// heads up, very lax talk abt suicide
This really made me melancholic which, tbh , I kinda already guessed I was gonna feel even before I downloaded the game. In a lot of ways, this reminded me of the suicide note I had written a few years ago. I had talked about regrets, my family, my friends. I talked about dreams I had dedicated my life to and how that passion wasn't enough to make me want to stay alive. I talked about feeling tired and wishing I could close my eyes and never open them again. There were a lot of things I said which the game reminded me of and it kinda makes me smile cause, "Oh, I guess I wasn't the only one thinking that."
The narrator talking about how much effort it is to try to die and I wanted to laugh cause true! I remember when I reached out to a professional, I talked about how even if I wanted to die, it was so fucking bothersome to figure out how to do it. I talked about various methods and why those weren't feasible or realistic or how I couldn't do any of those without being questioned. I had told them that in a joking manner, but I did seriously think about which way was the easiest to go.
Besides myself, it did also make me think of my friends, a few of which have attempted. They were unsuccessful, thankfully but sometimes when things are too quiet I go check on them. Tbh, I think the idea of suicide never leaves you, even if you've gotten better. The thought isn't that prominent but sometimes they sit at the back of your head, whispering, tugging at the sleeves of your clothes, and telling you to look at them. I'm better now. God, so much better. But yeah, it's still there.
Idk what else to say really, it's very straightforward. Not much theatrics. Like yeah, I'd believe this was someone's last words. For the sake of saying something objective, the medium was really helpful in creating the overall mood. No GUIs, no choices, nothing pretty cause yeah the game is not getting finished but there are beats. Pauses. So yeah, that helps in creating the visual image of a rambling narrator. If this was executed in a different medium it wouldn't be as effective.
anyways, nice game. made me think a lot and reflect. i'm glad to still be here.