I overlooked this when I saw it a few months ago but I'm glad I came back and took time to read it. 👍 A few spots here and there that seem a bit rushed I'd say it was a great read, keep it up!
I reread the part I was thinking of.
so it was right before they cuddle in bed I guess a couple weeks went by where they didn't really interact at all, it felt a bit fast for them to suddenly just sleep in the same bed. I wish they had some sort of interaction prior during the day Maybe they finally got a chance to hang out again ya know?
I kind of felt the same way when he got with atlas they apparently never interact much anymore to just suddenly hooking up. Some build up like them interacting and hanging out again prior for a few days with a little tension would be nice.
You said it's not a romance novel but two instances of romance that seem to add major plot points to the story have happened and they felt a bit sudden or rushed leading up to the instances.
But fr it's not really a big deal and I still love what you have so far :)
Hi again!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I do see you have a preference for, perhaps, a slow-burn style where things are prepared in advance, there is some build-up and then there is release. But things don't always happen like that in real-life scenarios or even fictional ones. Sometimes there is no hanging out, talking about nothing in particular, and ending up together be it sexually or otherwise.
What you are describing are beats from romantic dating sims or plots, which are great genres in themselves, but also somewhat predictive and a tad slow. It could be that you are applying the same story structure those genres have to this novel. It's not a bad thing. In fact, it goes to show that you gave some thought to how the story is advancing and that means it got you immersed in it to care enough to write a comment :)
**spoiler alert for the following paragraph**
If you re-read the part, for example, where Lucian and Atlas meet up again after their hook-up, we find out why both of them did what they did because they talk about it. Their actions were normal based on the situation and nothing was rushed in terms of the "why". As for Darius, he also explains his reasons and Lucian gives in because he wants to be a good friend. All of their reactions are based on their unique circumstances, not necessarily on a predetermined narrative structure.
Consider reading this story with a different structure in mind, or better yet, try to let yourself be surprised by what can happen. Many more pleasurable and unique moments can arise from chaotic, rushed, and sudden turn of events than from the slow and often predictable ones.
Looking forward to your thoughts on Chapter 4. Let's see if it captivates you just as much as the previous ones!
- H.M.