oOoOoOoOh, shiver me timbers! your display of arrogance is truly breathtaking. how fortunate i am to receive such an exquisite lecture on my apparent shortcomings from someone who clearly has an advanced degree in waterfowl studies! your expertise in discerning between ducks and extraterrestrials is truly unparalleled — a true marvel of the modern age. what a quack. as for your amateur psychoanalysis, i must say, I'm thoroughly underwhelmed! your attempts to diagnose my emotional state based on a simple mistake are as laughable as they are presumptuous. and your insinuations about my family affairs? well, let's just say it's as impressive as it is none of your business. to mee it seems like you're simply projecting your own insecurities onto me. if so, maybe you should consider family therapy, which, pardon my insensibility, might not be very appropriate considering your lack of one. regarding your suggestion of therapy, allow me to retort: perhaps you should consider a career in stand-up comedy. your talent for delivering insults with such gusto could surely fill arenas. in the meantime, i'll be sure to treasure your unsolicited advice in the same manner i do a soggy piece of bread.
yours truly (and nonchalantly),
shellfishlovr :P