SPOILERS
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When I inherited this property from my beloved father-in-law I did not expect it to come with the horrors. Plenty o' good land out here but I am not allowed to pet the wildlife, there's a dog that keeps knocking on my door but i never catch him in time :(. Someone keeps playing clown music at ungodly hours of the night (PLEASE LINK ME TO HOA) and i haven't slept in 5 days. My wife's family keeps checking in on me though I'm so happy they keep asking if im still alive. For some reason that damn bird wont leave me alone my sleep deprivation has gotten to the point where its talking. I can't get the tenant in my well to pay rent & the government "doesn't have jurisdiction" in "haunted places" (HIRING MERCENARIES AT $3/HR+tips😊). Been trying to get my wife to move in but all she says is I should "sign the divorce papers" or something, but its okay she'll let me see the kids when i become a rich farmer. Contact me at u/pumpDaddy on reddit for job applications.
10/10 - Would cheat on my wife again