CHATTER WHAT
WHAT
WHAT IS THIS ESSAY
I'M SOBBING
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THIS???????????? YOU'RE SLAYIN' ME OVER HERE MY GOD????? TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE?????
Now I have to somehow craft a semi-cohesive response while I suffer from intense emotional overwhelm and the tears decorate my keys... /over-dramatic
But I digress.
Reading this truly made me tear up. And I feel like nothing I say will come close to like, getting across how much it has emotionally affected me. Nor how much it means to me that you would take so much time to not only play but then write something so beautiful and heartfelt and kind 😭💕 So I also apologize in advance if my response feels a little aLl oVeR tHe pLaCe and rambly LOL
I'm glad you liked how it started... 🥺 I had a lot of fun with the cabin scenes in general. Partly because I just enjoy writing small warm little moments (and silly banter) but also just seeing these four finally all together having reached this final resting point felt somehow very monumental to me (I got emotional the first time I put all three LIs' sprite on screen at the same time alkdjfas). Though I was admittedly also slightly worried as because of my decisions in how to release the Arc 5 parts I wasn't sure if it (as well as the resulting Final Choice scenes) would be a weird place to just jump into after the break between 5.15 and finale release. (And now I'm also curious about how different it would feel as a player who'd played 5.15 and been waiting for the finale compared to somehow who plays Arc 5 for the first time all the way through without any of the breaks.......... 🤔 I DIGRESS THOUGH.
PLAYING GENZOU'S ROUTE FIRST LKAJDFASD I'm really curious what order a lot of people went in 🤭 Almost makes me wish I had a way to keep track or something hahaha. His scene though is extremely precious to me... it was also the first of the LI scenes that I wrote. And we all know Genzy holds a special place in my heart.... GUHHH. So just. Mfmmkmfdajdsfadfj it's very important to me LOLOL I LOVE THEM SO DEARLY MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY. So I'm glad you enjoyed it... 🥺
I'M GLAD YOU LIKED THE PHONE CALL PART. Tbh it was one of those things that I wasn't quite sure how to handle and it wasn't until I was actively working on the finale that it kinda formed. Mostly from like, really thinking back through some of the key themes and the dreams in particular. How each dream had been something that Iggy needed to do in order to reach the center. The importance of the cabin and the door. And then perhaps somewhat cheekily harking back to the fact that I had originally been going to release the middle arcs in such a way that you could do them in any order, so Iggy's choice of who to call felt even more ~ baked in ~ to kinda the overarching narrative. It just somehow felt fitting as a callback, to him being vulnerable enough to reach out to the person he had chosen. Idk. I wasn't quite sure if people would get what I was going for (or if it would even be that big of a deal for people to get it in the end lakdfjad) but hearing that you did enjoy it and resonated with its inclusion is kinda making me really happy right now lol.
Bucks's part was another where I was hoping it would "be enough" (then again that's kinda the theme of this whole finale... me worrying every single scene will somehow "be enough" for the build-up that preceded it; that the finale as a whole would "be enough" to act as a satisfactory ending to the whole story and the chars and their arcs). The structure and build-up in general felt like it necessitated Bucks's part to come at the end, and I'm not one to go against my instincts in these things usually LOL But I wanted to make sure it didn't feel like it was just glossed over and that it did indeed have a reason and purpose for being there. So I tried to make the flashbacks and cutscene and the whole fight and honestly just everything, I just really tried to put my soul in it and make it feel quite intense and conclusive for her arc (even if not everything is obviously solved, but somehow there's some emotional catharsis, at least for the time being for them to be able to pull themselves together and fix the rest of this thing once and for all hahaha). I had a lot of fun with the flashbacks in particular though, as I really love show bits and pieces of the group dynamics throughout the years, even in these ones had that constant twinge of sadness to them when you looked at them all together... sob.
"I got confirmation that the Iggy in each route WAS bent into a shape to please his companion of choice!" --> LKDFJADSF YESSSSSSSS. I was kinda jazzed about finally including this confirmation myself. Mostly because there were so many times throughout production when people would ask questions and I would be like... I JUST WANT TO SAY WHY. I WANT TO SAY WHY IGGY WAS LIKE THAT. BUT I CAN'T REALLY. I CAN ONLY KINDA GIVE VAGUE HINTS. BUT I WANT TO SO BADLY. Particularly in Arc 3, which is the most obvious shift in Iggy's behavior. But even in Arc 2, why it was so easy for his heart to kind of naturally shelter itself in Genzou, and in Arc 4, particularly leading up to the bedroom scene at least, where he was mostly going along with Gidget (until even wonderland couldn't influence him enough to go all the way with it). But just like. That has become who Iggy is because of the wish that he made. Malleable to an extent, so as to make his friends happy. Except that no matter how he's influenced and changed, it never truly works, at least not the way Iggy would hope. Because making one friend happy leads to problems with the others. So in the end no one is happy. And the futility of devoting yourself to the happiness of others is all the more evident. The endless cycles of trying but failing to make everyone but himself happy.
Sob.
See now I'm rambling a bit LKDJFASLD But this part in general was just so important to me... the whole field scene and the reveal. I had a really hard time working on it and had to take multiple breaks because I kept starting to cry LOL It was a part in general that hit really close to home for me personally.
"I LOVE how you aren't given a choice to break the cycle" --> WEEP I'M GLADDDDDD. It got very meta there by the end. Not only with the tree referencing others making choices for Iggy as a direct call-out of the ppl playing the game, but then using the choice mechanic to show Iggy making his own choice and taking it away from the player. Another one of those things I really loved adding personally but that I was worried about the response LKDJFALSKDFA
"I love the fact that they still all make the same mistakes" --> Sob I'm so happy you liked the ending in general. It was probably the biggest of everything that I was worried about, and I know there will be some that don't agree with it. But it's what felt right to me for what needed to happen. Not only from a story and lore perspective but perhaps a bit selfishly for me and for these characters. Obviously I can't make their lives perfect now. That's not what this game is about. And I wanted to show that even with at least some subconscious knowledge of their other lives, they can't "correct" everything because so much of your life is out of your control to begin with. Even your own mistakes are out of your control. Because we all make mistakes. But there are things we can do after the fact to try and make up for those mistakes. And so often that is what really matters. (Ok so maybe things like cold-blooded murder wouldn't count for something like this BUT I MEAN MORE LIKE IN THE RELATIVELY NORMAL COURSE OF ONE'S LIFE.) And to that same end I wanted to show how much even small changes to try and fix mistakes or change responses to things can help make things better. Not perfect ofc. But at least better. Because yeah each of them still has plenty of issues they need to work through, both in themselves and with each other, but they were better able to find themselves and figure themselves out and have more of the support necessary to do that, giving them more control over their own lives.
I'M RAMBLING AGAIN SOMEONE STOP ME LKASDJFLAKSDFA But see this is what all your words are doing to me they just make me want to talk and talk and talk because they make me so happy and also so thoughtful and excited lkadjfad
I'M SO GLAD YOU PLAYED ALL THE ENDINGS???? Even the neutral one LKDJFADS IT WAS A CHEEKY LITTLE EASTER EGG TO MAKE THE NEUTRAL ONE TO CONNECT TO OC HAHAHAHA. It felt like a little treat to add. Not only for players so they can still see something rather sweet and surprising even in the neutral route. But also for myself, because it can leave me with warm thoughts that even if Iggy doesn't pick someone he still has the chance to find companionship with someone later on after he's spent more time just focusing on himself first.
Ahhhhh... not you listing out all the themes... 🥺 I feel like I could not even list out all the themes LKDFAJSDFA This is so lovely for me to read as the creator LOL I'm really bad in general at trying to analyze works for themes and motives, even in my own work. Since so much of what I do just kinda happens as I'm writing and thoughting and barley any of it is planned, so it's all just this vibesy exploration that somehow comes through at the end still working (IF I'M LUCKY). So having someone tell ME what the themes are is honestly so helpful for me to also take a closer look at my work and what it's doing and why hahaha. "And it shows how even the smallest actions can change their lives so much." --> Sob sob yes... this one hit me pretty hard. That we don't need to do these grand showcases of pure and selfless friendship. That sometimes all it takes is a kind word or act to show that you care. To think about someone and check in on them. Because god knows I need to also do this a lot more often as it's something I really struggle with, friendship in general. And letting friendships fall away because it always feels like it requires so much energy. But does it though? Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you just need to be able to show that you care. Idk. SOB.
" In the end, he breaks free from any sort of expectation, any sort of need to PLEASE anyone, to make anyone happy - and makes his own choice, for his own happiness." --> TEARS RUNNING A DELUGE DOWN MY FAAAAAAAAAAACE. Also that you brought up the "mask " thing because only upon like looking back over especially the Arc 5 and finale stuff did I realize just what a running theme that had become without even thinking about it. Which is also a big theme of my own life I feel sometimes. So maybe it's why it got itself so rooted into the OW narrative. But just this idea of never really letting your true self out. Whether that's because you want to fit in. Because you're terrified of change. You're an anxious wreck. You feel like no one will like the feel real. (Or all of the above LKJADFA) But that the more that you do that, the more you change yourself for those around you. The harder it will be to see your true self. To the point that you might lose it entirely.
God sob your words at the end. Now I'm really really gonna cry. Thank you SO MUCH, Chatter. For being so open and thoughtful and for writing such heartfelt things and for always showing me so much even about my own works. COMING FROM YOU??? ESPECIALLY??? LIKE SOMEONE WHOSE WORKS ARE SO AMAZING AND ALWAYS LEAVE ME IN AWE AND INSPIRATION???? I shall melt down into a pile of goo right here in this chair I SWEAR IT I WILL LKDJADF Seriously though, it means more than the whole world hearing that. And I'm so so glad not only that you would take your time to play and write such lovely things about the game but also that you would be such an amazing friend and an amazing fellow dev and always being so sweet and kind and thoughtful to others. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for joining me along this journey and being here and lending so much of your support and encouragement to me and my games!! THANK YOUUUUUUUU.............. and now before I really lose it and jump into a well I'm going to stop rambling incoherently and attempt to get myself under control LMAO 🤣💦💕