(crossposted from my original Backloggd review)
A lot of trans media fails to capture what this VN manages to depict so effectively. We tend to focus on what trans bodies are -supposed- to look like, to the point where a lot of trans women and men internalize these ideas as goals they need to strive for. It doesn't matter if it's truly what they want, or if it's realistic, the "privilege" of their identity being respected hinges on these factors. Because some people just plainly suck or don't know any better.
Early into my journey I was enamored by submission, because it was only when I acted like this that I would be treated in the way I wanted to. It resulted in me frequently being taken advantage of and hurt, and being beset with expectations and desires that weren't my own.
It took me years to come to terms with who I wanted to be, finally deciding to start transitioning when what womanhood means to me fully crystalized.
I can see a lot of this process reflected back at me in this story, terrible abuse interspersed with happy moments that make you forget, if only for a day or two.
Being told what to like, how to look, how to behave, what to do; it has a sickening comfort to it that can become addicting. It's dangerous to give your own journey over to someone else, their whims and preferences are anything but yours.
To cap off this "review", it made me think about the voice training I plan to start soon. Despite being on hrt for over 2 years my voice seems to remain a large barrier towards being gendered correctly.
I personally don't mind my voice, never have and probably never will. This will likely be another thing in my transition I'm doing for the sake of others, rather than myself. It's important to reflect on these instances, to weigh the pros and cons, and make sure it's my own choice.
I think I will be doing this voice training regardless, but atleast I'll be confident in the fact that I chose for it, and relish the ability to still whip out my masc voice whenever I deem it to be useful or funny.