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Optional routes in a terms of an optional girls? You did a vague term description.

I'd not suggest it. This optional girl can be loveable, and if she will lock with an (for instance) BDSM route, it means the guys which against DBSM will not able to date her. 
To make it work (like, really) you will have to make two routes for this one girl (one kinky route and one classic, "vanilla"). And if you asking just this - should you making two routes (for players can choose) - than yes. This is your solution, and it will cost you double work on this, but it will pays with LP flexibility and appreciation by more players.

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That is the worst solution of all. It means that you will always miss out on one route, no matter how you choose. One of the main draws of harem games is that you're not forced to drop one route for another, that you can have all the girls and all the events if you want.

It's also the least flexible model of all. If you have events ABCD, then making A and C mutually exclusive allows only ABD and ACD paths, whereas optional routes allow AD, ABD, ACD, and ABCD. 

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Probably, i didn't explain it clear:
My thought: you making A event twice: A with vanilla kink and A' with BDSM kink. They are mutually exclusive, but has very same outcome. This way player will do A event but with the way he prefer.

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That's not the same event though, even if you use deceptive variable lettering. There's quite a difference between the same event and the same outcome. 

And that's only if I was willing to accept the false idea that the outcome can be the same when you're clearly continuing on a path with a different history of events - which I'm not.

horrible solution, he doesn't have to make every girl have a scene that everyone would enjoy. thats just ridiculous. the amount of work you would have to do to include the various kinks with the different girls is absurd. not every porn game will fit your tastes, no game will fit everyone's tastes, it's a waste of resources to even try because of the added length of development with diminished productivity.

There was a question - there was an answer. It's only for the asker's attention. You don't need to criticize other's opinions, it's rude, since you wasn't asked, give yours instead. It's only the developer, who was intended to read and use it, or ignore it, up to his liking.   =)

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i did answer and its a forum I can read and reply to whomever I wish. I also chose to criticize a stupid answer, because I wanted to let someone know their opinion is horrible for the development of games since they clearly don't understand the effort they can take to make. I am aware I didn't need to criticize it since no indie ero game dev is gonna go through that kind of effort i simply wanted to.