Oh yeah, forgot to mention: I think the 1st screen has a typo. It says "fillec in correctly", not "filled in correctly". ^^;
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Interesting attempt to put a twist on the Papers, Please formula. I like the idea that you have to keep your paperwork correctly filed throughout your life; the bar on the top is really interesting, and how the person grows older and eventually dies. Kinda making a commentary on something there.
But I really don't understand what papers are Valid and Invalid. For my playthrough I validated every paper that had my country on it, and I got through fine. I assume you need to match the info on the 1st screen with your papers in the game? But it's not clear, and you can't go back to see that info later, so . . . ?
Even so, I like the twist on the formula. Nice work! :)
That was really good! Great pacing, super enjoyable, and a very meta. I really liked it. All the images were carefully chosen & fitting for each shot, and the music fit the game perfectly.
My only 2 complaints: When we reach the computer screen, since the mouse showed up, I thought I had to click on something, & spent a few minutes clicking everywhere, trying to figure out how to progress. Then I thought "maybe I have to press enter?", which was the solution. It was a tad unclear, especially because the player was given a mouse.
Also, in the beginning, I tried about ten times to click "Enter" before I realized the game wanted me to press "Enter". Whoops. X)
Hi, fellow NaNoRenO Twine dev! Good to see someone else using this engine. :D
You have a pretty nice writing style. The character has a fresh and unique voice, and the way they describe things is interesting. Maybe try to break it up into more than one paragraphs, but I like it a lot! I look forward to what you write next, and what happens next for the character. :)
(Haven't posted it yet, but my NaNoRenO game is called Fantastic Backflip. Also a Twine game.)
@Jonas Munn: Thank you for playing & commenting! I actually didn't see keeping track of both screens as a struggle, but I do like your interpretation deeming it so; I find it very interesting. You seem to say that it supports the game, which makes me happy. Would you mind elaborating on how I could have made it harder?
The concept is simple, but pretty well executed. Though skipping a stone successfully is difficult; my high score is only ~1090! Good choices in color and music, and a one-button mechanic is a great idea. Nice work! :D
(btw, I'm also in this jam, with Colmeircia. Check it out? I'm eager to hear people's thoughts.)
This is a pretty simple but well-done shooter. The point system is very fair, especially considering you get killed in one hit; perhaps giving more lives would force the player to consider which to sacrifice, a life or a point? As Guileless Monk said, the explosions are a bit blinding. Also, by simply weaving from left to right and shooting, the game becomes fairly easy. Even so, well done! Does the game climb in difficulty as you rack up more points?
I like this so far. Good writing and good pacing. My main complaint is how many times you must scroll up and down to read the text. Perhaps pace it in such a way so it doesn't run off the page? And consider expanding from the defaults of this Twine theme. Use of color (on the text or for different backgrounds) and different fonts could really help the RPG-ness of this game. But the writing, the most important part, is already well done, and if you want to focus on only that, it's 100% understandble. :)
(I'm not an entrant in this Festival, but I am an IF creator. I'm entering IF Comp & A Game By Its Cover.)
@Connor Thomas Cleary:
Thanks for the comments, dude! I'm totally with you on the text visibility. Shadowing is s great idea.
As for Nathan's intelligence, I thought we were conveying it pretty well, and I totally agree with you that children "get" a lot. I thought we presented that well. Sorry. :(
As for each voice sounding the same . . . huh, did not consider something like that.
I'm glad you liked Literate overall.
I like the minimalist graphics, too. However, I feel some levels were not well designed. Like in the school, where the L to R hallway on the top it meaningless. I have no reason to traverse up there, but did to see if there was something I was missing. But nothing. The maze, too, had some parts like this. Overall, I think you can attribute this to the speed, though.
(btw, also in this jam, with the game Literate. Check it out? Feedback is always welcome.)
Trying to figure out that "ASP ECT" on the top-right meant, I pressed Escape and quit the game by accident. And then found out this has no autosave. So, yeah.
I thought this was alright so far (after I got outside the school, I went to the mountains to find that guy's flamethrower). This game is actually pretty expansive; clearly, you guys put a lot of content. Honestly, the speed kills it for me; it is barely tolerable to play with that speed, especially in the flamethrower maze sections. I'm still confused at your gender message too, and wonder about its overall purpose in the game.
And if you were a human in a car crash, why do you need to collect aspects of humanity? All I can assume is that I was not a human being who got into a car crash, but an enigma who imagined a car crash. Or heck, maybe this whole game is a fever dream that the car crash victim is having. I dunno.
Huh.This is a weird mashup of a text-based game and top-down adventure game. It's interesting.
My main problem is how slow you move, especially in large areas. It's like a crawl.
Picking up humanity is really creepy. Really. Creepy.
It took me a while to realize you've decided to comment on gender identity. Okay, but it doesn't really make sense within the setting of the game. Getting in a car crash, then getting in a school--alright, crazy things happen.
But picking up the genderless body was enough; you don't have to hit me over the head with the message with the hall monitor & student. And then with the bathroom (which I didn't realize was choosing my gender)! It turns the game from "purposefully creepy" to "speaks loudly with a big stick". It comes off unnecessarily strong--and why? What exactly is your message here?
I like the sounds for the text. And the animation & choice of color is very nice. But the lack of music makes me sad, since I think music could add a lot to this.
Do you watch Clarence? Because the houses look like a million Jeffs.
"Please click objects above". That was a very polite line, and I appreciate that.
I was disappointed when the game ended; man, you got me wanting more! This is a nice Unity visual novel, with great art & pretty good animation--and, of course, a good story. The lackluster font & lack of music would be my main complaints--I understand the length, since this was made for a game jam. Great work!
(btw, also in this WAG Jam, with Literate. Check it out? Feedback is always welcome! :D)
I did like the hunger-&-meat-thing, but not affecting HP felt like a disconnect. Also, the story is bare-bones, with only one line of dialogue holding it up--and the town people are not helping. The title & subtitle (eat. sleep. repeat) seems to hold up the story, but was it "inevitable" that I visit the rabbit hole and eat meat? Because I don't get it.
Is there more to this game? I would like to play whatever content I may have missed.
(btw, also a WAG Jam entrant, with Literate. Check it out? Feedback is always welcome!)
And technically, I didn't go down the rabbit hole, so why am I being punished? I looked at it, but didn't go down . . . Maybe if you said "Don't look for the rabbit hole" or something like that, this might work better.
Hey, the world's falling apart, but at least the shop's still opened! XD Seriously, he's one tile away from the darkness . . . poor guy.
Alright, my house's half-eaten. Now what? Or is this the "inevitable" the title talked about? If so, I don't know whether to praise you for conveying the meaning through mechanics, or scratch my head and ask whether anything else is happening, because it feels like cause & effect, with no effect.
I'm going to assume the game ends there. You probably noticed I was commenting as I played through. I think this is pretty good, but there's too many meaningless elements in this game that delay progression. If they talked about the MC, the rabbit hole, or the black-cape guy, they could work, but they seem meaningless as is.
I see I can feed him the meat after cooking it, but I don't see the point, other than delaying the actual story. Again, story & game disconnect.
Alright, I cannot figure out how to get down the rabbit hole. Is there a way? You can't say "don't go down the rabbit hole" if there's no way to go down at all. And if there is a way, it's very well hidden.
From the title, I thought this would be a game where I would do a routine over and over, to convey the routine-ness of life & death.
Huh! Alright, I like the eating meat, then waking up & seeing the darkness. That's pretty cool, and actually made me gasp. But it also rendered everything else meaningless. You could've put the meat at the rabbit hole for me to cook. Just could've put a straight road outside my house leading to it, and then find meat when I spacebar the rabbit hole. Honestly, I don't see the point of all the other things in this game, and it feels like my time was wasted.
First off, nice musical atmosphere. However, when the color palette doesn't support that atmosphere very well. I understand it's default RPG Maker VX Ace (I have the program myself), but still.
The lines range from cliche (the old man) to creepy in all the right ways (the scarecrow) to just odd (the mirror).
In the building on the right, sudden language! Seriously, it feels like it's there for no reason. At. All.
Found the rabbit hole/grave. Now what? Thought I had to buy a shovel from the shop, but they only sell meat. If there's a puzzle here, it's very poorly conveyed. Also, please don't let the MC say he's "too hungry to eat" with full HP, when I am unable to feed him. Story & mechanic disconnect there.
First off, I was pleasantly surprised by the substantially of this work. It's like an interactive novella. and I can appreciate that. So, thanks! :D
The writing is solid, the MC voice great. It felt slow & steady, though, for the most part--not many small paragraphs, but I'm not complaining. I was a tiny bit disappointed when the game ended as soon as I walked the path (took the drink) but you did such a good job with the setup that I still feel satisfied with the experience.
My only confusion is how the triskele fits into all of this.
This was a great entry to the WAG Jam, a slow journey into the rabbit hole that I really enjoyed.
(Also a WAG Jam entrant, with the game Literate. Check it out? Feedback is always welcome!)
First off, nice title. There's a sort of rhythm to it.
The substantial text on each page was, at first, off-putting, but I actually appreciate it. Giving us a good amount of information, then letting us choose based on that. Great! :)
Did you make the train map? It's got a nice, crisp design.
The writing is solid and descriptive, with a nice MC voice. My only complaint would be the game's design, no venture outside the usual Twine format. Some color & font choice could have added a lot , I think. Also, by the time I was asked to constantly change trains, I forgot if there was a true destination I was trying to reach, and only got one reminder. A lot to juggle in this game. That's not a bad thing, just something that could've been streamlined.
Great work! Like this variation of the theme!
(btw, I entered the game Literate to this jam, w/ my partner Haze. Check it out? Feedback is much appreciated!)
Sorry, just played through the game a bit now. Man, that inventory screen is confusing. I picked up just about all the clues before going to it, and that turned those journal entries into a huge mess; I couldn't organize any of it, really.
Like I said, I like the graphics a lot. But that inventory screen . . . man. After you assemble the journals, is there a "final ending"?
Ok, just tried the AI build. When I hit the enemy and get a skull in my banner, does that mean I lost a life, or won a round? It's kinda confusing, especially since the game doesn't declare a winner at the end; it just says "quit".
Hey, dude! Sorry I didn't reply to your HCF comment yet; I've been quite busy.
Anyway, ditto on your game; I'm sorry I missed it during the jam. As for more of my work, I only have two games out right now. One I made for the Public Domain Jam 2, HummingBird Haunting. The other I made last year, for the Game Jolt Contest 10, Monster Uses CPU 2. I made it with Haze, and we are considering uploading it to itch.io. Anyway, enjoy the games! :)
@DeliInteractive: Glad you enjoyed the game and its art. Gonna see what I can do with the sound. And Twine is not limited in that regard! My last Twine game, HCF, has music and voice-acting. Glad you'll be checking that out! :D
@antstiller: That's a good branch idea. A bit late now, though, but still a nice touch I could have made.
@andyman404 and @Kara Jane: Thanks a ton, guys! :D
@doonboddy: Glad you appreciated the art, man. And wow, adding hummingbird noises is a great idea. I'm going to look into that!
@Six Down Studios: Yeah, I like those colors too. Painting the game was tons of fun, and I'm glad you like the traditional art! Also, thanks for the comment reply on your game. Haven't gotten back to it yet, but I definitely will. :)
Oh yeah, forgot to mention: the game wouldn't run at first, so I moved the application outside the data folder and clicked it from there; it worked. May want to fix that. Sorry I didn't mention that before.
Hey, trying to play local multiplayer w/ the keyboard only. What are player 2's controls?
Also, I think this is pretty neat! The animation is nice & smooth, and the art is pretty sweet. Basically a public domain Super Smash Bros, and I think that there aren't enough original moves, but I like it!
(btw, also in this jam, with HummingBird Haunting. Check it out? Feedback is always welcome: norbez.itch.io/hummingbird-haunting)
When I download and unrar this, & click the icon, I get an error that says Unable to load mono library from "C:/Users/Norbez/Downloads/ZombiesOfLesbos_Win_V1/ZombiesOfLesbos_v1_Data/Mono/mono.dll" (error = 126).
The music is hilariously dissonant. The art & style has its own charm, especially the title screen. Interesting how the shoe is gold & not glass, but I'm not complaining. :)
I saw you had a skip button in the tutorial. I would have liked that in other places, to get straight to the story. Especially the Wartington level; that took quite a while, and the game would slow during it. Also, by keeping track of the cuts, are you encouraging me to do more cuts, or less?
Honestly, that warts level was so difficult I haven't even finished the game. I keep cutting tiny and tinier pieces that I need to get out. I like the game so far, though! This is a neat creation for the jam! Great job! :D
(btw, also in this jam, with my game HummingBird Haunting. Check it out? Feedback is always welcome: norbez.itch.io/hummingbird-haunting)
I get why you called the love the "love interest", so it could be either gender, but those words have no personal meaning. They're stone cold, and give the "love interest" no real life.
So I thought this was just . . . ok. I would have liked if you could choose whether to do 1 of the 3 options, not go one by one, which makes no sense. And that ending, honestly, feels like just an excuse to end it, like you made this and just threw a random "doppleganger" thing in there. I don't think it amplifies or improves the source material; it only nods to the book, not absorbs & enhances it.
I wish you the best in future projects. Also, replied to your comment on HummingBird Haunting. Thanks again for playing.