I like the idea of a military group rebelling against authority and working with the people they were oppressing. I wish you had gotten to that idea a little sooner, so we could see the effects of that alliance.
Unfortunately, it feels like your prose got in the way of the story you're trying to tell. Having just two long paragraphs left the whole thing feeling rushed, and you really could have done with a quick check for typos.
Thanks for submitting! I hope to read something from you again next time