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Writing for sure needs some more attention.  I hadn't gotten anyone besides myself to read it over so I wasn't sure what needed to be improved. So this points me in the right direction. 

Thanks for the honest feedback, it really helps a lot.

No problem! It's easy to be discouraged when faced with critique, but feedback is a key ingredient in learning anything, so keep the process up—you do have something interesting here. 

I'll try to keep an eye open on your project for any future updates so I can provide you more feedback. :)