I'm certain this is an amazing archive for the way I redirected my creative energies inward as time went on lmfao. Expressing myself and reporting my progress took an abrupt backseat to actually working on the game. The later in the jam it got to be, the more shortwinded, hyperfocused, (and a lil cranky) I became. I was frazzled, lonely, and more than a little stressed, like, all the time. I was possessed by such an obsessive need to work on development that, although I drank lots of water and I got plenty of sleep (except this one night where I stayed up until 4 am planning to do an all-nighter to ensure I finished what I wanted to finish), I could not take a break even when I tried. I kept drifting back to my laptop to work on things "a little bit." Just a little more code. Just a little more art. Just a little more writing.
I felt like a real honest to goodness game developer. Is this what game developers are like?
So uh, it's been a ride, as they say. And I offer the warmest of appreciation to the jam hosts for organizing an event in which I could have a ride. Thank you. This jam arrived at the perfect time in my life, offering the perfect atmosphere and excuse to put my skills and determination to work. I don't know that I'd have ever made a game without it.
I worked super hard. Super super super hard. And it never felt like enough. Until now! Now it feels like enough. :) Now I'm craving a little validation and acknowledgement of my hard work from others, but I'm doing my best not to rely on it either. I know the best tactic for self-love is to love your creations on their own merits, not based on how much other people like them. (This is a philosophy that the character Berry embraces on the surface, though perhaps he struggles with it at times..)
I'm happy to report that I feel much better about everything now that it's over, pleased with my accomplishments and proud of myself for making something from scratch. I'm chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool and FINALLY allowing myself to play video games again. Thank God. I missed video games.
(Context: I have long, periodic self-bans from playing video games to increase personal productivity. It's worked out great, but again, I have missed video games.)
Oh shit son I forgot, yeah, he's doing great dw. Hyper lil bastard but very smart. His name is Nicodemus (which is perhaps the most roundabout allusion to Robin Williams in the world) and I mostly call him Nico and Nico-Nico-Nii. He already loves me and yells at me periodically.
Uhm..... I'm taking a fucking break..
I love you, Pinkmatch my child, but goodbye. I'm gonna actually play some other games (there's many games to choose from here, and I just bought "Nameless" and "To the Moon"), and try to have fun...... Then I'm probably gonna go back to my no-deadline personal project...
Pinkmatch was created exclusively for this game jam, to give me an excuse to participate. No other reason. I may see fit to attempt a full release during a future game jam (with similar time constraints), but for now, I'm tucking Pinkmatch into bed and kissing it good night.
If you (yes you) like my game though, please don't hesitate to leave a comment and a rating. I am easily swayed and I'd love to hear from you.
Soggily signing off for now, with love,
PS, if you for some reason missed my OP edit, you can play my game here.