(thank you so much, this gave me the push to actually talk to someone, I think I might finally get out of this rut... thank you so much...)
I'm back, good news. For the first time in what seems like forever, I can tell the difference between my own fake smiles and real ones. I can attest that all to you and this game. Genuinely thank you, so, so much. If anyone else stumbles across this, please, reach out to someone, it doesn't matter who, just someone who can help. It will work, if you don't believe in yourself, believe in them and THEIR ability to help you. If not for yourself, then for the people around you, me, and the amazing dev behind this game, sit down and just SPEAK with someone. No matter how difficult it seems, it will help, in one way or another.