Of course, oh my gosh sorry for not replying sooner! I think a lot of the strength of your writing here was in character voices and balancing humor and horror. There were some times when the characters' dialogue felt a little too cheeky/self-aware, but I feel like that helped with the game's meta-ness and overall theme. I was able to predict all the deaths because I'm a bit of a horror fanatic, but I never felt bored by the story. A lot of the main character's comments felt grounded yet hilariously self-aware.
I remember really being excited by the Entity's thought process about fear and feeding off of the electricity inside our brains. That's such a fun concept and the Entity's dialogue was also very enjoyable. Also, I picked up really early on about the spooky-living code stuff from the notes, so it wasn't a big surprise to me when the killer turned out to be the game's boss come to life. That being said, it was a fun spin to make it an AI that has sort of reached the singularity and is trying to become human in a sense. (Now that I'm typing this, maybe it feeds on fear/our brains because humans are the one thing it does not have infinite access to as AI...what does it mean to be human and is fear part of our universal experience...philosophy is fun)
I think my biggest point of feedback would be to narrow the focus of the Entity down a bit. You bring up ideas of it hunting down those who think they can beat it, the fact that it is living electricity (sort of), how it feeds on fear and/or electricity, and I feel like I remember supernatural elements, but it's been a hot second. While all of these are really interesting on their own, they feel a little disjointed and I wish I could see them all come together a bit more throughout the story or focus on one or two. For example, if it feeds on fear then perhaps it really likes the fear that happens when someone who thinks they can beat it finally loses hope. I feel like narrowing it down and building this central theme of either feasting on fear, living electricity, etc. etc. etc. could help give a cool central thesis/message to the whole thing! There's also a whole part at the end about the voyeuristic pleasure we as audience members get from watching pain and fear on our screens, maybe that's the central message of the game and you can pepper that in throughout the game leading up to the end.
Though all the above is really to say to punch up (basically amp up to 11) the themes while narrowing in on what message you want the writing to send! I'll need to replay it to think of more specifics, but that's certainly what I remember. When I was playing, my partner was watching and I remember rambling about my analysis of the Entity to them especially at the end, :D
Okay enough rambling, hopefully, there were some useful things in here! I'd love to chat more!
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Thanks so much for the reply! I'm really glad to see that you engaged with the themes as much as you did, you picked up on all the important themes I wanted to convey. The concept, purpose and origin of the Entity shifted a lot during development because I was trying to make it fit in as best as I could with the actual ending. I'm pretty satisfied with the conclusion I reached with it (powered by fear, manifested physically by electricity) but there are some parts of the dialogue that could better reflect that direction so I'm definitely going to take your advice re: narrowing down the focus and setting up the actual ending a bit better thematically.
We're going to work on an updated version in the (relativaely near) future, taking all the great feedback we got into account, and it would be really cool if you could give it a spin whenever that happens! And again: thanks so much for taking the time to reply! If you have any other advice or feedback or anything else really then hit me up, I'd love to chat more as well!