I heard that this story is heavily inspired by you and i'm sorry to hear and i hope you are better now.
This spectral_apertif probably has some issues too but they let it out on you which isn't cool especially if that happened a lot. I hope they can get help/therapy or work through it without therapy little by little before going into another relationship because they were pretty toxic and gaslighting. Even if someone struggles they shouldn't let it out on someone! I'm not saying that it's easy or that it is possible for it to NEVER happen it's human for us to screw up but it's important to acknowledge it, apologize for it and really actively working on it with either a professional or maybe find a real life or online group where you can talk about that sort of things! Doing it all on your own is most likely not possible or kinda expect your partner to be your therapist ain't it either (There is a big difference between being a supporting and loving partner and always trying to help your partner cope i.e there is not an actually healthy romantic relationship it's mostly you/them helping and the other/you getting help from you/them). And if the two latter are the case then maybe you aren't ready for a romantic relationship just yet. NOT including friendships, and people who support you in general YA'LL DESERVE TO BE LOVED but i mean a long and lasting relationship takes effort. After a while you get out of the "honymoon phase" and at that point (even before too but crucial at this point) you have to really work together and such to make it long/"forever" lasting. But there is a saying "You can't pour from an empty cup" which means you can't give if you don't take care of yourself first (a healthy relationship is about give and take and if one is doing too much or too little it won't work out well because you or your partner will feel overwhelmed, guilty or neglected most likely if it feel one sided)
Sorry for the long ramble XD
I also wasn't trying to be the "i think i know how every relationship works" dating advice person. There are always exceptions in everything. This perspective wasn't one of someone who dates and kinda assumes that they know it all just because of dating experiences. It was more of someone who is interested in psychology, human behavior/patterns and who also informs themselves about what it takes for long lasting relationships (because that is possible even science says so!). And i kinda used that general knowledge because we all are humans and have most likely similar needs. But don't let that discourage you or anything because again nothing can be fix black or white (nothing even is black or white if we are being honest)
Uff i kept rambling -,- i at least hope people who bothered to read it have understood what i meant XD
Take care ^^