I think the grammar's usually okay, but sometimes there are little mistakes like you said your working on it 😄. I reckon the main thing to work on is giving less detail for small stuff. It can make things sound a bit too complicated and awkward sometimes. You're occasionally altering your wording, which can make the sentence sound wierd 😅.
The art is solid line art is not bad at all! Adding some variety in contrasts, textures, and tweaking the lighting and shading could take it up a notch. But overall, not too shabby! 😁