Hey ! This has potential, your characters seem cool, I'd be happy to see where the story is going :)
I just have a few questions/remarks : at some point, you go from "you" to "I", and from present tense to past tense. Was it intentional ?
Also, I love the poetic style of the descriptions, but I feel it is sometimes damaged by repetitions of a word from a sentence to another (whisper, echo, groan, weave...) Maybe it's a choice, and a matter of personal taste (I may be the only one bothered by this, if so, apologies) but just in case it's inattention, I thought I'd signal it. I write too, and it's stuff I do sometimes, that's why it caught my eye ^^
Again, I like where this is headed ! And I'm sorry if my comment comes of as rude or harsh, it's not the intention ! I love reading people's stories, and I want to read the rest of yours !
I just wanted to help a bit by sharing some things that stroke me as odd
Have a good day !