Hello there.
Hmm? I'm a few minutes in the game and i wonder. Why would a dude who can shrug off bullets leave an apparently rather normal girl threaten him and dictate her law in his appartment, steal his food, damage his property and so on?
I'd kick her out and be done with it. I'm usually a white knight type of character in games and honnestly that's the nicest i'd be with the trigger happy vampire hunter wannabe. Other end of the spectrum she'd be dead -because she's a threat to "my own" survival and to others- and potentially raped given that the MC has a raging boner when she comes in guns blazing. I mean if she'd die anyway...
Even better still, assuming i didn't defend myself when the bitch attacked, and did not throw her out just "because". I'd open the door to the cops and tell them about the shooting, that she's armed and deranged. I might omit to mention that she got me though, i mean she doesn't exactly seem like a sharpshooter anyway, and her story about healing abilities wouldn't hold.
Also you seem to be confused between his and hers. His is for male, dudes. Hers is for female, women.
Same with he and she. She is for females, women, girls. He is for males, dudes, boys, men.
So Kuromi, the buxom shop worker, is a SHE, and i definetly did not base my declaration on HER breast... Oh well, i did. Unless she's packing meat down there... I mean you never know...
Speaking of Kuromi, when the MC asks for a douhnut she answer to him by calling him "Player". It could be a nickname, but she doesn't seem to be the type, so i suppose you missed an attempt to make the custom name appear.
"Trigger happy" name is Mina before going to the grocery store and becomes Mikiko after the grocery store. Given that Mina seems to be the vampire's name you have to fix the first part of your given name for the vampire hunter, you got it wrong.
Also when Psychotic Jane Doe -AKA Mikiko or Mina i don't know anymore- is shopping with the Main Character for "their last meal" she says : quote : <<I'm not sure if you bothered to remember my name, Jack, but don't be shy to use it>> Now the thing about it is, one it appears as if said by the Main Character, with his custom name being displayed. Should be Mikiko i assume. And second she names him Jack, wich is not the custom name i chose, might be the default name, or just an easter egg i didn't get.
When Mikiko faces Mina, the vampire speaks of the vampire hunter as a half-elf, wich the MC then refers to as a half-fairy. Fae kind may be vast and all, but consistency is often under rated...
Ensue a fight between a creature, wich i thought was the bartender, and the vampire hunter. In wich i did not intend to participate, at least not on the hunter side. Bitch comes in and threatens his friend, of course the bartender gets loose. But no, even if you "fail" to protect her she's saved.
Plot holes all over the place, no beta reading -although i assume free version here on itch can substitute to that... All in all didn't have an amazing time. I did like the combat mechanism though, but it's uses are limited because winning or loosing ends up having the same result.
The prologue on the other end, is longer than some VN in their entirety, so there is that too i suppose. I'm counting it as a pro. There is content to it.
!SPOILER!
If you look at the story plot description on the page it's clear that the MC is not well. The prologue is mostly focused on the events surrounding the MC and only very superficially touches on the MC's inner thoughts and emotions, but I try to go into what reason(s) he might have for not sending Mikiko away (she is a typical Tsundere character who is slowly becoming more relatable to the MC), which is clearly stated at the end of the prologue. And why the MC goes along with all this will be revealed more clearly in the next update. My aim with the prologue is to set the scene for the story to get going.
As for the English language bugs, English is not my first language but they will be fixed by the time the android version is released on Sunday.
Thanks for your feedback on the game I really appreciate it.
I think you may want to give a few reasons to why the MC bears with it from the start. I mean right now the best i can think of is that he is really stoic in nature and thinks she may have answers, maybe emphasis on the latter a bit more. I mean the dude is an orphan, so maybe he enjoys having some presence around him too, even as obnoxious as this girl can be.
I may be wrong, but i thought tsundere acted in a distant or violent way only toward their love interrest, not toward random strangers. To me Mikiko is more a violent bitch trying to avenge her parents death more than a shy girl hiding her feeling under a layer of icy behavior or agressivity. I did get hints about you going this way though, all the more with the end of the current version. Not that there is anything wrong with a PTSD riddled girl.
English is fine, for the most part.