oh my goth, I didn't expect this to be so much fun. I thought I may just die a few times and get the idea. But I kept coming back and back (12 deaths if you must know... :D). And, at some point, it got comical how many times I got the "You died" screen. In fact, the death counter gave me an idea for my own game...

I thought the concept was interesting.

My favorite joke was probably when the ghost was like: "What a surprise that you ran into us in our own home." :D But I also liked when Eulogy went "I forgot it does that, lol".

Other than that, I liked the music. It was very fitting. 

And I liked that I could try different clothes before going on the date. What I did was try something, then scroll back and try something else. I can suggest it being an actual game mechanic that you try different clothes before making the decision of what really to wear to the date. I eventually went with the armor. Yes, I did think "just in case". For example, to protect me from a deadly hug. I assumed Eulogy would understand my safety precautions. But too bad... :D

I also liked the name "Eulogy" and that she has a "favorite requiem".

I also liked the barista. In fact, I think I liked her style more than Eulogy's. :D

And I liked the "spirits stuck in another time" line.

And later I noticed the text has a special font. I don't know how you thought a pixelated font would work here but somehow it did!

That's one heck of a visual novel for a first time. It's one thing to have no bugs (none that I've noticed) or even going beyond the basics of Ren'py. But I could tell you: I'm not new to making visual novels but I don't know how you did some of the things here.

And the context makes it more interesting. :)

I liked how there were many choices and the game felt like an adventure. And, at first, I did not expect much from it. But it got a little funny and pretty sweet very quickly. 

What was funny for me is how The Countess signed off with "Love, The Countess" and how the huntress was like: "What am I doing?" Like, yeah, she's here to slay The Countess and she's just relaxing in the bathtub. :D

The narrative choice of how the huntress' past was introduced was interesting.

I liked when the huntress asked The Countess if she would like to talk about Gwyndolyn, the part with the painting at the end and the dialogue that led to the kiss. Those were sweet. :)

Also, there was a nice track during the culmination dialogue.

And that ending counter was a neat idea, too.

First of all, the graphics with all the animations made it pretty distinct.

I liked how there were many choices and each day you could choose an activity. And that the choices had symbols next to them was a neat touch. But maybe there could be a morning - afternoon - evening cycle every day? On my first try, I chose to tend to the farm every day. Like I was supposed to do! :D But maybe I could tend to the farm in the morning and go talk to my friends or go on adventures in the afternoon? And the ending I got was pretty funny... :D

I also liked the mentions of the dreams. They seemed to be changing depending on your choices and seemed to be symbolic.

I also liked how there were many endings. And how the endings mentioned what happened to other characters. That's a neat idea. And that completing endings opened up new things was also an interesting idea. I was intrigued by the "rumor" and played the game a few times to see how far I can take it. I also felt sorry for Violet that she has to run extra errands to make ends meet. Maybe she could help tend the farm while I go on adventures? Maybe I should replay it again and see if that works...

By the way, did I notice a "Back to the future reference" there..? :)

This was a nice little game with some cool and sweet stuff. 

I liked the graphics. The main menu looked pretty cool, too.

I also liked the music. I found it very fitting and sometimes it would be pleasant and relaxing, other times - fittingly eerie. 

That it is made in RPG Maker makes it stand out. What's also distinct about it is the little exploration feature, where Marie can walk around her room and talk about her things. And I liked how the descriptions changed (probably to reflect her state of mind?). But maybe they could also depend on the choices the player makes, what the characters have been doing and talking the day before. 

The story was intriguing. And I felt sorry for Marie. And I liked the different endings. And the animation. I thought the part where Marie carried Clovis was pretty sweet. The kiss was pretty sweet, too. :)

"Borgar guts"? Is this some meme I've not heard of? :D

Thank you for the nice comment. :) It was lot of fun to write it, too. :D Do you have a favorite joke?

Thank you. ^^

Thaaanks. ^^

I thought it had nice music, distinct and unconventional gameplay. And I suck at rhythm games so I'm glad I could win this one. :D And I thought the part, where Aiza is like: "Everyone back off!", was funny. But my favorite part of this game was probably the rhyming. :D