I have to say, I didn't expect just how sucked into this I would get haha, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on the game and the random interactions you put into it that made it so expressive! Playing it felt like having a long, nerdy, intellectually-stimulating conversation with a friend, which talking about depictions of queer relationships and sexuality in games is a pretty fun conversation to have.
I felt like I could relate to a lot of the topics personally, especially as a bisexual trans man who comes from a Catholic background. Years of Catholic school and experiences with certain people in my past definitely made it a slow process for me to grow comfortable with myself when it came to sex. And being trans and questioning sexuality adds a whole other layer to that. I don't consider myself a Catholic anymore I suppose, but I still feel a very strong tie to religion and spirituality. A lot of aspects of it still feel more comforting and familiar to me and draw me, but coming out as trans, being in a gay relationship, and becoming more interested in sex has made me keep my distance.
Maybe one day I'll find some kind of middle ground, but I can understand your feelings of guilt and conflict. It's something I've grappled with a lot over the years and something I continue to grapple with even now that I "know" I don't "need to feel guilty". It's hard to work through something that's been so deeply rooted into you for so long.
I still remember sitting in religion class as a freshman in highschool, I had this sudden realization of "maybe it's not a sin to have sex before marriage. it's not hurting anyone is it?" but then I scared myself and from there wondered "if sex outside of marriage isn't a sin, then what else isn't sinful...?"
It seems silly looking back on it now that I placed it on such a high pedestal that having that thought scared me, but it's hard to not think that growing up in more conservative environments. There's definitely a lot of complex emotions and feelings of shame associated with fetishes, as well, that I think fits in pretty neatly with just the way that a lot of people grow up feeling ashamed of their bodies and their sexuality, without much sex ed or encouragement on how to navigate sexual protection or how to express what they want/are interested in.
Anyways, I think I've rambled enough for now lmao, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed playing this. It got me thinking and wanting to go and play the game you talked about for real now.
Thank you so much for playing! I'm glad you got reading it, and hearing that it was like "having a long, nerdy, intellectually-stimulating conversation with a friend" is so sweet! ^u^
I'm glad you can relate to it. I completely understand the middle ground and the guilt/shame--it's hard to find a place to stand! But it's beautiful once you find it.
Thanks again for playing! I hope you enjoy Ladykiller In A Bind--glad you're going to check it out! C: