hey, buddy!
Are you're doing well? Hope those harsh words in other comments didn't get to you too much.
Let's start this long text comment with some sweetness you deserve:
You did well
You are great in telling a story
And thanks for not letting this wonderful work down to the trash can!
Despite there are so many furry VNs spoiling readers now, creating a vn never becomes a easy job. The story, writing, bgm, sprite, cgs, and etc.. Its impossible for a single person to get those things well done even with 24hr/7day working schedule, let alone you have your heavy school things right now. The language is necessary but sadly not the first priority issue. (Trust me, I have read some ultimately confusing vns written in my native language.) You have been fighting so long all by yourself for making this vn real without any other help and supports, just your passion. Simply this fact alone is more than enough earn yourself a applause.
You have a hug from this fan if you need :)
And here comes my real and honest comments. Don't worry, its not bad :)
***spoiler***
First and important, I am not native English user, but I don't have problems understanding your words. The language comprehension process influenced by both the reader's and the writer's native language, yet hiring a professional editor is too luxury for most creator…
As mentuoned before, it inevitable but not the first priority to optmise your English writing ifbyou got the time or resourses. At least you are writing in English by yourself instead of translating with software and just copy-paste it, you're already better than many others.
Second, I don't know whether it's proper or not if you use the picture with store logo… I'm not critcizing, but only worrying if this would get yourself some troubles.
The music, font and UI was ok, but here's some opinion about the story:
The password scene was kind of popping out of nowhere. It's a easy one for me since I happened liked the song and paiting 'starry night' and he is quite famous, but that knowledge still count as a bit profession-wise infomations. Maybe considering add the puzzle theme in the tags and describtion of itchio page, or adding some compensation like add calling the boss for answer as an extra option once you have tried the wrong password. Trying narrowing down the puzzle field to a simply logic one is still recommended, unless you are identify your target readers to some specific ones.
And that scene brings a another thought: why the owner put the money in the vault and bothered put hints around it? Wouldn't that fitting common sense more if owner just pay mc later tomorrow, or handed to mc before left since he seemed trust mc enough without doubting mc might just grab the money and go?
But
If the owner is some kind of detective maniac and love to make his employee doing some puzzles before getting payment, then this is a great and intresting way to introduce the charactor lol.
The deliver dude…I think she is the most well-written charactor, the body language and how she interact with mc successfully impress me as a experienced underworld sly guy, but leave a warning in the end showing a little kindness in the corner of her heart.
And the spooky scene…
well, that's new and cute I'm gonna say, though I can't help but think that "mc already know this old trick of Ford, yet act as like totally new to this" is kind of off to me. Maybe there's a perfect way to plot this, but it is already a great one now.
By the way, did you draw Ford's sprite? I like it very much! He's my type XD
Sadly, from this point on, the story telling feels like in a rush. From the conversation between mc snd Ford, I can tell they are good friends now, but if there's more words put into elaborating their careness to each other would be great. Like:add some concerning eyes or lonelyness in the tone when Ford complaining why mc left him alone a week, or tilt his head when Ford unable to understand the revive mechanism, or wagging tail when Ford succed the scaring trick, or a wet eyes after knowing all the efforts of months are for his second chance...etc.
(yes, this is a furry vn, so readers love the twiching ears and wagging tail, the more the merrier lol)
You did very well when describing Ford's reviving process and steping out scenes, so I guess the lack parts are due to your situation of not being able to continue this vn. I am really sorry for your struggle, it is a good start of a good story, yet the time and resources are so little...
Last but most important, please make Ford top lol
(OK I'm just kidding, unless……?)
I guess that's all I could think of right now. I really enjoyed my time reading this vn, I sincerely hope you could also feel proud and happy when think of this achievement some day in the future, no matter you are going to finish this or not.
Have a good life, too, Chocobo-san 😉