Glad my long comment was appreciated!
As for the activist thing: Having read the part about her talk with Laura later on it’s clear to me as well that the things she said were based what Laura told her back then, however when I first read the story and came to the part where she argues with Mr. P. my initial reaction was that it’s really odd how much she sounds like she’s just been waiting for a moment to finally and thoroughly tell someone how wrong it is “to do that”.
…
Ok, so I reread their dialog now and it’s not as bad as I put it… (sorry! 😊)
But since I already have the script open, I might as quote the part I found so odd (some emphasis added):
#PROF. PASCAL [filter layer=“0” name=“PROF” brightness =100 ] With what?[p]
#HANNAH Everything![p] I bet everyone is constantly talking behind your back, making fun of you.[p] I mean, that’s not normal to begin with.[p] It’s impossible to like people of the same sex.[p]
^ It’s not much, but these parts make the whole thing feel just too much like she had prior practice saying these things vs just blurting it out.
#PROF. PASCAL [filter layer=“0” name=“PROF” brightness =100 ] … [wait time=400]What makes you say that?[p]
#HANNAH That’s just not how humans are made.[p] Everything about us is proof that men and women should be together, simple as that.[p]
^ Just pointing it out because of the above, this is very minor but it again feels just a little bit too pre-studied to be something she’d just blurt out. Doubt it’d be noticeable if it weren’t for the previous lines.
#PROF. PASCAL [filter layer=“0” name=“PROF” brightness =100 ] So what’s the deal with abnormal people like me?[p]
#HANNAH Why should I know?[p] You’re confused?[p] Maybe it’s a mental illness?[p] It doesn’t really matter.[p]
… then he confronts her about the fact that she’s not making much sense and she starts to actually stumble (didn’t remember this part when writing my previous comment it seems!):
#PROF. PASCAL [filter layer=“0” name=“PROF” brightness =100 ] That’s not like you, Hannah. [wait time=400]You are a scientist, you need to be more rational than that.[p] If you firmly believe that homosexuality isn’t normal, you should be able to offer a solid argument and decisive proof.[p]
#HANNAH I mean, it’s just wrong…[p] That’s… That’s not how it’s supposed to be.[p] If you care about your friends, you should understand… that you’re only hurting the people around you…[p]
^ Much better (the extra “that“ could go, but again super minor)
… so long story short, it just felt too pre-studied on her end and given how strong the subject matter is that made it feel like she really, really meant to be homophobic, when it’s obviously not what was intended. I really hope this doesn’t sound like nitpicking – given the strong subject matter these minor things, at least for me, just made the whole thing feel extremely off and that’s what I was trying to get at.
Also sorry for the bad comparison there, I really thought about whether I should leave that part in but ultimately decided to just send it as-is and finally head to bed… Also didn’t have the script to reread until just now, so some of it was more first impressions while other parts were written with more hindsight which probably didn’t help either…
Really tried to be constructive about this the whole time, hope that shows! 😊