completely agree with the communication bit; but sorta off about the abuse. like, my thought on it ofc. abuse means several different things, but at times, people mistake abuse with discipline. i was raised by my mother most of my life, and discipline was a big thing. doing something wrong made bad consequences come, doing good brought good consequences. now-discipline can go from speaking to getting some what physical.
which, first i’d get the yelling, then the physical portion on it. something that-doesn’t really infuriate me, more or less gets me thinking and gets me defensive, is that, if you parent does physical discipline, it’s immediately abuse. abuse is when the parent KNOWS what they are doing, and have no regret, but they are doing it without a REASON. physical discipline on the other hand, is when you teach a child in a way of what they did wrong, but getting physical because some kids simply just don’t understand with words. difference. difference which people have mistake as “abuse” instead of discipline.
another thing, giving examples to children in real life scenarios. my mom is a big fan of doing physical examples-such as, when a person hurts you mentally, it’s as if you’re walking with a rock in your shoe. but you continue walking because you don’t want to lose them. i’ve had multiple physical examples with my mother, and that way, it sorta just gets the moral to me-but for SOME fucking reason, people immediately take it as a narcissist move. yes, my mom has done fucked up shit to me, but so have I. and it’s OKAY. she’s not perfect, never said i was, neither am i. so-why take her examples as abuse? it doesn’t make sense to me. i’m so happy that i wasn’t raised by my father because HE’S an abuser, not my mom.
i always get things such as: “oh, well, yk, when you’re a parent, you might go off on your kids”. yes, your parents raise you, but, other people can slowly start showing you the right path. i for one know that i won’t get aggressive on my kids, because i’m smarter than that, and especially since i learned that i’m more relaxed than aggressive.