nope
My parents won't let me get it because there's "to many pedophiles"
I'm okay now probably.
So INFINITY TRAIN RIGHT
Basically it's a train that kidnaps people and forces them to deal with their problems.
Each season follows a new character(s) so I'll go through the season one by one in order of how we as the viewer see it.
Book 1, Tulip Olsen.
Tulip is a 13 year old girl whose parents are divorced. The first episode immediately sets up Tulips main problem, her inability to deal with the divorce, and her denial that she's having trouble dealing with it.
This is shown in when her friends asks if it's weird now and she shuts her off saying that lots of people's parents get divorced, it's fine, and also when her mom says Tulip's dad can't take Tulip to coding camp cause of scheduling issues and she blows up at her and blames the divorce for everything.
After this, Tulip decides that if no one else will take her to coding camp, she'll go there herself.
So she packs her stuff and puts on her BIG BOOTS
idk why her boots make me so happy, they're just a giant pair of boots and I love it. Anyway, she gets ready and leaves through her window to start... running to Oshkosh (the place where Coding Camp is) that's just her plan. Run there. Might be like idk a few weeks late but you'll get there- not the point, sorry, I'll continue.
She starts running and the sun sets. Suddenly a train appears in front of her, a regular, normal train, and just as it pulls into the station, it changes the destination to Oshkosh, the place where Tulip is trying to go...
Now before I continue, it's a little concerning that it changed its destination like that, because that train is definitely not going to Oshkosh. It's tricking her into getting on the train, not letting her get on at her own free will. Keep that in mind, we'll talk more on it later.
So Tulip enters the train without a second thought, a little weird considering she's quite the analytical mind and she would probably question it at least a bit before going on, I mean it's a train in the middle of nowhere, but whatever.
Tulip enters the train and is transported onto the real train where she meets One-One. A denizen of the train.
One-One tells her that he's looking for his mom, and omg One-One is just... I love him, he's so great, omg.
Okay listen I'm gonna just send this now and continue later cause I'm scared if the page reloading.
OKAY OMG OKAY WE BACK
So One-One is looking for his mom.
oh this is one-one btw:
anyway Tulip starts ditching One-One, or trying to, he just follows her, and she walks until she finds a door. One-One says it's impossible to open (this is important) and Tulip opens it, this is when she notices she's actually on a train, previously she thought she just fell asleep and dreamt up a train, so she starts asking questions, but less confused wtf where am I questions more wow this is so cool how does it work questions... it only goes downhill from here.
So she runs into the next train car, the Grid Car, the car this episode is centered around. So basically if you press on a grid it makes a little cube sort of, and you can just build up these cubes into whatever you want. So Tulip and One-One are having fun, Tulip tells One-One about her game and One-One tells Tulip his name, One-One.
Tulip throws her glove at the ceiling cause ✨Ceiling Cube✨ and when she goes to put her glove back on, she's got a glowing number on her hand... this is when the panic begins.
The train stops and Tulip runs out to see what's going on, and sees the wonderful view of "this is not where I fucking live where am I?" and witnesses someone get fucking evaporated so... yk, traumatized, great stuff. She gets off the train and tries to run back home... again, what's with her and running to places she probably can't run to?
Whatever- anyway, she gets stuck in some mud, and it gets EVEN WORSE as these weird cockroach demon things just crawl up out of the ground to ask about Tulip's car's extended warranty, and she, naturally runs the fuck away from them because fuck that, frogs are bitches, and we don't negotiate with weird cockroach demon things, I'm not sure if you even get that reference, but if you do, damn, are you okay?
So she runs back into the grid car and almost gets the life sucked out of her by one of the cockroach demons, at which point One-One saves her by, SPLITTING IN TWO
and hitting the cockroach demon thing in the face. Tulip asks One-One to make a wall, which he does, trapping the cockroach demon and allowing Tulip to escape. Our first episode ends here... fun.
Next episode is The Beach Car, the episode where we meet Randall and the only character that shows up in every single season, The Cat.
I'm feeling very nauseous rn cause writing a lot makes me feel dizzy so give me some time to compose myself.
LETS GO SPEEDRUN
Beach Car, Tulip finds a cat who claims to know the conductor trying to sell a broken pipe marketed as a "donut holer" to a dude made out of water named Randall (voiced by Rhys Darby). She asks the cat to talk to the conductor to get Tulip off the train, the cat agrees but she asks for One-One as payment. Tulip then realizes that she doesn't want to sell One-One so she enlists the help of Randall to get him back. (note: the cat is weirdly interested in One-One)
NEXT EPISODE GO, The Corgi Car, Tulip tries to speed through the cars (not making much progress on her number going down) and makes it to a place called Corginia and meets Atticus, king of the Corgis, who offers her a nice sunbeam to lie in, Tulip says she just has to get to the exit. Shadow monster shows up on top of the hills, shadow monster turns out to just be a little spider- PSYCH the monster is real, and it's not a monster, it's a machine, this is the Steward, it's stealing glowing blue orbs, Tulip fights it off, Atticus joins the gang to get revenge for his Corgi kingdom that was attacked by the Steward.
NEXT EPISODE GO, The Crystal Car, little crystal man says to open the door you have to sing an emotional or important song, Atticus tries singing the song of his people (he howls) and One-One tries singing the song of his people (that dial-up internet sound) when both fail because the crystal can only recognize actual words Tulip tries to sing multiple songs, love songs, breakup songs, sad songs, just any song that has an emotion behind it, none work. The crystal man is like "your song, not my song, your heart, not my heart" (idk why but that line... made me not okay, after hearing it I was just like never okay again, also the crystal man can't speak so he said all of this charades style which just... makes it worse) so Tulip is like "oh, it has to mean something to me personally." and so she sings a song she used to sing on road trips with her parents and it's not at all an emotional song it's Word Up by Little Mix, but it means something to Tulip and it's part of her personal life so it works and Tulip gets the exit. I'm so not okay, this entire show is just not okay, I love it, but, damn, why would you hurt me like that.
Next is The Cat's Car... THIS EPISODE WAS SO NOT OKAY LIKE BRO BRO BRO WTF BRO WTF
So The Cat's Car. Tulip ends up in The Cat's car, yk the one that tried to take One-One, and the cat shows Tulip a tape of her own memories claiming it will help her on her leave the train, so Tulip watches her tape, and she basically gets transported into her own memories.
She sees happy memories of her having fun with her friend or singing Word Up on a road trip with her parents, or even going to DolphWorld, a marine park place. These all seem like normal happy memories, until it gets to one memory... Tulip is at home and she sees herself go into the living room, there's an ad on tv for a "donut holer" which is "certainly not a scam!" as Atticus, the advertiser, says. She then looks over at herself sitting in front of a couch and placing a cover on seemingly nothing... there's an indistinct and muffled talking noise as Tulip's memory sits eerily still with an unmoving smile on her face. Tulip tries to hear what the muffled talking is and the memory starts glitching.
Tulip retreats into another happy memory, but once again something isn't right with it, this time it's her at a table with both her parents and all of them wearing "family 4 ever" shirts and the memory is eerily enthusiastic and all their smiles in the memory are unnaturally big, the memory isn't real, it's a fake happy memory to make it seem like everything was happier then, Tulip runs and suddenly static starts taking over her body as she panics and questions what's going on and why her memories aren't right.
She's back in DolphWorld and... this wasn't a happy memory. DolphWorld wasn't a good marine park at all, it was cheap and bad, and Tulip couldn't even see as she needed glasses, her parents had also been fighting. DolphWorld was a horrible memory... she's back in the living room of her house... the ad on the TV isn't supposed to be there, it's not a real ad. The real ad was Harry the Bike Guy, and he says "it isn't a sham, I am!" she wasn't placing a cover on nothing, she was covering her dad who was sleeping on the couch and crying... the static retreats.
She's back at the dining table, this time, it's a memory of them telling Tulip about the divorce, the memory is horrible altered and the room is on fire and her parents turn into demons as she cries... Tulip fixes the memory and remembers what REALLY happened... her parents are calmly talking to her... trying to let her know gently and trying to be sensitive about how she might feel... Tulip says she's okay when they ask her, once again, she's denying being upset about it, her parents try to talk to her, but she's closing off... she snaps at them and blames them for the divorce claiming that things were fine before... no one else was messing with Tulip's memories... she was.
Her "happy" memories are just proof that her parents weren't happy together. The static fully retreats and Tulip goes back into the real world, exiting her memories. She gets angry and puts her glove back on deciding that she won't look at her number at all, once again refusing to deal with her problems and refusing to acknowledge that she's not okay. She then leaves the cat's car and the episode ends.
...this episode literally... broke me... and there's still 5 more episodes this season... oh boy