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(Edit: For anyone reading this who thinks they wouldn't be able play this because of the sibling incest, I would say give it a try anyway. If you've seen Game of Thrones and were able to watch Cersei and Jamie together without getting overwhelmed with disgust and shutting off the TV, it's a similar kind of thing with this game. The MC is incredibly well defined with a super specific backstory and life, so it's literally impossible to self-insert with her. So, it's essentially just like watching Cersei and Jamie Lannister on GoT, something totally outside yourself with a life of its own, and you are just kind of along for the ride on the sidelines.)

I have been playing the Patreon version and I have a lot of thoughts on this game, so I figured this would be a good place to put them. 

I want to preface this by saying that I only have so many points of constructive criticism because I see huge potential in this game, and because I really like it and want it to succeed!

First things first, I like the framing device of the other-wordly beings outside of space and time, and how they occasionally have commentary. I feel like you could do a lot more with this concept, I actually wish they had a bit more to say! For example, the moment where one of them says something like "oh , did you see that shadow in the window?" that would have been a great moment to actually put a subtle shadow there. (I actually rewound the game to see if I missed one but there was nothing haha.)

So, I understand that you need everyone in this universe to be very threatening and scary and basically unstoppable, for story reasons, but after the 30th time of someone saying "we can't call the police/ask anyone for help, it's pointless", it starts to feel a little silly. These start to feel more like supervillains in a comic book than actual human beings after a while, especially when you start to actually think these things out from a logical perspective and brainstorm ways you could actually solve MC's problems (go to the news, record everything on your phone, etc etc,). I have a few ideas for how this could be solved: 

1. Make this a period piece. You could set this in the 70s or 80s to a time when the mafia was an actual, legitimate threat, where no one had a cell phone, where there were no security cameras on every street corner, where the police really *were* useless (particularly when it came to taking things like stalking and harassment seriously) or

2. You could keep the modern setting, but since this is an alternate universe, just make it so there is no police force, perhaps it's some sort of anarchical society ruled by crime with a splash of vigilante justice.

Either one of these would be an improvement, because as it stands now I get extremely distracted by how nonsensical the behavior and actions of the MC are (like, lady, the FBI designed the witness protection program *specifically* with the mafia in mind. Go to your nearest FBI field office and call it a day lol).

Another thing is that it would be nice if there were at least a few happy endings? Granted, I haven't gotten them all, so maybe there is like... one among the 20 or so bad ones, but the shock of the bad endings wears off after like the 4th or 5th one and you just become kinda numb to it, as a player. I think the game would benefit from more of a variety of good vs bad endings to keep things fresh (that being said, I understand if, thematically, you want to keep this theme of "no, it's all bad, life sucks" cus life sure does! haha)

This last thing is more of a minor nitpick, but whoever drew the nude scenes of MC doesn't seem to understand how dark skin works as they gave her like bright pastel pink nipples, despite her being dark-skinned lol. As a POC this really stood out and kinda took me out of the story because I was so flabbergasted when seeing it. Pigmentation on melanin doesn't work like that :) You/the artist can study the figures of dark skinned bodies to see how it normally works for us, if you genuinely didn't know!

Again, I want to emphasize that I think you have a really nice game here, and with some tweaks, my opinion of it would be through the roof. I also love the sprites, it's not often you see sprites in an indie otome game that are actually attractive and pleasing to look at! (Quinn's is my favorite!)

Nice work :)

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Thanks for the feedback, especially of the sprite. I will have that adjusted and give some thought into the others. :)

Due to the overarching plot, there won’t be happy endings in the main story, but there are some in the What If side content, so make sure to check that out if you haven’t yet.

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The police are currently useless for stalking. At least here in England, and I expect in America I'd just get publically executed for having criminal amounts of melanin instead of the stalking being handled; neither is very effective for solving the actual problem. lol

Edit to add: Good shout on the skin colour thing. I find lip and nipple colours usually match (not always) in folks, so I'd probably use that as a colour-matching guide. I'm always sad when brown characters have brown palms, for similar reasons lol.

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I'm in America, and while it's true that stalking cases often aren't handled the way they should, we've come leaps and bounds since the 70s and 80s in regards to the police taking stalking seriously. In fact, the Stalking Awareness nonprofit organization SPARC recommends contacting police as one of the first things you should do. And certain states have extremely robust stalking laws, like California.

Ah yea, that bothers me too!

I don't know if you like anime but Baccano has a lot of ethnicities in it and one of the guys is black and chinese mix and he has pale hands but dark skin. Small details but they mean sooo much :)

RE stalking and police: That's good to know. I'm glad there have been improvements and you feel safe going to the police. In the US you can have self-defence too, we can't have any here, not even pepper spray...

TW for stalking 

|||||Over here it's terrible, I had severe stalking (he could pick locks and was the landlords son so could and would enter my house both when I was in and when I was out). I told the police and they said they couldn't do much and it would be more traumatic to try to go legal with it when it wouldn't amount to much. They said to just vary my routine so stalkers would have a harder time predicting my routine and to keep a record of everything in case something 'more' happened... And this is after he tried to enter my room at 3am when he thought I was asleep (I knew because the police gave me little alarms to put on the bedroom door). I dunno what much more you can get at that point lol ||||